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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To put guests in the attic instead of swapping the rooms around?

103 replies

NestJay · 08/07/2016 15:15

We have 3 bedrooms but the room that used to be the guest room is now an office (crammed with electronic stuff, DH needs access to it for his work project).

DS (10 months) has his own room, with ensuite and double bed. I sleep in with him as he wakes frequently and I'm trying to sleep-train. There's no space in our room for his cot and he hates the travel cot.

We have an attic conversation under the eaves m that's more a storage room. Lots of boxes of stuff and suitcases and I dry washing up there. If I move some boxes I can make space for a double camping mat.

We have guests a lot. When PILs stay I don't mind giving up our bedroom, but I'm fed up of doing this for other guests.

OP posts:

coconutpie · 08/07/2016 16:28

OP, have you posted about this before? This is such familiar reading.

Tell your friends no this month. Why on earth are you having people stay when clearly you have no space? I can't believe you're actually giving up your own bedroom for these guests, that's crazy. Have PILs stay if you want but other than that, no house guests. Or tell them that the only space you have now is the attic and it's not ideal. Let them decide if they want to stay there or not. If not, they can go check into a hotel.

SteviebunsBottrittrundle · 08/07/2016 16:30

Can't you just tell them you don't have room for them? If you forewarn them that if they still want to come, they'll have to stay in the attic on a camp bed between boxes they at least have the choice of whether or not they want to come.

I don't know if this is similar to your situation, but DH and I used to live in Edinburgh and certain people used our spare room like a hotel, especially during the festival or Hogmonay. It was lovely when people used to come to visit us, but there were a couple of people who weren't at all fussed to see us and just wanted the free bed and board in a nice part of the city. I refuse to let them stay with us now - they asked to stay over when we lived near London and they had tickets for a west end show . I told them it wasn't convenient and they haven't asked again.

TheAntiBoop · 08/07/2016 16:31

Tell your friends where they will be sleeping. I doubt they will want to visit!

You either welcome guests warmly and comfortably or you say it's just not possible but you can recommend a nearby b&b

suspiciousofgoldfish · 08/07/2016 16:37

It's totally fair enough to say you no longer have a spare room.

One is now an office, the other (loft) is being redecorated and not ready for guests.

Job done.

chitofftheshovel · 08/07/2016 16:40

I second letting potential guests know that they'll be sleeping in the attic and let them decide. To me it sounds luxury, but then DC and I often stay in garden sheds, we are very low needs. My brother, on the other hand would no way consider such lowly accommodation. It sounds like you could make that space really lovely, good luck with all your visitors.

MollyTwo · 08/07/2016 16:46

Garden shed? Very low needs indeed!

RaspberryBeret34 · 08/07/2016 16:51

It sounds like a perfectly acceptable room albeit with boxes etc so I think YANBU.

I'd get a double bed off freecycle/ebay to put up there, stack the boxes as neatly as poss and maybe chuck a throw over them! In the longer term, get some underbed storage boxes and get some other cheap but reasonable looking storage for your stuff (again, freecycle/ebay or ikea). Guests can provide/arrange their own child beds - they can get little ready beds that aren't too expensive. If you make it look OK then your MIL can stay up there too and you don't have to give up your room.

I wouldn't bother deep cleaning for guests, just do a quick flick round and they have to take you as they find you. And say no if there are too many in a short space of time or if it'll all be too much or you just don't like them . Life's too short. I don't think I'd have fancied having so many guests to entertain and a non-sleeping baby.

CharlieSierra · 08/07/2016 17:00

If you don't want guests fine, your choice. I can't help thinking that with the space you have, you've arranged it to be as inflexible as possible. Your baby has a room with a double bed and en suite. Your DH has the other room as an office and you use your attic conversion for crap. Why can't baby have the smaller room with his cot and a day bed for you, and DH has his office in the attic conversion? Then you'd have a spare double with bath.

Original poster

NestJay · 08/07/2016 17:05

Not sure why you think a baby must be moved every time we have guests He lives here. He is happiest sleeping in his cot (hates the travel cot) and it's disruptive to keep moving him.

