Another wibu. Me or the neighbours

[pud1]

Moved into a new house about 10 weeks ago. I have 2 dd's ages 6 and 8. Next door have a 2 yo and one on the way

Second week we were here we had 5 friends round. I went to bed at about 11. Oh and 2 others stayed up until about 2. They were nipping out to the garden for a cigarette. Our bedroom window is above were they were stood and I didn't hear them. Next day the neighbours complained about the noise. No music was playing just talking. I just assumed that they was talking loudly and apologised. The wife then came out and said that she is not sleeping due to pg and that the 2 yo gets up at 5 so she is probably just being grumpy.
I was a bit as they have been having massive ground works done to the garden and it has been starting at about 7.30 every morning including weekends. We have had to put with it.
We picked up a new puppy today at at 8.45 pm my dd was playing in the garden with the pup. The pup was chasing her and she was laughing and making some noise. Not screaming. Next door husband came out to complain. He said that 2 yo had woken 3 times ( she has only been out for 20 mins). I instinctively apologised. He the saw the puppy and we chatted about him for a few mins and he went in.
Aibu to let the dd's play in the garden at this time. I can see this is going to be a problem in the summer hols. Should I be bringing them in earlier. They are normally in bed by8 on a school night but I do let them stay up in the holidays and they have been known to play our till about 9.30 in previous summer hols

[pud1]

UPDATE - she has complained again. this time it was at 6.55pm on Saturday and our friends son who is 11 yo was playing in the garden with the puppy. puppy was barking for a few mins as he was chasing friends son. neighbor opened her bedroom window and shouted " will you shut the hell up i am trying to get XXX to sleep" i did not get chance to say anything back as she had slammed the window shut as soon as she noticed that i was in the garden also. i am concerning going round after work to inform her that i dont appreciate her shouting at my guests.

[myusernamewastaken]

Id start listening out for any noise your neighbours make and then knock on there door and complain..might make them think twice in future x

[peggyundercrackers]

8.45pm is quite late for playing in the garden I am afraid

I'm afraid its not.

[JoffreyBaratheon]

YANBU, OP. It's not like you were having a wild party in the garden at 2 AM.

Our neighbours mvoed in with a 14 month old and 3 year old - have been here nearly 3 years. I brought up 5 kids under 11 when we moved n here and never had any complaints about noise - and my kids tore around the house and garden, at will. Now only 2 teens at home, and all they do is play football over the road or go on their PS4. So our neighbours have it easy, compared to my original (nice) neighbours.

Yet from the week they moved in they complained about noise. Said we were slamming doors and complained to the council within days of moving in. Council came out to have a look, and told them they were talking rubbish as they had no furniture and no carpets so any sound from our side was amplified, and basically told them to STFU.

From then on, they have been ultra vigilant trying to catch us being noisy. One afternoon the woman's head popped above the fence to tell us to turn off our power washer (It was mid afternoon, broad daylight, and a weekend) because it was waking her baby. Yet the neighbour the other side, who we share an area of garden with (so they're essentially 1M further away from her) uses power tools at 8 PM and she daren't complain - ditto the neighbour two doors down who is always fixing up motor bikes, drilling, hammering. Bottom line is the other 3 houses here all work so can only do stuff at weekends. They're unemployed so can do things when they like - but still try to control us. But only us - they never complain at the other neighbours manly because they're both built like brick shit houses and would knock them into next week. ;o)

We stopped bothering about being thoughtful when the new neighbours - oh so bothered about their child being woken up - were prancing drunkenly around the front garden at 2AM screaming drunkenly then calling the coppers on eachother...

It's been a while since she's dared complain about the noise. We knew she was lying about the kid being disturbed too, as we hear the way she speaks to her kids (well screams the c word at them) and it's obvious her kid's feelings are her least concern in the world.

So yes, usually those who complain about noise are the ones making it.

