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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Holiday without DH

25 replies

Msqueen33 · 10/07/2016 18:32

So my dh can't take time off over the six week holidays (his boss said he could take the last week or so in July but dh' steam had a bad time at work last week and he feels he needs to be at work to make sure this month goes well). He also can't take any time in August as his boss is away.

Anyways, my parents have a villa abroad and we had been planning to drive but now my husband can't take time off he can't go but my mum has said me and my dad could go. She could also go. My dad would be over there for 2-3 weeks. Is it mean to take the kids 8,7,3 (two have autism so aren't easy) without my dh?

OP posts:
Jengnr · 10/07/2016 18:34

I took my kids away in May without my husband. Similar situation to yours. We had a great time. Husband missed us but it didn't do him any harm. I say do it!

Mind you, my cousin came with me to help wrestle them on the plane :)

AgentProvocateur · 10/07/2016 18:44

Your DH is choosing to go to work rather than spend time with you and the DC. Why would you even think twice about going on holiday without him? Go, and have a great time b

ApocalypseSlough · 10/07/2016 19:00

Of course not! I don't understand this all together or non at all mentality.

VimFuego101 · 10/07/2016 19:01

Of course not. It's much better than them missing out on the chance of a holiday...

DinosaursRoar · 10/07/2016 19:05

You should go, your dcs shouldn't miss out because your DH didn't plan well enough to book time off in August first!

(Next year, get him to book a week in August in January/as soon as 2017 holiday booking opens, work out where you are going afterwards)

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 10/07/2016 19:06

Is having dejavu!

is he still having trouble with the facebooking junior employee?

tinytemper66 · 10/07/2016 19:08

Done it many a time. In fact my friend and I are off to Roma and our husbands, who work together are in work. Enjoy and don`t feel guilty at all!

Whathaveilost · 10/07/2016 19:10

Blimey if we had that attitude I would only be able to go away for two weeks a year! I get loads more holidays than DH and since the boys were very young I have always taken them away by myself as well as have a holiday with DH and the boys.

I used to take them skiing in Febuary and backpacking for two weeks across Europe. We would have a rough itinerary but no set plan so we could please ourselves what we did.

Now they are older I occasionally go away with DS 1 buy he goes away with his girlfriend and mates more which is completely normal and to be expected so I go away by myself or with friends and look forward to the time me and DH get.

Bottomchops · 10/07/2016 19:14

I'm doing this. It's great if you have an extra pair of hands.

Bearbehind · 10/07/2016 19:18

Theoretically it's not a problem but your DH choosing not to leave his team for a week that he would actually be allowed to have as holiday would really piss me off.

Original poster
Msqueen33 · 10/07/2016 19:21

Ha! Yes Bear that was a whole other thread.

He's only been there since May and despite the boss saying okay to leave he's reluctant as they didn't have a good closing period last month and he wants to make sure the run up goes smoothly.

Part of me feel mean but part of me will glad of a break as he either wants a medal for getting up with one of them, spends a lot of time on his bloody phone or is moaning how tired he is.

OP posts:
ApocalypseSlough · 10/07/2016 19:42
Shock I missed the other thread but if he's been facebookng a junior colleague, is always on his phone and his boss says he's OK to take leave I'd be rather nervous.
Oly5 · 10/07/2016 19:49

Of course you should go!

Original poster
Msqueen33 · 10/07/2016 19:57

No a junior member of his team spends a lot of time on Facebook at work and in meetings not to my husband and isn't pulling their weight.

OP posts:
Mouikey · 10/07/2016 20:20

could your hubby fly over for a long weekend so he doesn't totally miss out?

Huldra · 10/07/2016 20:23

I've often taken mine away without dh, even with a family holiday the summer holidays drag by so I take them on a few camping trips by myself.

This year I am away for the entire summer holidays and my husband flying out to meet us for 10 days.

Original poster
Msqueen33 · 10/07/2016 20:24

I might suggest that to him. He seems a bit distant at the moment so to be honest I'll be glad of a bit of space. To be honest he'll probably be glad of a bit of space.

OP posts:
ApocalypseSlough · 10/07/2016 21:56
Blush I misunderstood. Def go and maybe drag him out for a long weekend. I was amazed that I could send dcs home early from our holiday (rather than us all coming home so they could go on another holiday Hmm) and it was a lot cheaper than I had expected.
pennefabredux · 10/07/2016 23:02

Absolutely go on holiday if you can manage your DC without extra help. We do holidays together, separate, etc. It's what suits, fits with work and school and taking care of dog.

Right now DH is planning trip with his DF and our DC. I'm not going. Not particularly interested in venues, will relish the time alone (with dog), etc.

And I wouldn't worry about your DHs commitment to work and making sure that the month goes well. He's making the choice. You should go, enjoy your holiday, encourage him to join for a weekend if possible.

Ineedmorepatience · 10/07/2016 23:10

Go for it! I have always had at least one mini holiday each yr without my DP, sometimes I go with another family sometimes just with Dd3 now!

We love it, I think its good for all of us.

SweetPeaPods · 10/07/2016 23:17

Go for it! I'm going to Butlins next week with my parents and 2 DC. Dh is at work so my parents are treating the kids.

Mitel · 11/07/2016 11:29

You should go, but then make sure that he can go on a two week holiday himself when you get back and work allows him to. Fairs fair.

Original poster
Msqueen33 · 11/07/2016 11:42

Mitel he's welcome to a two week holiday and can take the kids as I'll be taking our three so it's a holiday in very loose terms. Fairs fair.

OP posts:
Ifiwasabadger · 11/07/2016 11:45

not mean at all. i even holiday completely without my DH and DD...as does he. bliss!

Huldra · 11/07/2016 12:37

MsQueen I was going to say the same thing.

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