WIBU to cancel the school summer fete?

[Narnia72]

I'm on the PFA committee (standing down at the next AGM as I can't believe how utterly soul draining it is).

This committee have done 2 big events now (as well as numerous little events). Big summer fair last year and Christmas fair last Christmas. Both well received, lots of people came, and enthusiastic feedback. We also raised lots of money for the school. However, each time we've had to go round the playground "persuading" people to help. It's such hard work. We've always ended up with a full team though and people have said they've enjoyed being involved.

This year we haven't had time to do the playground trawl, and so used parentmail and social media, giving parents text, email and fb options to reply. We have 17 people helping...

It's not enough. We have cancelled lots of stalls, and got it down to the bare minimum. If we dragoon our OHs in and spend 12 hours there setting up, running something and doing the clear up, we might just get away with it. But I don't want to.

I feel we should take the message the parents are giving us. The Head wants us to run it. There is a sponsored event and the children are showcasing various things they've learned in school clubs. She feels they will be disappointed. The rest of the committee are undecided.

2 parents have organised parties (one a whole class!) at the time of the event. Don't know whether deliberately or stupidly (don't know either of the parents involved to talk to). A whole group of parents who have helped historically are going away for the weekend (not together - lots of different events/weddings etc)

No-one seems that interested or bothered. I feel like we're flogging a dead horse, and if we cancel it we'll find out what people's true feelings are by their reactions. I don't want to spend this whole week running around trying to sort stuff.

I don't want this to turn into a PFA bashing thread. I know there are good and bad ones. Ours is a lovely friendly committee, and we've always been welcoming (anyone who's volunteered has been snapped up, we publicise our meetings and minutes, everyone is invited). We still get accused of cliques... It's such a poisoned chalice. WSWD?

What's a cake walk??

Is that 17 including or excluding committee members?? If we had 17 patents offer to help our big events we would be over the moon! We are a school of 800, with 10 parentsvregularly helping out and about 5 extras when we put out a parentmail!!! 17 + OH's is bloody amazing!!!

Stinkerbelle37 This you tube video shows how to put on a cake walk... trust me once the kids get the hang of it everyone was wanting a go, plus some schools just do a cupcake as a prize so its even easier to make money.

Our school has the same issue. Over 470 families and yet only 15 volunteers. We threatened to cancel and there was uproar. Event raises £3.5k to play for extra resources. Everyone wants the extra resources. Everyone wants the playground equipment, sports equipment, sports kits, music provision, iPads etc
We had to individually text anyone we had a number for, to ask them personally. We then got quite a lot more to do one hour on the day. That was all we asked for. No on going commitment.
Almighty PITA and expensive for us to do at our own expense, but the event will run. We will raise £3.5k and pay for stuff.
The 4 person organising committee have however said never again as it's a huge amount of work for those who do it when no one else will help.
There will sadly be no PTA next year as we are all standing down.
We all work and have other volunteer stuff too. We all have kids and parents to look after too (literally)
The worst things for me recently have been people being patronising and saying direct to me 'you are soooo good to do all this for everyone, I wouldn't do it', or
'oh you can't give up organising stuff now, we need you to do it all for us',
Or 'I don't know how you have time, you are so busy'
They clearly think I am a total loser with nothing better to do with my time.
The other is 'oh I'm not sure we'll come if it rains - we might want to stay at home' . Or.. ' I don't like the PTA, I don't get it'
I've even had 'oh people think you are clicky' (to my face) which is rubbish as I never see the other PTA people other than to organise stuff. Kids in different year groups etc

We had this problem at our school.

We changed the fete to a small scale affair, we called it "Summer Fun" and it was just an hour and a half after the last school day.

So many (non helping) people said "such a shame!", but we did the same again next year and explained we just did not have the helpers to run anything bigger.

Then some people stepped up, and now it's a big event again with lots of helpers.

Sometimes you just have to show people the consequence of their actions (or non-actions )

So I would downscale the event. Or even cancel. but with 17 helpers you should be able to get something going.

Good luck! It is a thankless task, youngest in y6 now so I am done with it FOREVERRRRRRRRRR

situations like mine? may be in your school that works fine, but in ours no-one would and there's an expectation that we all have family members to look after the kids for us (nope!)

Unfortunately its the same attitude over here in Canada too. Our school now has a policy that you MUST do 10 hours volunteering at the school, if you don't you must pay $150

Cancel it.

I've even had people say to me 'I don't like PTA type people / I don't know the PTA so I don't volunteer'... Whilst I am selling them a raffle ticket.
We do it because we want the kids to have fun events 3x year.

Whenever we've been asked to volunteer to help run events, it's been in 1 hour chunks eg an hour directly before to set up or afterwards to clear up, an hour manning a stall etc. Much more manageable and means parents can also spend time with their kids enjoying the fair - I think a lot of people are put off at the idea they'll be tied to a stall for three hours without seeing any of the fun.

