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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To put guests in the attic instead of swapping the rooms around?

103 replies

NestJay · 08/07/2016 15:15

We have 3 bedrooms but the room that used to be the guest room is now an office (crammed with electronic stuff, DH needs access to it for his work project).

DS (10 months) has his own room, with ensuite and double bed. I sleep in with him as he wakes frequently and I'm trying to sleep-train. There's no space in our room for his cot and he hates the travel cot.

We have an attic conversation under the eaves m that's more a storage room. Lots of boxes of stuff and suitcases and I dry washing up there. If I move some boxes I can make space for a double camping mat.

We have guests a lot. When PILs stay I don't mind giving up our bedroom, but I'm fed up of doing this for other guests.

OP posts:

teacher54321 · 09/07/2016 07:57

I would not give up my bed for anyone. i totally get where you're coming from with the exhaustion. I have not enjoyed having guests since having Ds as it's so tiring. Can you get a futon for the attic? You can get cheap ones from IKEA and then it's in situ, and you don't have to feel guilty about people sleeping up there. Or as a PP suggested get a single bed for Ds and put the other double in the attic?

ParanoidGynodroid · 09/07/2016 08:05

Hmm, have you suddenly changed your name to Nuuni , OP?

Penfold007 · 09/07/2016 08:44

OP time for some honest thinking, do you actually want guests? If it's a no they simply say No. If it's a yes then you and your H need to tidy the attic up and put an inexpensive proper bed up there. Get the boxes tidied up and maybe a clothes rail, guests don't expect wardrobes etc. Asking adults to sleep on a mat when there are two proper double beds isn't nice. I appreciate your DS is a bad sleeper but your H coping with it for the odd weekend isn't the end of the world.

Dutchcourage · 09/07/2016 08:48

Oh god I'd just say no.

Ring up and cancel ASAP

Hulababy · 09/07/2016 08:59

Get a double bed for guests. You can get ones for not much more than £100 in sales. It'll be worth the money, and better for everyone. Make the attic room into your new guest room.

Or say no to house guests.

LIZS · 09/07/2016 09:08

I thought this had a familiar ring to it . If you can't/won't move your ds or move in with him, can you purchase an inexpensive bed frame and mattress or fold up type bed. Expecting adult visitors to sleep on mats when there is a bed available seems unnecessarily harsh.

Nuuni · 09/07/2016 09:11

There's no room up there for a bed or futon. There's just enough floor space for the double air mat, but the rest is boxes (stacked where possible, but it's under the eaves so can't stack high). It's the only storage space, all the rooms are very small and no garage or shed. The bedrooms barely fit a single wardrobe (the disadvantage of en-suites!) We have furniture and winter clothes stored in the attic too, nowhere else to put them.

It's not that I don't want guests, I enjoy having people who muck in and act like part of the family, who help themselves to food and are happy to sleep anywhere. It's the ones who expect cooked meals, a proper bed and space to hang clothes that I find tiring, the sort who wait to be offered a coffee rather than make their own.

Yes I think I am going through an exhaustion phase! It's mainly that I can't get anything done, as he climbs up the furniture or plays with wires and screams if left in his travel cot for 5mins. So trying to change a bed is stop-start and takes ages, he needs to be constantly watched! Cleaning is done at weekends when DH is home.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 09/07/2016 09:16

I wouldn't have regular visitors with a non sleeping baby unless it was family.

purplefizz26 · 09/07/2016 09:20

Only on mumsnet is it like THE LAW to say yes to anybody who asks to stay over in your home and have a huge upheaval to accommodate said guests.

I certainly wouldn't move my child from their room, give up my bed or anything like that.

And paying for their travel lodge if you can't provide a bed?! Fuck that! They can pay for their own travel lodge if they want a holiday/ weekend break

Fair enough if you have a totally spare bedroom with a bed and are happy for guests to stay but for goodness sake just say no sorry we can't provide a spare bed any longer otherwise

PurpleDaisies · 09/07/2016 09:27

Only on mumsnet is it like THE LAW to say yes to anybody who asks to stay over in your home and have a huge upheaval to accommodate said guests.

purple did you miss the swathe of posters saying that the op should just say no to anyone she didn't feel she could accommodate? I think you're reading a diffident thread...

DinosaursRoar · 09/07/2016 09:28

If people are visiting for the weekend, then why can't your DH sleep in the double bed in ds's room with you, as he won't be commuting in the morning?

Just refuse guests mid-week when DH has to go to work in the morning.

Most people don't have guest rooms anymore, unless it's a loft conversion or a bed in a study, few people can afford extra bedrooms than they need for the people who live there/are prepared to make dcs share bedrooms in order to keep a spare room. It is insane that some people think your DH is wrong to not want to use the 3rd bedroom as a study /home office and actually use the room, rather than just leave it unused 90% of the time.

Stop hosting people.

