Aibu to be upset that friend asked me for money

[heartfeltnovice]

I recently went away for the weekend with a group of friends. One of them had organised and bought the food shop for everybody. I left before the rest of them and as I was packing she came in and asked me to give her the amount I owed towards the food. There had been some email exchange before the trip but no clear instruction how much it would be or how she wanted people to pay. I basically felt cornered to pay before I left. Now I feel offended that she thought she had to do that. As I left early I don't know how it was handled with the others. Am I being overly sensitive? I was annoyed at myself for forgetting to offer before she asked me but now I feel she was a bit too strong in asking.

I've been there too bran. Brought a lonely work friend out with Uni friends. When we split the bill everyone put in their share plus an extra couple of pounds for the tip - yet we were still short. Work friend hadn't put any in!

So when everyone else would have emailed/phoned/text back to find out what would be owed, you asked nothing?
When everyone would have arranged payment either by transfer before hand, or on arrival.. You paid nothing?

I really don't understand why you should be offended. You owed money.

And op, when you arrived, the first thing you should have done was find the person you owed money too and paid up.

Where is the op by the way? Disappeared??

I think she's flounced .

If this is a reverse you're being a twat by posting it.

If this is a made up story you're a seriously shit troll.

If this is real then of course you're BU for being offended at being asked to pay money you owe.

If this is a reverse then YABU for posting in such a fashion.

If this is for real that YABVU fir being annoyed at friend, you should be annoyed with yourself.

This is starting to look like Friday's "OMG my colleagues child is about to be kidnapped!!!!!" thread , where everyone agrees apart from the OP.

Have you considered calling the police OP 😂

You should have offered money as soon as you arrived and realised she'd bought all your food.

Were you secretly hoping to just slip out without paying?

YABU.

What's the betting OP doesn't come back?

The OP has left the building.......I repeat, the OP has left the building.

I think you're saying that you were expecting to pay, but forgot to offer, and you were embarrassed/ put out that she asked you for the money rather than waiting for you to remember? It felt like she thought you were trying to get out of paying as she chased you up so quickly.

I do think YABU, if she is collecting money from lots of people she probably wants to get it on the weekend rather than have to follow it up later. I'm sure she didn't think you were trying to not pay, just that you forgot. Much easier all round if she asks you directly at the time.

I am confused at your issue here. Surely you know your friend has done nothing wrong by asking you face to face before you left.
What would you have done?

YABU! You are totally taking the piss - you wanted to just eat for free all weekend and get offended when you're asked to contribute your fair share? It is piss poor form that your friend had to actually go and ask you. If you're that offended to pay up what you owe then I can only imagine the difficulty your friend would've had to go through to get you to pay up at a later date.

I think it's outrageous she had to ask you.

Clearly the thing to do would be for you to go to her before you left, or even at the beginning of the weekend, and say "thanks for organising the food for us all, what do I owe you?".

Not only did this person volunteer to organise food for everyone, but then you all let her have the burden of being debt collector too, instead of volunteering up the money to pay for the food/drink you were all to eat.

Horrible!

You 'forgot' to offer to pay?

What do you mean 'offer', did you not feel you should pay?

And 'forgot' ? Seriously are you 12?

Got the message. Thanks for the replies.

Have you ever organised a weekend away yourself op?

You know, I'm going to fly wildly in the face of the popular opinion here and say Y may NBU. Depending on how the money was asked for.
Some posters seem to be accusing you of trying to avoid paying which I don't think is right, comments like 'were you expecting to eat for free?' Etc.

As you say, you forgot to bring it up which would have been the best thing to do. But I would, if I was the organiser, have brought it up at the first communal meal - in a kind of 'since we're all here now, the shopping came to X and everyone's share is Y, if you've got cash that's great, if not, I'll give you my bank details. ' I certainly wouldn't have left it until people were packing.

Op, was this the first time that money was mentioned?

When we go away with friends we tend to settle up later over email via bank transfers? Though we are all very laid back. To be fair I wouldn't dream of cornering someone and asking for cash. We just send a post holiday email round with who owes what?
Now if you were never intending to pay what you owe then that is different..

I'd have been grateful for them reminding me!!

Yabu

You must hate getting bills, maybe feel cornered into paying to use electricity and stuff, harsh right? :)

I've realized that some people are so oversensitive, so childish and so annoying that the best thing is just... let them be themselves! The best thing they can do is out themselves so that normal people can drop them and find decent friends to spend time with.

Hopefully, OP was rude to her friend so that they can all realize what a self absorbed brat she is. My guess is that in about six months, the OP will be back on mumsnet asking "My friends all went on a trip together without me. AIBU to whinge like a baby?"

Why didn't you offer to pay your share before you left? Did you not think you had to pay?

Agree with others that it's really awkward & difficult asking after the event.

You should have offered before you had to be asked.

Do you think she asked for too much? How was she a bit strong in asking? Agree YABU though pay what you owe I am baffled as to what you think she did wrong, why should she be short for food you've eaten?