WIBU to cancel the school summer fete?

[Narnia72]

I'm on the PFA committee (standing down at the next AGM as I can't believe how utterly soul draining it is).

This committee have done 2 big events now (as well as numerous little events). Big summer fair last year and Christmas fair last Christmas. Both well received, lots of people came, and enthusiastic feedback. We also raised lots of money for the school. However, each time we've had to go round the playground "persuading" people to help. It's such hard work. We've always ended up with a full team though and people have said they've enjoyed being involved.

This year we haven't had time to do the playground trawl, and so used parentmail and social media, giving parents text, email and fb options to reply. We have 17 people helping...

It's not enough. We have cancelled lots of stalls, and got it down to the bare minimum. If we dragoon our OHs in and spend 12 hours there setting up, running something and doing the clear up, we might just get away with it. But I don't want to.

I feel we should take the message the parents are giving us. The Head wants us to run it. There is a sponsored event and the children are showcasing various things they've learned in school clubs. She feels they will be disappointed. The rest of the committee are undecided.

2 parents have organised parties (one a whole class!) at the time of the event. Don't know whether deliberately or stupidly (don't know either of the parents involved to talk to). A whole group of parents who have helped historically are going away for the weekend (not together - lots of different events/weddings etc)

No-one seems that interested or bothered. I feel like we're flogging a dead horse, and if we cancel it we'll find out what people's true feelings are by their reactions. I don't want to spend this whole week running around trying to sort stuff.

I don't want this to turn into a PFA bashing thread. I know there are good and bad ones. Ours is a lovely friendly committee, and we've always been welcoming (anyone who's volunteered has been snapped up, we publicise our meetings and minutes, everyone is invited). We still get accused of cliques... It's such a poisoned chalice. WSWD?

Our PTA is mainly working parents - so offer support to the school this route instead and maintain contact with the school as not doing drop-off etc.We have very small committee and just sign people up per event rather than a whole year commitment.

We did cancel the big biannual event this year and sent a lost £x letter......will see where it leads next year. The summer fete was the next event and great though!

Mairead

it comes down to the fact that there are very few families who aren't "from here" so we don't have extended family around.

It's a shame, I'm very much a "join in and help" kind of person so I consider it their loss

pleasehold, I am that in year admission newbie and totally understand "unwelcoming, unhelpful and cold. Tried to make an effort on sports day and approached them but they moved away. Then on Thirs tjey asked if I could help on Friday. Er, no, you couldn't give me the time of day.

The 4 person organising committee have however said never again ... we are all standing down

I only hope they mean it, smellyboot; I've sometimes found that if you threaten to cancel something, listen to the "uproar" and then find a way of doing it anyway, it can make people even less likely to help in future

As in "There you are you see, they didn't really need us after all"

I just helped out at our fair on Saturday but my slot was for 1.5 hrs - I was on the bouncy castle - ended up abandoned there for just over 4 hours - not one organiser came to relieve me or even offer a wee break or a drink. I only got away when the fair finished. I will never volunteer again except for the very last hour.

dinosaur, yes, I did say it was the extreme end. We are a 3 class school, although we desperately need to expand due to another nearby school closing. For the last 3 intakes they've exceeded PAN and have declined pupils on appeal.

whois to be fair to our pta - a number of whom are also on the governing body and parish council, they have to completely fund the school swimming pool. Before last summer that meant raising £16,000 in an academic year (sept-July) to replace the old one. It was done and it was bloody hard work. There was a lot of pleasing residents to join in with fetes etc. Now it needs a new roof, changing rooms etc. And then there's the general maintenance on top - cleaning, chemicals etc.

So in the grand scheme of things, I don't object too loudly. However, when in the space of a couple of weeks we have had two requests for small change - cash bag and smartie tube to fill, school fete and a request for a tombola prize in lieu of cash for non uniform day (actually quite inventive and appreciated by me who stock piles unwanted gifts for tombola) plus the school has decided to change their uniform and you can only get certain things at great expense (compared to my usual supermarket) via the school...

Well yes, I do think some schools, mostly small ones, have a cheek expecting parents to give both time and money.

Our school has also abandoned the school fete. Not had one for a few years. We do have an end of year bbq on the school field, this is a great get together with games and bouncy castle etc. But it's easier to organise. I must admit I don't usually volunteer but I always make cakes etc. I usually help clear away after or beforehand. I don't go to the pta meetings as my OH works late and I have the children.

mw63 In the nicest way I am glad I am not the only person to feel it. It is truly crap isn't it? When your dc start in reception everyone is kind of in it together. As an in year newbie it can be horrendous. It doesn't have to be though. Out of 5 primary schools my (4) dc have attended only 1 has been unwelcoming - they are the school who struggle to get volunteers.

