AIBU to think no fucking chance or do I need to be kinder to people?

[thisismeusernameything]

I'm prepared to be called a miserable cow and take my flaming if needed as I genuinly don't know if I am being a miserable self-important madam.

I got a friend request from a man I used to go to school with on Facebook. Our lives seem to have gone in very different directions. I've done well where as he seems not to have made much of his life (not stealth boasting, its relevant) I felt sorry for him so accepted but since then he's been tagging me in all kinds of shite about his dog, trips to bingo, meals out blah, blah. Its no big deal. I usually just untag myself and move on.

Today I get two tags from him. One to say that he is out for a meal with his wife, why the fuck he things I would give a shit I do not know and a second with a link to a justgiving site asking for a contribution to a new wheelchair for his wife (I believe she has Cerebral Palsy but from what I've seen its very mild form if there is even such a thing).

From what I can gather this man doesn't work, spends what money they get on whatever they want to do (no judgement. Its his money) but then expects me to put my hand in my pocket to provide things that I would have to save up for. AIBU to expect him not to be out at bloody lunch and to be saving up for things that they need or am I being a miserable bitch?

Its really pissed me off so I blocked him but now feel bad. I'm working my ass off to pay the £17k stamp duty the twat of a tax man wants for the stamp duty on the falling down pile of buildings I'm in the process of buying so my judgement is all over the place.

Who is BU? Should I have given him some cash or should I expect him to stop eating out every other bloody day and fund it himself?

Do your bit in your village? Are you married to the Squire? Lucky villagers; being patronised by you as you "do your bit"

My wheelchair was prescribed by the NHS, if I had purchased it myself it would have cost £5k.
That's a lot of meals out!
And how do you know he is not his wife's carer?

CP can be mild so no need to sound like you think she's faking

You don't sound a very nice person yourself with your comments about stamp duty (boo fuckinh hoo... Thousands of people dream of being able to buy at all)

Unfriendly him and move on with your life

kaytree87 your username is almost exactly mine - how weird!

OK Molly. Later today I will be spending the evening entertaining all the old people in the retirement home here but old people are hated on here too so I suppose that's not good enough for you either.

Your comments about his wife's cerebral palsy sound quite rude.
Your complaints about being in a position to have to pay stamp duty sound slightly moronic.

I don't think you are obliged to contribute to his just giving fund, but I don't think there's a need to be so angry about it.

Look, you haven't stayed in touch over the years and he has recently made contact and is overly including you (and only you) in his life. For what purpose?

Call me cynical but the fact that you may have a penny or two may well be the reason for him deciding he wants you in his life.

You have blocked him, I think you can move on and not feel guilty.

I don't think you are being miserable at all OP but you have made a grave mistake of giving the impression that you are not yourself financially bankrupt and struggling to fill your children's bellies.

So you are bound to get a flaming

Hide him and sort out your settings so that you can no longer be tagged in things and don't give him a penny. He's a virtual stranger to you now!

What girlinacoma said. Sounds like you held a branch of friendship and he tried to strip the bark off it.

I'm prepared to be called a miserable cow and take my flaming if needed

You aren't though, are you?

Look it's easy. Donate or don't donate, whichever one makes you happy.

People are entitled to ask to have their needs met and you are entitled to not meet their needs if you can't/don't want to - there just isn't anything to get your knickers in a twist over.

Because I do wrecking. If you are that interested, PM me and I will explain why.

I never said that she was faking anything. Not sure how you got that. I don't know how you could ever do that?

Anyway point taken. I'm an evil bitch who needs to be kinder to people who have got fuck all.

Just block and move on. No need to respond.

I sort of get that it's annoying if he targeted you but in my experience churchy type people often do this (a cousin of mine when heavily involved in a type of church as a vicar often asked relatives for donations - we declined most of us!) - eg ask/target wealthier people for money. You can either assist or decline.

None of your business to go into what illness his wife has etc.

You aren't though, are you?

Precisely. What response were you expecting, op? I don't understand why you've posted in the first case, surely it's just a case of delete/hide on fb and move on with your life? Or am I missing something? Not like the guy came cap in hand to your door .

Surely you are like the rest of us and have all sorts of people both from your past and friends of friends send you friend requests. Why is this one such a drama ?

So you've done well for yourself by your reckoning
He's unable to work as he's his wife's carer and his life would be made easier carting her around in a lighter wheelchair (NHS ones are heavyweight monsters)

He is posting stuff that doesn't interest you - so unfollow or unfriend him
If you don't want to throw a few quid into the wheelchair fund - then don't.

Not sure why this needed a thread -it's pretty basic stuff for most adults.

OP - why are you taking this personally? you posted in AIBU, you obviously know the score here.

No one thinks you're an evil heartless bitch but from what you've posted earlier and what you continue to post doesn't paint you in the best light sadly.

Gosh don't you sound charming OP.

For "charming" read snobby, unkind and judgey

Unfriend him.
Why haven't you already?

I have a friend who has a similar wheelchair appeal on just giving . He works fulltime but £5K for a lightweight wheelchair that he can load and unload himself means he can be independent instead of having to rely on the goodwill of strangers everytime he wants to get in or out of his car.

Perhaps you'd consider him more deserving or maybe you think he shouldn't (incidently he has being blown away by people's generosity as he was expecting nothing from it and was saving up for the next year or so to afford it - and having to rely on others in the intervening months.)

Bloody hell, I don't envy the old people you'll be 'entertaining' at the retirement home this evening, as you bubble over with scarcely constrained rage and a burning sense of hard-done-by-ness because someone you hardly know had the gall to set up a JustGiving page for his disabled wife's wheelchair.

Tbh I think it is despicable that anyone has to crowd fund a wheelchair, but that's OT.

Block and move on, it's that simple.

As an aside, it's very rarely a good idea to add as Facebook friends former schoolmates you haven't heard from in (presumably) decades.