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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want my dc to stay little

70 replies

m0therofdragons · 07/07/2016 15:02

The world of fb has made me realise that I have a different opinion re babies. I don't think I'm really a baby person. I did like my own babies (obviously love them) then the toddler stage was bloody hard but also involved lots of laughs but now I'm seeing dc grow up (8 and 4) and love it. Each stage gets better. Yet every message on fb seems to be friends wishing their dc were still babies - I'm so done with that. I can't be the only mum who loves my dc not being so reliant and being able to have a full conversation with them.

I'm wondering if it's a family thing as my parents were saying their favourite part of being a parent was when db and I were teens.

Am I alone?

OP posts:
Binglesplodge · 07/07/2016 15:06

I don't think you're alone. My DS's first year was one long slog. His second has gone much faster and I'm loving the walking and talking. I like children much more and find them far easier once you can have a chat with them and leave the house without several tons of luggage. I'm not wishing his childhood away but I'm happy he's growing into a little boy instead of a baby.

MrsJoeyMaynard · 07/07/2016 15:09

Maybe a touch of rose tinted glasses?

Remembering the wonderful bits about their DCs babyhood clearly, while glossing over things like the frequent night wakings and, poonamis?

LaundryFairy · 07/07/2016 15:09

I agree wholeheartedly with you, OP - my DS is 13 and although I have always loved him, I have liked him as a person and enjoyed his company more with each passing year. But I have also heard plenty of people (including one sister-in-law) make the same comments you have heard about loving the baby year's best. Madness, I say.

imonaplane · 07/07/2016 15:09

My three are all adults now. For me this is the best time so far. We can be friends now as the parenting bit is done.

DeepFriedFlamingo · 07/07/2016 15:11

You're not alone OP I love seeing my babies grow and develop their own personalities, I didn't like the baby stage as I think babies are boring. My DS is learning to read and write and every day he amazes me. My DD is learning to speak and her new thing is high fives and open mouthed slobbery kisses.

Not wishing mine for their lives away but I can't wait for them to be adults to see how they've turned out

idontlikealdi · 07/07/2016 15:17

I'm with you op. Babies are, well, boring! I was desperate to go back to work when DTs turned one! Now they're 5 and just mini people I love just hanging out with them.

Xmasbaby11 · 07/07/2016 15:20

I agree. Although the baby phase is very short and the most precious as they are brand new and you cannot believe how beautiful they are. Mine are 2 and 4 and I wouldn't go back to the newborn phase if you paid me!

Ilovewillow · 07/07/2016 15:22

You are not alone! I love being able to talk to my children, have a discussion and teach them things! I have an inquisitive 8yr old and a 3 yr old heading on the same direction and they are much more fun to engage with than when they were very little!

HuskyLover1 · 07/07/2016 15:23

I don't get this view either.

Mine are now 19 yrs and almost 18yrs, and it's great. We all get on brilliantly, but they are now (mostly) self sufficient although I did help ds move in to his new student flat the other day and it almost killed me carrying box after box up four, yes four flights of stairs

Some of the women I know, have waited until their youngest is 17 and then started having babies again fuck that

TheOnlyPink · 07/07/2016 15:36

I fully agree with you. I hated when my children were babies, it felt like a trial I had to endure. From about 18 months on, it was so much better. They are now 9 and 4.5. The youngest is starting school in September, and it feels a little bittersweet, but more of a "hasn't time flown?" way than any longing to keep him a baby.
Each stage just keeps getting better, and I love seeing them develop their own ideas and personalities.

My dgmil told me, to be a good mum, you have to do yourself out of a job, and lots of mums struggle with that, with being needed less and less. I thought it was a great viewpoint!

CaptainCrunch · 07/07/2016 15:41

I couldn't agree with you more op. Mine are 19 and 15 now and it's the best it's ever been, each stage more fun and interesting than the one before. I can't relate to people who constantly hark back.

Pootles2010 · 07/07/2016 15:48

Completely agree! DS is a delight now he's 6, lots of fun, we have funny little chats, he can 'do' so much more.

