To be a bit sad that as soon as DS is in bed DP is straight on the computer?

[abbinobb]

Pretty much every night, as soon as DS is in bed DP starts gaming and does that pretty much all night so doesn't speak to me at all.
I think it's a bit...rude? unsociable? or something like that i can't quite put my finger on it but aibu to be upset that this is pretty much every night?
We seem to spend no time together talking or even just watching the same thing on TV then at least you're spending time together, can talk about it etc.
If i mention it he says i'm not his mum and that i'm telling him what to do
It's like i have to beg for my own boyfriend to want to send time with me, and i fi did that it would be weird anyway i'd just feel like he'd rather be doing something else.

For context, he does help pretty fairly with DS and housework and we both work (him 4 days, me 3, usually different days to eachother so don't see a lot of eachother during the day)

It doesn't feel very..relationshippy, more flate-matey at the moment to me.

OP please don't beat yourself up about it. You've tried with him. The reality is he's uncaring and abusive, both to you and his own very small DS. He doesn't want to change and just wants to shut you up if you try and discuss things.
Tell him to go calmly, probably when DS is at nursery or something. If he gets aggressive call the police.
He can still see his DS and may be a better dad that way.
I left my DS dad when he was five months. It was stressful as he initially refused to move out and I had to get police involved. I am so glad I did it. DS was fine, they have a good relationship nurtured over the years, and my years as a single parent with other single parent friends were actually brilliant. I have had a new partner for years, but the mums I know who stayed single all have very good quality lives with the DCs, work and social life. They are fine.
Anyway sorry to bang on but your partner is a wrong 'un and I want you to know that life will be so much better without him.

You're not stupid at all, OP.

I left my ex-H when I was 24. He was my first boyfriend and had a violent temper which only emerged after marriage. He was moody and would shout, but that escalated to violence once he thought he "had me".

I didn't know how to leave. Most of my family had moved abroad and I had a very non-supportive toxic mother.

One day, I was considering suicide as a way out of the relationship and I frightened myself. I couldn't believe I was staying in a relationship that was making me suicidal. I found the courage somehow and never looked back. I wish I'd had the internet in those days. It would have been an amazing resource for support.

I've never heard of a situation like this where the guy changed for the better. It always, always, always escalates. He doesn't see a problem, so there's nothing to work with. Even if things stayed as they are, it's a truly miserable situation for you and your little boy.

This man does not deserve you. Be strong!

When he lives with his dm he can take ds around there and you can have a life. He is useless as he is but that way he can be a bit useful. It might make him man up a bit for the sake of your ds. He might focus a bit on him when you're not there so you're ds will benefit from that. He sounds so much more immature than you that it's like having a relationship with a teenager. You can do this. You won't know yourself as that constant resentment will only fry your head. Take control. You will feel so much more powerful and happier.

I've been struggling with something very similar recently. I sat my OH down and told him exactly what I was prepared to accept (gaming wise) and that if that wasn't something he felt he could do then that was totally his choice to make but I would be leaving. At first he said he felt I was being unfair and uncompromising but once I explained that I wasn't forcing into anything, simply stating what I was prepared to accept in a relationship I think it finally clicked. Someone said to me that I wouldn't accept him going to the pub every night so why should I accept this and it was very true.

I hope I've made sense. You have my true sympathy, this sort of behaviour can leave you feeling like the person who is meant to love you doesn't even like you any more. It totally chips away at your self confidence. You deserve better and either he's prepared to be better or you'll find better elsewhere