Help me with a bible question! Please!

[EastLow]

Hi, I'm just wondering if someone could please tell me Noah's relatives, in the bible, and who they are. Would be most appreciated x

It's not really an AIBU but what's wrong with asking something you could have googled. People do it all the time on here, including me! My favourite Noah's ark thing 9gag.com/gag/ae0OWqb/if-noah-s-ark-were-a-facebook-newsfeed

Ex wife, we did that one too! Think it's captain Noah & his floating ark?

I remember "careful with the lights, feed the beasts in batches" coz durin one rehearsal, one of the teachers was sorting the lights & shouted down " I am being careful!"

But I came on to say that the Mesopotamian version in the epic of Gilgamesh names Noah as Utnapishtim - he & his wife are granted immortality by their gods & the reason for the flood is not sin but people being too noisy!

Hello notbad

Your best bet is to start your own thread in the Rlationships section and we will all come and help you.

ExWife and NiteFlight, yes, I did that at primary school too! Forty days and nights, living under hatches, careful with the lights, feed the beasts in batches etc

Ham always sticks out for me too.

Our ship is in danger of sinking. Apparently we have someone on board who is fleeing God. Shall we throw him over board?

holy shit, that was the one!

gonna make it rain and rain and rain and rain, gonna wash those sinners down the drain...

an angry god expressed via the medium of musical theatre...

AIBU to think that we should have a referendum to decide if Judea should leave the Roman Empire? I would certainly vote Leave. I mean, what have the Romans ever done for us? My heart tells me we would be better off self-governing than being managed by a load of bureaucrats in Europe.

AIBU to turn someone into a pillar of salt if she looks back at what I've done to Sodom and Gomarah? Or am I over reacting?

NotBad. . .

That's just made my day!

Google is your friend. (My mother does this all the time on Facebook - drives me nuts!)

Thanks Hatties. Not convinced NorksAreMessy appreciated where I was going with my posts up thread...

I've set a bear on some children because they were mocking someone for being bald. WIBU?

My DH has just bought some polycotton bed linen. Should I LTB?

What I remember about Noah is that one of his sons 'uncovered his father's skirt' (ie shagged one of his father's wives) and also his 'foot' was revealed when drunk - 'foot' being a euphemism for penis. Or so we were told. At school.

Help. A bush caught on fire and spoke to me. They said I should lead my people across the desert.

MN: Are you on glue?

Good question. The short answer is that it all got very, very awkward in the Noah family after the flood, and following a big bust up, the family got a bit smaller. It's not very clear (it's the bible after all), but it seems that one day when Noah had hit the bottle a bit too hard and was passed out in his tent, Ham either saw his dad Noah naked, or he had sex with him, or raped him. Noah, despite having no memory of this happening, and there being no explanation of how he found out what had happened, if anything, was very unimpressed, as was God. Now, God doesn't mind a bit of rape (see Lot's daughters), but he's really not keen on anything gay. Egged on by God, Noah decides against the Mumsnet way of just going NC, and decides instead, with God's assistance, to curse Ham's fourth son, Canaan, (who had nothing to do with any of it) and all of his descendents (the Canaanites). The fate of the hapless, cursed Canaanites are where the biblical justfication of slavery comes from.

You're right to put it in AIBU - in this case, Noah and God are VVV unreasonable, and Canaan should definitely cancel the cheque.

I don't know, Ham sounds like a really naice guy...

This was circulating on FB a while ago..

I should add, it sums up the bible for those who can't be bothered to read all 86 zillion pages of nonsense text.

allegretto- hints at the possiblity of all of us being decscendants of monkeys-
Then mrsmortis refers to the same comment and brings in an argument in Times Square about black skin.

How are the two related and why- me want to know!!!!!

An Angel told us when we left our city not to look back. I knew my wife was nosy, God knew my wife was nosy, yet he agreed to help us anyway, so it seems a bit harsh to have turned her into a pillar of salt over one sneaky peak! Aibu wanting tell God this was well out of order, and to be considering going nc?

I have 12 sons. I love one of them so much more than the others that I'm going to give him a special coat. A good idea?

Yes, give him the coat. He deserves it, they don't. And make sure it's obvious to the others that you love that one more, so they can bask in the glory of your wisdom one day. Of course they will grow to appreciate his presence in all your lives as much you do!

On re reading I realise my mil must have a little voice in her head that talks to her like this

Notbad are you joining the Peoples Front of Judea or the Judea Peoples Front?