MyNewBearTotoro · 09/07/2016 09:36

If you bed is something like this then I think it's completely fine for a few days.

If not that's only £17 so maybe invest in one - I don't think you need a super fancy air bed, just something that raises people off the floor. Maybe just explain to people when they ask if they can stay, 'Yes but we don't have a guest room so it will be an air bed in our ensure attic room. Is that okay for you guys?' Then if anyone is very against the idea they can say no but I would certainly be happy to stay on an air bed for a few daysz

SteviebunsBottrittrundle · 09/07/2016 09:36

Oh fgs op just say no! I do it. It is so not the law, on MN or anywhere else, to accommodate guests. I don't accommodate any who require any serious looking after. What a complete pain when you have a non-sleeping toddler. Fuck that. Tell them you don't have room.

DinosaursRoar · 09/07/2016 09:38

Oh and, you've probably only got a year before your dc is in a bed. At that point you could clear out the loft room and put the double bed from dcs room up there for guests.

You could question if it's a good idea to be hosting frequently this year when you have a non-sleeping baby, and people want to visit when your DH has to go to work in the morning.

Also are you looking at spending more on storage solutions and extra camp beds or sofa beds in this year than it would cost to just book them a travelodge.

(Do you live somewhere that's a good base for a mini-break like the seaside or a city centre? You need to question if people are coming to see you or just because it's a cheap holiday.)

SteviebunsBottrittrundle · 09/07/2016 09:49

You need to question if people are coming to see you or just because it's a cheap holiday

Totally agree with this^^.

The rude people I mentioned in my post up thread I don't think even know what a hotel is. They always stay with people wherever they go even if their trip is a holiday for them and they don't really know the people well. The woman once said to me "oh we've been invited to this wedding but I'm really struggling to find anyone who we can stay with. We've even offered to stay on X's sofa but they said there isn't room" aaaargh - use a hotel or just don't bloody go! It drives me mad. Hotels / b&bs can be cheap as chips if you just shop around a bit and do it in advance and this couple have fairly good jobs though they aren't exactly rolling in dough - who is these days? The cost to me as the host often ended up being far more than the cost of a hotel when I'd paid for all the meals and drinks they had at our flat. They even went out for a meal with us and meticulously divided up the cost with us to the fucking penny! Apart from that meal we barely saw them as they had stuff to do in the city and they were always going off to have sex for naps in the middle of the day, leaving me alone in the living room right beside their bedroom door ugh. We got a very cheap bottle of wine as a thank you. Never again.

purplefizz26 · 09/07/2016 14:01

*Purple
*
Several people have commented with crazy suggestions, like the OP should just suck it up.

No need to be arsey.

PurpleDaisies · 09/07/2016 14:08

I wasn't bring arsey. Your phrasing of mumsnet saying it's the law to have guests to stay just doesn't reflect most of the posts after the op admitted she found it really stressful having people to stay.

CharlieSierra · 09/07/2016 15:20

Having a guest room is for people with massive houses

To be fair OP has 4 bedrooms including the en suite attic conversion and there are only 2 adults and a baby. She chooses to store things in the attic and use one of the other rooms as an office. It's up to her, but she could choose to set up the space in a different way and not have a problem. If I remember correctly she didn't respond to any of the sensible suggestions last time she posted about this either.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 09/07/2016 15:34

I have a guest room, don't have a massive house!

SouperSal · 09/07/2016 15:44

What's with all the airbed love? Slept on a family member's £100+ one earlier this year. Never again. Like sleeping on a bloody bouncy castle.

Trills · 09/07/2016 15:48

We don't love airbeds, we just think they are better than camping mats, which is what the OP originally suggested.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 09/07/2016 15:48

Souper - yes, they're awful!

JessieMcJessie · 09/07/2016 16:06

It sounds like you are using a reasonably- sized house all wrong. I'd politely decline these guests but then have a good rethink about how you use the existing space. Why do you have new carpet in a room that you only ever intend to use for storage? What was the point of converting it at all? Why are you and your DH sleeping in a room that is too small for a double bed and a cot, then giving a baby a room that is big enough for a double bed and a cot, and has an ensuite? When DS gets older would it not make more sense for him to have what is currently your room, and you to use the one that is currently his?
Why are you storing furniture in the attic? If there is nowhere in the house to put it then you need to get rid of it. Have you looked at vacuum bags to decrease the space needed for the winter clothes? Building high shelves somewhere to free up floor space?

Your house sounds lovely and such a shame you don't seem to be making the most of it.

SevenFtBride · 09/07/2016 16:19

jessie sensible suggestions

catkind · 09/07/2016 18:14

Ooh, I love our (very cheap) airbed. Super comfy. Not bouncy castle-like really, though I could quite fancy sleeping on a bouncy castle too now you mention it. Maybe it wasn't blown up enough soupersal?

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