I am a 'lazy' mum. I probably spend one day a month with dh & ds. I am not going to take time off to help at fetes etc. I'll buy raffle tickets etc but give my time? No.
I hate the whole school gate thing when I do it,I'm not there often enough to build friendships. Most of the other mums either are sahm,work very part time or do the mlm stuff. I find the never ending requests for cakes/outfits for dress up days/forest school/prizes for the fetes/photos etc almost a full time job & I only have one dc. All the mums moan it's too much. We live in a lovely area & I think anyone who finds it hard to keep up would never say. I've offered to help at the school disco once & was told they were overrun with mums wanting to help.
I appreciate some parents are very hands on at school, I will chuck money at it.

Our school has looked for someone from each class to be the PTA contact person. This has really helped. The PTA lead can get the class reps to put the word out, and people are more likely to help out another parent in the class that they know well.

ice but there has to be room for your best way (ie to chuck money at it) and my best way (to try and get involved) then everyone well most people will be happy - so why are so many pta's getting it so wrong?

I like the Canada policy, as it would really make a difference to the school, if every family did something each year to help. It must be quite powerful to have that much (wo)/manpower.

Theres about 15 families that contribute to our PTA. Then another approx 15 who will volunteer... the other 100 can be quite entitled, sometimes they seem to see the PTA as an annoyance and don't even bother coming to events. This is despite their children; playing daily on the play equipment that PTA funded, reading the books the PTA funded, sitting under the roof the PTA fixed with funding, etc... The 15 on the PTA who do the majority of the work really aren't the type who are after a medal/praise. Think they just want a bit of help occasionally and not have people run away avoid them in the playground.

Don't cancel. We try not to threaten, as we like to stay positive, but when we have it's worked quite well: "we'll have to cancel x, y, z stalls if we don't get xxx people". We run 3 major events, summer, christmas, fireworks plus quiz nights, bake-offs etc with 980 kids which is a lot of potential parents/carers but still struggle as we need up to 100 volunteers for the big events. But they are very important events for the kids and the money raised. You cannot beat nagging at the school gates, promoting exactly what the money buys, even getting the head to sign up volunteers. Build traditions - the teachers do the bar, the governors do tea & cakes, kids do beauty zone, PTA class rep system gives us a direct to parents' inbox approach, we have a separate communications role in the committee etc. We killed tokens as that's too many extra people to sign up as token sellers. But what really kills me is when we pull it all together and then get complaints from people who have done NOTHING! But we keep going... Got to be positive.

This might be a huge coincidence but my children's fete is this weekend and I have "stupidly" organised my son's party on the same day (I also know there is another party that day also).
And we have received a school text today explaining they are desperate for help.
Please be reassured arranging a whole class party on same day (only day I could do before they break up for summer) was not 'deliberate' (although it does finish before the fete starts and is local so can't see it being a huge issue).
I really do hope you get enough help, I will even sign up!

Ours went to a small primary which had a "monster" summer fair. £10k up and I'm going back ten years. I suggested one year that each family donate £20 per child 210 x 40 = £4,000 and carry on with the balloons/raffle etc which were the big ticket earners.

Seemed a good deal to me but it went down like a lead balloon.

Try what other people have suggested, put out messages saying that it will be cancelled if you don't get more helpers. But be absolutely specific about what you need, not just a vague 'people to help please'. For example, 'we need at least 8 people to come in the morning for carting tables around, we need 3 people taking money on the gate from 2-4pm, we need 6 people to man the tea stall from 2-4pm, we need 6 dozen buns'. Etc, etc. That way people know what is required and what time, and might feel more confident about coming forward. Personally I won't volunteer for this sort of stuff. When dD started preschool I was encouraged to help fund raising and told what a great fun way of getting to know other parents it was. I plucked up my courage and put my name down for an Easter fare. I wasn't contacted til about a week before, certainly not invited to the fun filled planning evenings with wine I was told about! I was given my job, I turned up and did it and never got a goodbye or thank you from the other parents. When dD went to school I filled in PTA forms saying I was willing to help out if asked, never got asked. Offered to help at a school disco when they were calling for helpers, never got a response. So now we support fundraisers but I won't be offering to help again. To be perfectly honest, I find the whole fundraising thing a pain. When I was at school in Ireland there was a 'voluntary contribution' where your parents wrote a cheque at the start of the year for a suggested amount (but if you were not able to pay you didn't have to). I would prefer to do that now, than to be endlessly bothered with making buns, paying to send dD to school in her clothes, trudging along to awful 'pamper evenings', and all the rest of it.

