To have been a bit uncomfortable about this?

[Halftheworldaway]

Ordered a pizza at 3.30 last night as was peckish and couldn't sleep. Was paying by cash. I was the only one in the house at the time (I'm pretty small and young-looking, mid 20s).

Anyway, the delivery guy pulls up and I run out with the cash to greet him before he rings door bell to stop him waking neighbours. He seems like a nice enough guy etc, but physically very solidly built, tall, big. He asks to step inside so he can read the bill in the light. He's literally towering over me blocking the door-frame.

All was fine and I paid but for a moment I got extremely paranoid that it was very easy for something to have happened, if he wasn't that nice. I had literally just brought a random stranger into the house.

Aibu to think he could have made a note of the bill amount in the car so I could have paid him asap rather than fumbling with the receipt.

YABVU to be eating takeaway pizza in the middle of the night. Next.

Next time have toast.

YABVU to be eating takeaway pizza in the middle of the night.

Why?

VestalVirgin - I was being sarcastic.

Not U at all.

I was alone in work once and this bloke came round, work knew him and he'd never given me any reason to worry, but he's a big, solid bloke and he was annoyed about something we had or hadn't done and let off steam a bit while standing in the doorway and it did make me anxious. There was no unpleasantness aimed at me, no shouting or anything, but I did feel rather cornered.

He of course was completely oblivious.

These things happen sometimes. It's not unreasonable to be concerned sometimes, or think that maybe that wasn't such a great idea. Of course if you worry about it a lot and the worry effects your life that's different.

The driver is in a far more vulnerable position here, they are on your turf,

While I am sure that is true for you, if your nickname is reflecting your actual sex, Phaleonopsisgirl, it is not true for a big guy who delivers pizza to a small woman.
A martial artist would certainly be able to make use of their home turf and knowledge thereof in a fight, but most small women, alas, are not martial artists.

VestalVirgin - I was being sarcastic.

Ah. Difficult to tell. You know, Poe's Law.

pippinandtog. OMG where did I say I was delicate or pretty?!?
OP said she was pretty small and young-looking.
Not pretty, small and young-looking
Bit of an eats shoots and leaves thing

No pippin, my comprehension of the OP's posts was fine thank you 😊

So for clarity here OP what you are saying is that a tall man is more likely to attack you than a shorter one? As the mother of three boys who are all likely to be 6'4" or taller I find this way of thinking quite worrying.

Way to go Blossom... of course that's what she said! Pah!

It's exactly what she said - she felt more vulnerable because of the size of the delivery driver.

Blossom that's a gross misinterpretation of what the OP said.

It's not that tall men are more dangerous. It's the difference in relative height and body weight to her own is more instinctively threatening.

This is not a difficult concept to understand - and is one you should make your tall sons aware of. My tall DH is aware of it.

I'm sure a 5 foot body builder would be just as big a threat - her issue was the difference in height not the fact that it was a man.

But the fact was the driver was much taller than the OP. And he was in her personal space, in the dark at 3am.

She's not being offensive to tall people to have been made a little nervous by that fact.

Blossom you are backtracking form a very much more indignant statement:

So for clarity here OP what you are saying is that a tall man is more likely to attack you than a shorter one? As the mother of three boys who are all likely to be 6'4" or taller I find this way of thinking quite worrying.

You first suggested that OP had said that tall men were more likely to be attackers. Which is not what she said, in any way shape or form.

Now you say it was the disparity in height... which s part of what OP said. And of course a height disparity can add to the kind of response OP had to the situation she was in. Your example of a 5ft tall body builder would too... an appreciable difference in body mass, height, weight, muscle, would make that difference. And yes, women will often feel more threatened by men than women... for some fairly obvious reasons.

OP also clearly stated it had noting to do with the man in question, he did nothing. It was her own sudden feeling of vulnerability because of the situation.

So, given that you have stepped away from your first incorrect statement, what exactly was your point?

Yabu.
It must be pretty depressing being a man sometimes when you're just doing your job and people are afraid of you and treat you like a rapist.

No I am absolutely not back tracking. The OP made a big song a dance about the size of the delivery driver - the implication was that she would not have felt threatened had he been smaller.

The man was doing his job and delivering her pizza - I can't see any reason at all why she should have felt threatened or vulnerable especially as she said he seemed like a nice guy.

Tbf not many people could fight back unless they were a male of that hieght, that not his fault in the same way it's not your hieght. People would be giving him similar comments if he went back to work saying 'God, this woman ordered pizza and put me in a really difficult position because she was alone in the house and vunerable looking and Because she hadn't installed an outside light had to come in to the house to read the receipt.'

He didn't know you were on your own in the house unless you told him, it would take a very bold person to just assume you were and barge into the house to attack you without making the kind of small talk to find out if you were home alone, at which point you could mentioned you're husband the 7 foot boxer who was hungry upstairs.

Maybe take your phone to the door next time, you can turn on the torch function for light and feel more secure.

You just know that if OP HAD been attacked, everyone would be saying, "what was she thinking, letting a strange man come into her home in the middle of the night".
OP YANBU.

Blossom you wrote what you are saying is that a tall man is more likely to attack you than a shorter one?

That is very different from what you have now clarified the implication was that she would not have felt threatened had he been smaller.

I wonder if their are stats available on attacks by tall and short men?

You just know that if OP HAD been attacked, everyone would be saying, "what was she thinking, letting a strange man come into her home in the middle of the night".

Good point.

Not necessarily... he was delivering pizza, there for a reason, not just a totally random bloke off the street... it is always possible that that would have tempered at least some of the responses!

I have done the thing where I've pretended I wasn't home alone to a takeaway delivery man, but only because I was ashamed about the amount of food I'd ordered.

Shark, are you a man?

I'm tall, average build. Didn't find it easy to defend myself against my much shorter yet stocky ex bf. A punch to the head with a well muscled arm can put you on the floor, therefore putting one at a disadvantage.

Your responses remind me of what my mother said, when I told her (years later) "well why didn't you just push him away?"

I do exactly the same as you!! Can't believe that others do this too, you gotta when your a lone woman tbf.

I don't think you're BU to have felt uncomfortable/ anxious, OP, but it wasn't the pizza delivery guy's fault either.

I live up a long, dark drive with no external lighting apart from a fairly dim little light on the side of my house. I take a torch with me to the door if I answer it after dark. This might be a good idea for you if you order nocturnal pizza again.