At my daughter's current school, we're rarely asked to volunteer for the winter and summer fair - the teachers and some of year 6 man the stalls (it's not a massive do), and the winter one is usually held on one of the school nativity days so there are already plenty of parents around to spend their money!

If we hadn't had teachers and y6 and y5 helping this year our fair would have been cancelled.

We had 2 y6s (not related to committee members) helping tidy away long after most adults had left.

We would never be able to run anything with 17 volunteers! Doesnt that mean you're expecting people to sit on a stall all day? Surely you need more than 17 stalls? We had 20 at our school fairs. Granted it was quite a big school. I like the idea of 1 1/2 hours on a Friday after school. Food, drink, music, a few tombolas. Job done!

Westcoast - I like that provided the 10 hours applies to each parent - not just the DMs.

That sounds a great policy west coast! Would love to see the uproar if that one was brought in to our school - you would probably hear it from Canada!

That clicky excuse is totally lame. Our PTA is diverse, if anyone comes to the meeting they always keep coming proving the friendliness IMO . The biggest click at our school is anti PTA for reasons I've never quite understood. They like to complain a lot (huffy emails about how the PTA undermines children's health due to our evil sweet giving ways) yet they enjoy the funds raised funnily enough.

We ask only for one hour. People can choose what stall and time.
Still makes no odds.

Dd's school - she was an in year admission, no bugger spoke to me nor said hello. Everyone stood in groups huddled together never looked at the newbies.

Ds's school - in year admission - people came up and said "hi", someone from the pta (from a different year) introduced herself said no pressure to join but if I fancied it or just wanted to meet some other mums - or even had new ideas then I could email or call her. They hold very successful fetes throughout the year.

I have had 12 years of my dc being at primary school. Never have I left a mum of a new admission in the playground without saying hello. Neither did anyone else I know. I have since developed anxiety so don't feel able to intrude on the huddles that avoid my eye contact yet still send out messages saying they are disappointed with the lack of input.

I moved my ds from that school, sadly I had to leave dd there - I will help out this summer fete - my dd's last one but I think you need to be brutally honest about why people don't want to join. I have done sewing, backgrounds, stalls - you name it I have done it for previous schools. But dd's school? I will do this one school fete and that is it. I will probably tell her afterwards why. They are unwelcoming, unhelpful and cold. Until they need help.

Wornoutboots- maybe suggest that you wouldn't mind keeping an eye on other people's little ones in order to free them up (older kids should be helping) and that you'd be happy to help if someone swaps with you next time. Get it started- offer a solution rather than backing away.

I talked to someone about it - on friday, actually. "oh we can't have you if you don't have grandparents to take the kids! can't you convince your mother to take them?" and no attempt at understanding that my mother lives a 3 hour drive away and hasn't much contact with us (last saw her for an hour in 2011).

so that's that.

Our PTA does a similar number of events. One for christmas + stuff for the children (they can buy gifts there), school fete, ladies evenings, disco twice a year plus some cakes stall etc... at different times in the year.

So what you are doing doesn't seem too much.

I don't think you can cancel so close to the date now so that will have to go ahead but if all the members from the committee have had enough then it's a sign that the way the PTA runs isn't right.
This can be for a lot of reasons. The feeling that there is a clique, being unconfortable to just turn up, being worried (or having experienced) that when you say you are happy to help, then yiou are given so much too do that it's too much so it's better to stay out of it until someone asks you to help etc....

I helped last year at our school fair...I couldn't get there for the start of the fair however ... I didn't want to do it..Standing on one stall for 3 hours was too much so I opted out.

Not a solution for you but may be helpful to understand how it is from my perspective

Just received an email from pta (after me explaining I don't have a mobile) saying they will try to remember to email me so how long do I leave it? When do I chase them?

Sorry the above ^^ is after me volunteering in response to their fb messages saying they don't have enough help.

Volunteer blocks should be in one hour time slots, more than that and its too hard to find people.

Wornoutboots- well then you've tried. Ridiculous to assume family help (maybe it's a London thing but none of my friends have that sort of back up). If there's ever a hint that you are not pulling your weight then you can say you've tried and you've offered solutions.
Starry0ne- opting out helps no one. Simply say 'I'm very very happy to help on a stall from 1- 2.30' or if you'd rather be on the move then offer to set up and/or clear up.

I know exactly how you feel as it's the same at our school. With only 160 children we have limited fundraising opertunities abs events are always manned by the same two handfuls of parents. I have helped since my boys started and it's only recently we have enough parents to run the events by parents only but still struggle, myself my husband and my mum are all doing raffle, tombola and splat a rat with my dad taking charge of our children or he would have been pulled in to help.