Another wibu. Me or the neighbours

[pud1]

Moved into a new house about 10 weeks ago. I have 2 dd's ages 6 and 8. Next door have a 2 yo and one on the way

Second week we were here we had 5 friends round. I went to bed at about 11. Oh and 2 others stayed up until about 2. They were nipping out to the garden for a cigarette. Our bedroom window is above were they were stood and I didn't hear them. Next day the neighbours complained about the noise. No music was playing just talking. I just assumed that they was talking loudly and apologised. The wife then came out and said that she is not sleeping due to pg and that the 2 yo gets up at 5 so she is probably just being grumpy.
I was a bit as they have been having massive ground works done to the garden and it has been starting at about 7.30 every morning including weekends. We have had to put with it.
We picked up a new puppy today at at 8.45 pm my dd was playing in the garden with the pup. The pup was chasing her and she was laughing and making some noise. Not screaming. Next door husband came out to complain. He said that 2 yo had woken 3 times ( she has only been out for 20 mins). I instinctively apologised. He the saw the puppy and we chatted about him for a few mins and he went in.
Aibu to let the dd's play in the garden at this time. I can see this is going to be a problem in the summer hols. Should I be bringing them in earlier. They are normally in bed by8 on a school night but I do let them stay up in the holidays and they have been known to play our till about 9.30 in previous summer hols

I'm not miserable or uptight BigSandy and nor have I ever complained to or about my neighbours even in the face of some pretty extreme provocation at times. I'm moving house because their noise and the behaviour of their children, is intolerable. They incite the other kids in the street to behave badly, to the despair of their own parents. Two of the other mothers tackled NDN about her kids last week, to no avail.

And the weather and light nights change nothing in our situation. No matter how foul or how dark, NDN kids are outside until 9 every night of the year - whether they want to be or not.

neighbours are entitled to a peaceful life

I disagree, what neighbours are entitled to is a normal life. That means that if people near to each other then they will be able to hear each other. Unless there are rules to say 'over 50s' or something then there will be children who will play and make noise while they play.

After 11pm and before 8am then the noise should be kept to an absolute minimum.

"My toddlers go to bed at 7 or 7.30pm, so it would annoy me if I had to keep their windows shut to try to hide the noise from next door until nearly 9.30pm!"

You can't expect everyone to keep to toddler time!
I won't hoover my flat after about 10pm when some adults might be going to bed, but I'm not going to avoid hoovering from 7 onwards because some people have small children.

Hmmm. People outside at 2am would freak me out a bit, but it sounds odd that it would wake someone up in a detached house next door. Your daughter wasn't being unreasonable either, by the sound of it. But yes, as other posters have said, obviously it had bothered them enough to make them complain. Only time will tell if they are inveterate moaners or if it is just a "stressed, baby on the way" time for them - I think the best advice in the meantime is just to be as considerate as you can without completely constraining your own life. 8.45, for example, would be when many people were having dinner and they might quite reasonably choose to do that outside on a nice evening and have a conversation. That's a very different ball game from playing rock music at full volume until midnight or beyond. They can't expect everybody to live as though they have a 2 year old in the house - it is, to use a phrase much beloved on Mumsnet - very entitled!

Those of you making the "only in your opinion" comments...whose opinion would you like me to give? Bit of a redundant point really.

"I disagree, what neighbours are entitled to is a normal life. That means that if people near to each other then they will be able to hear each other."

Absolutely. Kids playing in the garden in the evening in summer is normal. People gathered in the garden for a cigarette and chatting during the occasional late night gathering is also normal.

Lots of embellishing going on on this thread too...lots of mentions of shrieking and a yappy dog. That's not what actually happened but don't let the truth get in the way of a good bout of bosom hoiking will you?

Live and let live. Stop apologising to the beighbours. The are trying to assume authority over your lifestyle. Carry on living your lives in the normal family way. You do not have to prioritise their bloody toddler.

Ok for kids to play outside in the early evening but if they were still shrieking after about 8 o'clock I'd be getting then in to calm down. Ours play outside but are usually playing quietly by that time.
Could you just be a very loud family so you're unaware how annoying it is?

8.45pm is quite late for playing in the garden I am afraid. I think yabu. Although so are they for having groundwork starting at 730am!

I think your child being out at that time is fine as long as there is no screaming etc, laughing and playing is lovely.
I can see where they are coming from re the talking late at night, i'm in a semi detached and can hear the non attached neighbours at night when they stay out talking, some people pick up these thhings more than others
:-(

YANBU, OP. It's not like you were having a wild party in the garden at 2 AM.

Our neighbours mvoed in with a 14 month old and 3 year old - have been here nearly 3 years. I brought up 5 kids under 11 when we moved n here and never had any complaints about noise - and my kids tore around the house and garden, at will. Now only 2 teens at home, and all they do is play football over the road or go on their PS4. So our neighbours have it easy, compared to my original (nice) neighbours.

Yet from the week they moved in they complained about noise. Said we were slamming doors and complained to the council within days of moving in. Council came out to have a look, and told them they were talking rubbish as they had no furniture and no carpets so any sound from our side was amplified, and basically told them to STFU.

From then on, they have been ultra vigilant trying to catch us being noisy. One afternoon the woman's head popped above the fence to tell us to turn off our power washer (It was mid afternoon, broad daylight, and a weekend) because it was waking her baby. Yet the neighbour the other side, who we share an area of garden with (so they're essentially 1M further away from her) uses power tools at 8 PM and she daren't complain - ditto the neighbour two doors down who is always fixing up motor bikes, drilling, hammering. Bottom line is the other 3 houses here all work so can only do stuff at weekends. They're unemployed so can do things when they like - but still try to control us. But only us - they never complain at the other neighbours manly because they're both built like brick shit houses and would knock them into next week. ;o)

We stopped bothering about being thoughtful when the new neighbours - oh so bothered about their child being woken up - were prancing drunkenly around the front garden at 2AM screaming drunkenly then calling the coppers on eachother...

It's been a while since she's dared complain about the noise. We knew she was lying about the kid being disturbed too, as we hear the way she speaks to her kids (well screams the c word at them) and it's obvious her kid's feelings are her least concern in the world.

So yes, usually those who complain about noise are the ones making it.

For a long time, I was very inhibited in my own house and crept around as I was in fact afraid she'd hurt her kids if we woke them up but three years on - we don't give a shit. Neither do the other neighbours.

8.45pm is quite late for playing in the garden I am afraid

I'm afraid its not.

Id start listening out for any noise your neighbours make and then knock on there door and complain..might make them think twice in future x

UPDATE - she has complained again. this time it was at 6.55pm on Saturday and our friends son who is 11 yo was playing in the garden with the puppy. puppy was barking for a few mins as he was chasing friends son. neighbor opened her bedroom window and shouted " will you shut the hell up i am trying to get XXX to sleep" i did not get chance to say anything back as she had slammed the window shut as soon as she noticed that i was in the garden also. i am concerning going round after work to inform her that i dont appreciate her shouting at my guests.