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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Childminder aibu

33 replies

mummy92 · 30/06/2016 21:47

My dd goes to childminder term time only in holidays I pay a retainer fee. This six week holiday my childminder is having a operation she is taking a week off and working rest when I collected dd today she told me she won't be able to drive for six weeks after or do heavy lifting but will tag on wth another childminder. The children she will have in holidays are over 4 so in her words pretty self sufficient. Aibu to feel pretty annoyed I'm still being made to pay a retainer when even if I wanted she wouldn't be able to look after my child as she's a baby.

OP posts:
OldKingThistle · 30/06/2016 21:51

When you say a retainer, is it a smaller proportion of your usual fees, not full fees? If so its to essentially compensate for the fact the childminder could be being paid full fees those weeks if she had taken on another child so I would say yabu. If you are paying full fees then yanbu

Dozer · 30/06/2016 21:54

Yanbu, unless the retainer is small. If she's unfit to care for a small DC she shouldn't charge.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 30/06/2016 22:05

Isn't the retainer partly to hold your place though? If you don't pay it, then are you prepared for her to give your place to someone else?

Tanith · 30/06/2016 22:09

If she's tagging on to another childminder, then they would be able to look after your baby: there would be two of them to share the workload.

Fooshufflewickbannanapants · 30/06/2016 22:10

Yabu. Surely the retainer is just that,to retain your place for term time. If you don't want to pay it don't expect a place.

isharewifinotsextoys · 30/06/2016 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mummyme1987 · 30/06/2016 22:17

If there's another childminder their to look after your baby if you wanted her too then yabu.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 30/06/2016 22:17

You don't know she wouldn't have been able to have your DD if you were full time. You pay a retainer because her having your DD TT only means she's missing out on quite a lot of income - she's fully entitled to do as she pleases during that time. You aren't paying her to work, you're paying her a retainer to accept a lower income.

Dozer · 30/06/2016 22:17

Probably not for DC under 4, unless the other CM has vacancies for that age group within the limits.

Mummyme1987 · 30/06/2016 22:18

There stupid autocorrect

Scholes34 · 30/06/2016 22:19

Your childminder is looking after your most precious possession. Treat her well and respectfully - as you would expect your employer to treat you.

Mummyme1987 · 30/06/2016 22:20

Surely if you don't need her then what happens in the holidays is irrelevant anyway to you?

PopGoesTheWeaz · 30/06/2016 22:21

Really depends on what the retainer is.

user1467101855 · 30/06/2016 22:23

Youre paying her a retainer fee, not a childcare fee. Therefore its immaterial to you whether she is able to do childcare or not.

bumsexatthebingo · 30/06/2016 22:24

I'm reading it as the other cm would not be able to take your dd due to ratios? It depends what it says in your contract really - does she charge when she can't work? If you do need to pay a retainer then you have to decide if it is worth it for continuity of care.

CrazyDuchess · 30/06/2016 22:24

YABU - is she a good childminder?? Your services are not being affected are they? Why would you want your child treated like a baby?

As above if she is good - treat her with respect, or findo another childminder!

BurningBridges · 30/06/2016 22:42

Personally I used the National Childminding Association for advice, now called PACEY:
www.pacey.org.uk

My CM wanted to leave my baby with her own mother (aged 80) whilst she went to the dentist, I said no, she wanted to be paid so I asked them AIBU and they said no don't pay. Your circumstances are different, but they are very helpful, you don't need to give your CMs name just explain the dilemma.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 30/06/2016 23:23

BurningBridges.

Why didn't you want your CM's mother to look after your baby when your CM went to the dentist?

You say she's 80 like that is a clearly mad idea - does the Queen, at ten years older than that, look 'past it'?

I can tell you that my 87 year old Aunt is still well able to have her 4 grandchildren for the day or week and often does. Yes she's shattered when they go home, but she loves it and she's a lot fitter than a lot of 60 year olds I know. Still looks after her large home, drives, walks and minds the kids. She can walk my feet off at the shops.

StatisticallyChallenged · 30/06/2016 23:55

BurningBridges is totally within her rights to not want someone else caring for her child - she pays the childminder, she selected the childminder, it's the childminder who has been background/criminal record checked, has a first aid qualification, etc etc etc. Not her mother.

user1467101855 · 01/07/2016 00:00

BurningBridges is totally within her rights to not want someone else caring for her child - she pays the childminder, she selected the childminder, it's the childminder who has been background/criminal record checked, has a first aid qualification, etc etc etc. Not her mother

That might be relevant if the CM's mother was intending to care for OP's child, but since she isn;t, its nonsense.
She's paying a fee to keep the place open, who cares who is looking after who since it affects the OP not at all?

user1467101855 · 01/07/2016 00:01

Sorry, my mistake, confused with OP. Ignore!

Willow2016 · 01/07/2016 00:25

If the retainer fee is just to secure your childs place then she wouldnt be having them anyway so its a moot point.

If she usually has your child at some point during the holidays she has said that she is working with another child minder so there should be no problem.

She hasnt actually stated that she is cancelling any time your child usually attends.

If you dont want to pay the retainer fee then dont, pay her her notice period then leave. Just dont expect her to have a place for your child when term starts again.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 01/07/2016 00:35

She should only charge the fee to hold the place if there is indeed a place to hold open.
It's not reasonable or decent to charge a retainer if the minder is not even availible to work.

But she has hired another one as an assistant so she is kinda availible.

I once had one who charged me when she was off sick had a really high absent rate would take sick days (and still charge me full fees) for her kids and husband then get seen on days out. I dropped her ages ago and I'm pretty sure she now only has very short term mindees

LauderSyme · 01/07/2016 01:13

Sometimes childminders do take the piss with their fees. I paid my childminder a retainer fee of over £300 for summer hols; she then handed in her notice six weeks into the autumn term because she'd got another job. She must have known she was looking for another job when she took my money. I was pretty annoyed! I understood she had to prioritise her own family finances but as a single parent it was a lot of money for me to throw away.

LouBlue1507 · 01/07/2016 04:52

LauderSyme I'm sorry but you didn't throw that money away, you paid your CM to keep a space open for your child throughout the school holidays...