I also think (without being too preachy/worthy) that its a wonderful thing to watch them grow up - and the alternative doesn't bear thinking about.

Although I'm about to have my second - must be mad!

ProfYaffle · 07/07/2016 15:49

Yep, I'm the same. Mine are 9 and 12, love them growing up and seeing what each new stage brings. I remember someone saying to me 'childhood is a long series of goodbyes' and I was like Confused 'surely it's a long series of hellos?'

Levatrice · 07/07/2016 15:51

Totally agree cant wait till mine are older!! (4&5)

MrsDoylesTeaParty · 07/07/2016 15:53

YANBU, I am loving the baby and toddler stages but can't wait for each stage to come. Who would want them to stay as babies forever?

MissHooliesCardigan · 07/07/2016 15:55

I have liked most ages except the toddler stage. So far I've been incredibly lucky with DS1 (16) and DD (13) as they've been pretty good teenagers. My friend's 15 year old DD has been an utter nightmare for the last 3 years- violent outbursts, smashing things, stealing and being totally foul to my friend and her dad. She called her an ugly old cunt the other day. My friend does get quite wistful about how she used to be when she was little and I totally understand.
I do sometimes miss those heart melting moments you get with small children when they plant a big slobbery kiss on you or say 'I wuv you mummy' but I definitely don't miss the drudgery and lack of sleep.

formerbabe · 07/07/2016 15:58

Babies and toddlers are exhausting. ..I can't imagine why anyone would wish endless sleepless nights, nappies, mess, baby food on themselves for the rest of eternity.

TallGreenLamp · 07/07/2016 15:59

YANBU. My DS is seven now and I wouldn't go back even a year. He has a proper little personality now and is very independant. I enjoy "hanging out" with him and just being able to chat and have a conversation, watch movies, enjoy music etc than I ever enjoyed playing with him when he was small.

Everyone is different, I know my friends wish their little ones would jist stop growing but I'm the polar opposite.

roundandroundthehouses · 07/07/2016 16:01

MissHoolie I've taken the opposite approach to your friend. Going through hell with a 14 year old just now, but harking back is the last thing I'd want to do. What's sustaining me is the thought that we must be at least part way through this stage, not the idea that we could still have it all in front of us!

WhooooAmI24601 · 07/07/2016 16:04

Not at all BU, I have a 10 and 5 year old and love them at these ages; we have no baby tat to lug about with us, I rarely have a bad night with them, they can play together without anyone falling into/out of things and I rarely get vomited on. In the big scheme of things, it's pretty good.

happypoobum · 07/07/2016 16:04

I sailed through the baby and toddler stages. It isn't just rose tinted hindsight or whatever, I can remember at the time wondering why my friends were all moaning when I really had no problems. Both DC EBF easily, both slept well, neither had teething problems etc etc.

Now they are teenagers it is HELL!!!!!

LaContessaDiPlump · 07/07/2016 16:07

I hated baby/toddler days. DS2 is starting school next Sept and I cannot bloody wait!

Some woman once said to me, wistfully, that 'They're never properly yours again after they go to school.' I'd had DS1 5 weeks previously and was Confused at the thought of anyone actually enjoying this.....

CalmDownBeyonce · 07/07/2016 16:08

I miss my DS being immobile and being able to put him down somewhere and him staying there, but otherwise I'm loving the little person he's becoming (he's 2y5m) and enjoying this stage apart from the bloody tantrums and looking forward to what's to come rather than missing what was. I'm odd though and don't fancy any more and every time I see someone with a baby I just feel glad that it's over for me!

formerbabe · 07/07/2016 16:15

Some of the women I know, have waited until their youngest is 17 and then started having babies again

I know women like this! I wish I could say "but you were nearly free!!"

StillMedusa · 07/07/2016 16:29

Not at all unreasonable :)
Loved my kids (of course) when they were little, but i enjoy them sooooo much now they are adults (19,22,23,24) We are equals and friends!