For a long time, I was very inhibited in my own house and crept around as I was in fact afraid she'd hurt her kids if we woke them up but three years on - we don't give a shit. Neither do the other neighbours.

[ineedwine99]

I think your child being out at that time is fine as long as there is no screaming etc, laughing and playing is lovely.
I can see where they are coming from re the talking late at night, i'm in a semi detached and can hear the non attached neighbours at night when they stay out talking, some people pick up these thhings more than others
:-(

[wheresthel1ght]

8.45pm is quite late for playing in the garden I am afraid. I think yabu. Although so are they for having groundwork starting at 730am!

[Mycraneisfixed]

Ok for kids to play outside in the early evening but if they were still shrieking after about 8 o'clock I'd be getting then in to calm down. Ours play outside but are usually playing quietly by that time.
Could you just be a very loud family so you're unaware how annoying it is?

[pictish]

"I disagree, what neighbours are entitled to is a normal life. That means that if people near to each other then they will be able to hear each other."

Absolutely. Kids playing in the garden in the evening in summer is normal. People gathered in the garden for a cigarette and chatting during the occasional late night gathering is also normal.

Lots of embellishing going on on this thread too...lots of mentions of shrieking and a yappy dog. That's not what actually happened but don't let the truth get in the way of a good bout of bosom hoiking will you?

Live and let live. Stop apologising to the beighbours. The are trying to assume authority over your lifestyle. Carry on living your lives in the normal family way. You do not have to prioritise their bloody toddler.

[TheUnsullied]

Those of you making the "only in your opinion" comments...whose opinion would you like me to give? Bit of a redundant point really.

[NataliaOsipova]

Hmmm. People outside at 2am would freak me out a bit, but it sounds odd that it would wake someone up in a detached house next door. Your daughter wasn't being unreasonable either, by the sound of it. But yes, as other posters have said, obviously it had bothered them enough to make them complain. Only time will tell if they are inveterate moaners or if it is just a "stressed, baby on the way" time for them - I think the best advice in the meantime is just to be as considerate as you can without completely constraining your own life. 8.45, for example, would be when many people were having dinner and they might quite reasonably choose to do that outside on a nice evening and have a conversation. That's a very different ball game from playing rock music at full volume until midnight or beyond. They can't expect everybody to live as though they have a 2 year old in the house - it is, to use a phrase much beloved on Mumsnet - very entitled!

[Gwenhwyfar]

"My toddlers go to bed at 7 or 7.30pm, so it would annoy me if I had to keep their windows shut to try to hide the noise from next door until nearly 9.30pm!"

You can't expect everyone to keep to toddler time!
I won't hoover my flat after about 10pm when some adults might be going to bed, but I'm not going to avoid hoovering from 7 onwards because some people have small children.

[GnomeDePlume]

neighbours are entitled to a peaceful life

I disagree, what neighbours are entitled to is a normal life. That means that if people near to each other then they will be able to hear each other. Unless there are rules to say 'over 50s' or something then there will be children who will play and make noise while they play.

After 11pm and before 8am then the noise should be kept to an absolute minimum.

[carabos]

And the weather and light nights change nothing in our situation. No matter how foul or how dark, NDN kids are outside until 9 every night of the year - whether they want to be or not.

[carabos]

I'm not miserable or uptight BigSandy and nor have I ever complained to or about my neighbours even in the face of some pretty extreme provocation at times. I'm moving house because their noise and the behaviour of their children, is intolerable. They incite the other kids in the street to behave badly, to the despair of their own parents. Two of the other mothers tackled NDN about her kids last week, to no avail.

[BigSandyBalls2015]

Blimey there's some miserable uptight people on here. The days are already getting shorter, and with our appalling weather, how many nights is it even possibly to play outside. Need to make the most of it when we can IMO.

And people talking and smoking outside is really not an issue, there was no loud music.

Ignore them OP, stop apologising.

My neighbours are very very quiet people, despite having kids, the house is always in darkness by 10pm, even at the weekend. However, we like to use our garden and have friends round until late and they've never complained.

