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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Have I overstepped the mark with this very personal present?

111 replies

JasmineBuckles · 06/07/2016 17:07

I've been with my boyfriend for about a year, we have a really great relationship, live together, talking about kids etc.

His dad died about 5 years ago, and the only things he's got of his dad's are 4 ties from the 70's. Everything else his dad's second wife got.

He showed me these ties about 6 months ago, talked about framing them, then put them back in a plastic bag in a box of junk where they've been ever since.

Today I got them out in secret and took them to a specialist framers for unusual items, put them into pairs and chose mounts and frames and paid for them up front. They'll tie them in Windsor knots and pin them all nicely, they've done sashes and medals for me in the past.

We have really similar taste, so I know he will like what I've chosen, it goes with the house etc but now I'm panicking in case I've done something that is too personal, or overstepped the mark. I deliberately left it six months in case he wanted to do it himself, but he hasn't and I thought I'd surprise him.

Have I been unreasonable in taking it upon myself to do this really personal thing?

OP posts:
MiniCooperLover · 08/07/2016 20:14

Well done OP, I think he'll love it. He's already mentioned he'd like to do similar so it's not a shocking idea. I think he'll be really pleased.

Hectorama · 08/07/2016 20:56

I don't know how your boyfriend would feel but i don't see why he would be offended or anything. I think that its a lovely gift to give someone. I hope he likes it.

Knittedfrog · 13/07/2016 19:45

Have you given it to him yet?

JasmineBuckles · 14/07/2016 07:41

I gave them to him last night!

He cried, I cried, but he loved them. He said his dad would have loved the idea, that it was like having him here, then when we'd stopped crying he made me hold them up on various walls all round the house to see where he wanted them to go.

One is going in the kitchen, one in the lounge. He is really happy with them, he keeps thanking me, and telling me he loves me.

I am relieved tbh, I had a wobble before I gave them to him. I had to have a glass of wine first!

OP posts:
Coconutty · 14/07/2016 07:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EreniTheFrog · 14/07/2016 07:53

So glad he was pleased.

I think it was a wonderful gesture.

ThatsMyStapler · 14/07/2016 07:55

aw, i was following this from last week - so pleased he liked them

it was so thoughtful of you x

Aeroflotgirl · 14/07/2016 07:55

How sad your dp has only got those ties to remember his dad by, very sweet of you. I think he will be really happy.

Aeroflotgirl · 14/07/2016 07:56

Ahhh just read your update, I am glad he loved them.

penguinplease · 14/07/2016 07:59

Nice update. Thanks op, was wondering what had happened.

BillyDaveysDaughter · 14/07/2016 08:00

That's lovely. Sniffle. Flowers

PotOfYoghurt · 14/07/2016 08:01

Oh how lovely! Well done you.

Donthate · 14/07/2016 08:02

Flowers such a thoughtful gift. Well done OP

AristotlesTrousers · 14/07/2016 08:04

Oh, I'm so pleased he loved them! Smile

AsteroidB314 · 14/07/2016 08:06

phew! glad he liked it.

Loubylouchirino · 14/07/2016 08:07

Oh wow, that is lovely. A perfect idea and you're obviously very much on the same wavelength to get it so spot on for him and his reaction. I 'got something in my eye' reading your update Smile

Itsaplayonwords · 14/07/2016 08:12

I'm so pleased he loved them. It's an incredibly thoughtful gift and you've obviously spent a lot of time getting it just right too.

Queenbean · 14/07/2016 08:19

What a lovely update!! So glad he loved them. You sound like you have a great relationship, so nice to read somethings happy on here Flowers

HandsomeGroomGiveHerRoom · 14/07/2016 08:20

Ah, that's great. Bit concerned about one going in the kitchen though - might it get damaged by steam, oily cooking vapour or whatnot?

Glitterspy · 14/07/2016 08:22

Amazing gift! Can I ask where you got this done, I'm looking for something exactly like this for my husband's late DF's ties.

GinThief · 14/07/2016 08:31

Lovely gift, well done OP Flowers

Evergreen17 · 14/07/2016 08:33

Very thoughtful and brave move at the same time.
Lovely Smile
Well done OP!

ALemonyPea · 14/07/2016 08:34

Phew! Glad he likes them.

JasmineBuckles · 14/07/2016 08:35

I'm in Cheshire, I got them done at Alan F Holmes Art Services in Chelford, but any decent bespoke framers would do it I think.

OP posts:
Evergreen17 · 14/07/2016 08:35

Damn OP! Now I am crying Hmm