The best fund raisers are non school uniform days, School disco and sponsored events.

I've just taken on the role of Chair of our PTA, having been Vice Chair for 4 years. The previous chair coordinated most of the events and I've said I wont be doing that; that if we don't get a volunteer to lead a particular event then it wont happen. I'm not going to be popular but its not fair to expect 4 people on the committee out of a school of 200 families (300 pupils) to do all the work.

Early evening on a Saturday is a rubbish time for a school fete imho. Unless you're serving wine?

I hate this time of year. I work full time in a school myself and it's hectic in my own school with various activities and events, plus deadlines to meet before school breaks up. Plus I have 2 kids each in separate schools with their own schedule of events. And a DH who works about 60 hrs a week so is no help. On top of that this year there is an open evening at local secondaries each week now, also to make time for. We don't have a cleaner or home shopping delivery or a gardener, so a lot of my spare time is taken up with boring life shit. It's all I can do to make sure my kids' school trip payments are paid on time, I've remembered to buy a few cakes and a bottle of wine and some toiletries to chuck at one of the fetes, I've arranged to fit in end of year shows and prize giving at all 3 schools etc etc. I will turn up at the youngest's Fayre this week and dislike nearly every minute of it cos I'm bloody exhausted on a Friday night and all I want to do is sit down with a glass of wine and switch my brain off, away from other people wanting things of me. I will go, for my child's sake, and don't resent the money it will cost at all, but I won't enjoy it. As for actually volunteering, The thought of getting home from work after only a 20 min break for lunch all day, going straight out again after just having time to go to be toilet, then manning a stall for 3 hours, makes me shudder. I don't think that makes me lazy. It makes me a human being. I will go along but I don't want to. I don't care that it's only twice a year. I would much rather donate a set amount each year as they do in secondary schools, to raise this sort of money than have the hassle of big events like the school xmas and summer fayres.

Some of the ideas sound nice: family bbq with games etc. Or getting the kids to run stalks - they would love that. But honestly, the days when there was only one full time working parent in a household, and the other parent (usually the mum, let's face it) had time to get involved with this stuff, are long gone.

There are people moaning on here saying "I work full time and STILL do this otherwise it wouldn't happen. No-one else offers." Seriously, don't do it. Stop it. Give yourself a break, and lose the guilt. Think of a less time-consuming way to raise money if you still want to be involved in PTA activity. As for expecting teachers to help out these days. Words fail me. They do at my youngest's school but they look bloody exhausted and I'm sure it's not done through choice. Which begs the question, why are these events run at all?

It's probably been said before but if not - we have about 6 major workers on our Friends and 30 active members altogether from a school with 300 pupils! We are all pretty tired out by the Summer Term - so now we (the Friends) do the refreshments (including the candy floss machine - a total money maker), the shopping (for prizes & supplies). Then each teacher / class is responsible for a stall - they get the bits for it, set it up & staff it - some involve parents (or Year 5/6 kids) & some just spend 4 hours on their stall - it's entirely up to them. No class response - then that stall doesn't run. The Friends just produce the list of stalls & the staff have to choose which stall they want. We offer £25 to the stall / class that raises the most money during the event.

Wow! I am in charge of our schools Summer Fair. We make each class run a stall and find it it easier to get help that way via the class reps. We must be very lucky as we have a Christmas Fair, Summer Fair and Easer fair ontop of the childrens events.
It is a thankless task at times HOWEVER I feel that when the children get the benefits it worth it!

Cancel - Honesty that's the only way to get the message across . I feel for the PTA it's hard work and it only 1 year X

stopfuckingshoutingatme - your name stands out to me. Do you have a 4 year old? ;)

Puzzle - in answer to your comment. We are all (4) standing down for a number of reasons. We have all pondered the question of 'one more year'. We all have our own reasons for it, but the hassle getting volunteers to give one hour for one event has been the death knell for us all.
That and the patronising comments for me. As a team we have done lots more than run events as we are always accessible and well used for parent queries and advice, assisting at school events, new parent welcome events etc
I am putting my own family, work and other commitments first now instead of giving it all to others.