[sharknad0]

My toddlers go to bed at 7 or 7.30pm, so it would annoy me if I had to keep their windows shut to try to hide the noise from next door until nearly 9.30pm! I do go to bed from time to time at 9pm when I am shattered, so would not be too please at all.

I wouldn't say anything however, BUT if my new neighbours had kept friends until 2am making noise in the garden, I would be very worried it's a common occurrence and would be complaining too, to make sure my new neighbours are aware of the problem and it doesn't carry on.

I don't let my own kids making any noise in the garden evenings or early morning even if we are outside putting laundry up etc... It's a detached house, but neighbours are entitled to a peaceful life too. It's so much more pleasant when everybody is considerate. We are quiet, and in return they don't make noise in the evenings either. Everybody is happy.

[carabos]

As a PP has said, they're trying to lay down the law as you're new. Don't yield because if you do, it will never end. Our neighbours came round to tell us exactly what was and wasn't going to be acceptable the night we moved in here. Needless to say it was all what we would be doing, not them. Just as well we ignored them as we've barely had an undisturbed night's sleep in 12 years with noise they make, and as their children have grown up it's got worse.

The kids noise is so bad now, summer and winter that we're doing the sensible thing and moving house. Kids will be noisy, dogs will be noisy. If you don't want that in your environment you move house because it is unreasonable to complain every verse end.

[Florrieboo]

How sad are people who don't like the noise of children having fun outside on a summer evening. YANBU. 8:45pm isn't that late. Even when I had small children I didn't expect the rest of the world to stop so my kids could sleep.

[pud1]

The puppy was not barking at all. I have not heard him bark yet. Dd was laughing. I was out there with her. She was not streaking or screaming. The most noise she was making was to tell me to watch what the puppy was doing.

[GnomeDePlume]

YANBU, Hidingtonothing is absolutely right. Be reasonable but dont be a pushover.

They are probably sensitive to any disturbance at the moment but the world does not revolve around them. Their 2 YO will soon enough be out making a noise in the evening.

There is always someone trying to sleep whatever time of day it is. The person on earlys/lates/nights, the babies and toddlers, the elderly, the poorly. If everyone thought they couldnt make a noise in case it was audible to their neighbours we would all be going round silent as monks and wearing soft slippers.

[Carriecakes80]

Its your garden, your child is entitled to play outside as long as you like!

[FoxyLoxy123]

How loudly was your DD playing? Next door's DD is 8 and her shrill little voice carries rather far, she's a squealer too. We've noticed Dad lets her do whatever whereas Mum tells her to keep a lid on it and stop squealing, you don't need to make that noise to play in the garden etc. Clearly some parents either don't realise how noisy their children are, or dare I say it, get so used to it they tune out. It depends entirely on how loud your DD was for me to know if YABU. We have air vents in all our rooms so sound comes in even if windows are shut. One of the neighbour's sons goes and chats to his girlfriend every night down the side of the house at 10.30 and it's all I can hear as I try to go to sleep.

[Binkybix]

The noise you've been making doesn't sound too bad. I think the problem was having the gathering so soon after moving in - they'll be assuming that it's going to be all the time and if they're anticipating having a new baby it's probably making them anxious.

Our neighbours did DIY until 11pm the night we moved in, and played really insanely loud house music at 3am a few weeks later. I feared the worst and was totally stressed but never had a problem in the couple of years since then.

Find a middle ground'

[BillSykesDog]

You've been there ten weeks. So far you've had a gathering which disturbed them until the early hours of the morning, let your kids play out until almost 9pm and got a yappy dog. I can understand why they're a bit worried TBH.

I think you're getting some very bad advice on here telling you to tell them they have to suck it up. That way lies a neighbour feud which can be really unpleasant. You'd do better to send friends to the bottom of the garden to smoke and compromise with playing out ending at 8pm. I really think a 6&8 year old would probably be best off in the house winding down for bed at that time anyway.