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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask how many of you would consider ending your lives at Dignitas or a similar clinic when you are elderly?

214 replies

signedsealeddelivered · 05/07/2016 22:17

I've seen old age and I don't like the look of it. My family, genetically, all die of the same thing and it is not a pleasant death. It is a slow, suffering, confusing one where the mind and the body are both affected. I realise not everybody's experience is like this, but just wondered if these thoughts enter other people's heads too?

I don't see old age as pleasant (I mean 80--85+) Your partner is likely to die before you if you're a woman and you're straight, your friends die, your children have their own lives and you have very little to give them apart from financially (which you could also do via an inheritance.) You're hardly physically up for childcare of Grandchildren or extensive travel. If you have a dog or a pet, it's difficult to walk it or care for it. There are often a few chronic health problems if not a few serious health problems too. Illnesses hit you harder, falls hit you harder. You often stop driving and lose your freedom. There's also confusion, memory loss, muddling things up. Then there's the physical, emotional or financial burden you would potentially put on your family if you had to go into a home or receive care.

This is not a state I'd want to live in while the essentials of my body continued to tick over, and I'd rather take matters into my own hands and decide when I pass away.

I'm just wondering if this is a common thought amongst others too?

OP posts:
Haggisfish · 05/07/2016 22:24

I do think about this but I just don't think I would actually be able to go through with it.

PuntasticUsername · 05/07/2016 22:24

Yeah, I would consider it. I'm in my 30s now so hopefully I've still got a good few years before it becomes in any way pressing, and obviously I have no idea how I am likely to feel about it by then, but just speaking now - yes, I'd consider taking the option of ending my own life at the time and in the manner of my own choosing, rather than living on for several more years with a very poor quality of life.

Haggisfish · 05/07/2016 22:25

I do wonder what people who just do not have enough money to survive will do.

Savagebeauty · 05/07/2016 22:26

I will do it.

IdaDown · 05/07/2016 22:27

Depends on my state of health.

Slow steady age decline - proberbly not.

Painful degenerative disease/Alzheimer's or similar - proberbly yes.

Hopefully the UK changes it's laws on assisted suicide. The thought of having to cope with a terminal illness and planning 'a weekend away' is truly awful.

My body, my choice.

Ohnowattsthis · 05/07/2016 22:28

I'm up for it

BarmySmarmy · 05/07/2016 22:29

Me too.

justaweeone · 05/07/2016 22:30

Yes I would

specialsubject · 05/07/2016 22:30

I would also hope for a law change so I do not have to suffer or hang around as a mindless scared wreck. Or for anyone I love to have to do that .

May it not happen - but if it does, don't treat me worse than a dog.

Numberoneisgone · 05/07/2016 22:30

Yes I would. After seeing a number of relatives pass away in a less than favourable manner for a progressive illness I think I would prefer to go at a time of my choosing. I really wish euthanasia was possible around here although I understand the arguments against it.

VimFuego101 · 05/07/2016 22:30

I would do it if I found out I had Alzheimer's or a similar disease where your mind goes... Can't imagine how terrifying that must be for both the sufferer and their family having to watch the decline.

annandale · 05/07/2016 22:31

I'm potentially up for it but obviously hope I would never reach the point where I thought 'ok now'.

In my experience (I work with a lot of seriously ill people well into their 90s and 100s, I think of early 80s as relatively young) people cling to life like you would not believe - I have a feeling i would probably be like that.

WordGetsAround · 05/07/2016 22:31

I wouldn't go abroad, but I'd definitely take an overdose of something if my quality of life was horrific.

Tessticklesyourfancy · 05/07/2016 22:31

My dad has Alzheimer's, he ended up being sectioned last year, it was horrendous and although he's in a good care home now he would be deveestated if he knew the things he has done, all because of this disease. I would chose dignitas if it was my prognosis. I wouldn't for my dad, I don't have the right to decide on anyone else's fate but for myself, definitely.

minipie · 05/07/2016 22:32

I would certainly like the option. Roll on a law change.

However I don't think I can tell how I'll feel until I'm in that position. After all there are many many people (old and young) living with very debilitating health conditions who still find life worth living.

fakenamefornow · 05/07/2016 22:32

I would.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 05/07/2016 22:33

Yes. In a heartbeat.

Babyroobs · 05/07/2016 22:34

I would definately consider it if I got something like Motor neurone disease or a cancer which I knew would end in a particulalry painful death.

TheWhompingWilly · 05/07/2016 22:34

I definitely would if terminally ill and likely to suffer. I'm currently watching a family member die of brain cancer and it's utterly heart-breaking. He has absolutely no quality of life, can't move, has been bedbound for months, and it's only going to get worse as his memory is going and it's starting to affect his sight. He would end it tomorrow if he could and I would want to in a similar situation

Modwolvesrock · 05/07/2016 22:34

I have MS and intend to travel to dignitas. I'd be there next week if I didn't have dh, ds and dd to consider.
I wish we could all just be more honest about the realities of old age - it can be utterly horrible for many people. A quick, painless end is surely preferable to years of suffering (as a choice, obviously).

DancingDinosaur · 05/07/2016 22:35

I'd like to have the choice, depending on how bad things had got.

ToffeePenny · 05/07/2016 22:35

Absolutely. After watching my mother's end there is no doubt in my mind.

signedsealeddelivered · 05/07/2016 22:35

Haggisfish Tue 05-Jul-16 22:25:05
I do wonder what people who just do not have enough money to survive will do.

I think that if anyone was determined to do it and anxious enough about the future, they would put a small amount aside to save for it over years.

OP posts:
ExtraHotLatteToGo · 05/07/2016 22:35

I think it should be an available option, but that it needs VERY strict controls.

However, (selfishly) I'd hate anyone I love to do it & I couldn't do it myself.

IonaNE · 05/07/2016 22:36

No. I'm a Catholic, I will take what God sends (I hope). No matter how disabled I am, I can always pray for others and offer things for them, so I will never feel useless.

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