More of a WWYD - unbelievably selfish 6yr old

[PetitPoisPants]

I'm out of my depth with my 6 year old dd behaviour and really need some advice

I love her to bits but she is becoming very selfish and rude and displaying "unlikeable" behaviour . I don't know how to handle it .

I know she sees my frustration when she acts this way and I try to praise even the tiniest good thing she does , but it's never enough for her - she always wants more . Of everything !

Examples :
I had surgery last week and I use crutches at the minute . On the way to school today I asked her to carry her own bag (I usually do it as she likes to run) . She huffed and puffed , spoke to me rudely , complained the whole short walk there and asked why she had to do everything

I explained that as I was poorly at the minute, she needed to help .

She has a real problem with sharing - toys and food mainly . Her little sister always offers her food but dd1 refuses to do the same .

If her sister comes out of school with a biscuit she's baked DD1 is in her face telling her if she doesn't half it she won't ever be her friend again

As dd1 won't share , it got to the point I told dd2 not to bother sharing either .

Both girls had a packet of crisps - we have been trying to encourage dd1 to offer things to other people (dd2 does this naturally) . Dd1 offered her sister and her dad a crisp - both took one .

Dd2 then offered dd1 a crisp - who sneakily took two then denied it and finally admitted she did because she had "lost two" and it wasn't fair !

She's starting to lie about silly things .

I thought she might need some one to one attention . Dd1 loves colouring. I told her I was ordering myself some adult colouring books and I'd love it if we could colour them in together . She was pleased - until she asked if the colouring books could be both of ours .

I explained they were mine but I'd love to share them with her and she can help me anytime . No. She wasn't happy - she wanted them to be hers too.

She also complained that I'm important and everyone is looking after me just because I've had surgery .

Her behaviour is exasperating and it goes on and on and on over every little thing .

Please help !

Miscellaneous thank you for your much appreciated input too

I agree about not using the younger one as an example , I don't do that - although I'm guilty of doing it on very rare occasions (and I've always back tracked and heaped on praise for dd1).

I'll come back and read the rest once I've sorted bedtime

I despair of my selfish five year old. He screams blue murder at any suggestion of sharing his own stuff, then howls at the injustice of others preferring not to share with him. I'm hoping he grows out of it. With food, I know now that if I want a lick of his ice cream, I have to make it a condition before agreeing to buy it. Once I've said yes, I have no bargaining power.

Tell her to stop being a brat when she's being a brat and thank her for being kind and sharing when she does- try to link it in her mind with being 'grown up and sensible' and 'a big girl'

She's 6- it'll pass (providing her need are being met and she has some things that are just hers) and it's probably a tired girl end of term attention seeking thing.
Good luck!