Maybe I'm just not cut out to have regular guests
My Dsis is happy in the attic and used to prefer it over the guestroom (probably because it's quieter up there).

Thing with a guestroom is you can have it all set up, clean and ready all the time. Now when guests are due it's a big panic to get the rooms ready.

OP posts:

TheAntiBoop · 08/07/2016 17:07

You don't want to have guests so don't have guests.

RhiWrites · 08/07/2016 17:08

Wow. "Welcome guests! So nice to see you. This is our room with a double bed, this is the baby's room with double bed, this was the spare room but now it's an office - and this mat on the floor in the attic is where you'll be sleeping! Enjoy!"

"Oh and we're having full English breakfasts and I've got in some gruel for you."

PurpleDaisies · 08/07/2016 17:08

Thing with a guestroom is you can have it all set up, clean and ready all the time. Now when guests are due it's a big panic to get the rooms ready.

It is quite a privilege to have a big enough house to have a room kept free just in case people come to stay.

If it's too stressful entertaining guests just say no.

Wolfiefan · 08/07/2016 17:10

Not cut out to have guests? So say no?
Or DH sleep with you or in attic.

TheAntiBoop · 08/07/2016 17:11

Agree that having a guest room is lucky. When I was a kid we used to end up sleeping in all sorts of places so guests could sleep in our rooms.

NorbertDentressangle · 08/07/2016 17:13

I don't really want to buy an expensive double airbed

Tesco Direct £7.50.

Personally though , in your situation, I would sleep in the DCs room with DP and give up my room for the guests.

Roussette · 08/07/2016 17:13

I used to move my kids round all the time if we had guests. At 10 months he is very portable! (and I would get him used to a travel cot)

catkind · 08/07/2016 17:20

Seeing as it's them asking to come, I think it would be reasonable to say you're trying to sleep train so you don't want to move things around, but they're welcome if they don't mind sharing the attic conversion with boxes. Long term how about having a sleep-able sofa or sofa bed downstairs for when guests come.

I mean, of course you don't have to have visitors if you're not feeling up to it at the moment, but at some point you'll want to again won't you?

CuthbertDibble · 08/07/2016 17:23

Why don't you move the double bed into the attic room and buy a single for your son's room? You can use the single when you share his room and he can use it in a year or two when he outgrows his cot.

BlunderWomansCat · 08/07/2016 17:24

Seeing as ds is frequently waking (and you must be knackered) perhaps it's best not to accept guests at the mo. Long term solution is comfy sofa bed in attic room

MatildaTheCat · 08/07/2016 17:27

You have plenty of better options and surely you would still have to clean the attic and provide bedding?

It sounds like you just don't want so many guests and I sympathise with that- we get a lot and not even to see us, just to be close to other people and places. The cooking, general hosting etc are worse IMO than the preparation.

However, in answer to your question YABU but if you want to reduce the flow of guests it should be highly effective. Just warn them first so they have the choice?

CraftyPenguin · 08/07/2016 17:35

Just say no, you don't have the space anymore. It's clear you don't want guests!
Have you posted about this before?

HerRoyalNotness · 08/07/2016 17:37

YANBU, most people don't have space for a spare room and as it is your house, use it as suits your family!!

If people want to stay you offer the attic, if they don't like that they don't have to come. Agree with PP that is sounds as if you could do with a sort out in the attic. You have a spare room that is wasted, filled with boxes of what exactly? Get Kondo-ing on the space.

TattyCat · 08/07/2016 17:41

Haven't you posted this exact same question before? I remember it and unless there's someone with the exact same scenario...

PurpleDaisies · 08/07/2016 17:43

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2641684-To-put-guests-in-the-attic-on-a-mat?pg=1&order=

Is this the thread you mean tatty?

BalloonSlayer · 08/07/2016 17:44

Why can't you move your DH's office stuff up to the attic, move DS into the original guestroom and have a proper guestroom again?

No small child needs an en-suite.

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