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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To let boyfriend stay in room while me and flatmate are away?

88 replies

95percentcompromise · 30/06/2016 00:31

Flatmate and boyfriend know each other and get on. We are both away for a week's living back home (students) and flat is empty. He spends about half the week there anyway. Plan is for him to sleep in my room when I'm away technically replacing me. Any issues?

OP posts:

Aeroflotgirl · 30/06/2016 09:47

No you might be in breach of your tenancy agreement.

2nds · 30/06/2016 09:50

We had to claim off both our house and our car insurance plus our landlady's insurance over an incident last year. There was serious damage to her property and our vehicle which was caused by the roof falling down and honestly when it came to claiming on the insurance it was so stressful and it took 4-5 months for it to get settled, meanwhile we had to keep paying for a van that was no longer there (written off by the house roof falling on it) plus we had to keep paying our rent and we couldn't afford to rent anywhere else plus our insurance and landladys insurance would not cover us being rehoused neither would the landlady or the letting company.

No one caused the damage to our house and vehicle, it was an 'act of God', however I'm certain that if he burnt the place or flooded it you'd get exactly the same responses from the insurance company.

And in my experience people who don't pay their way are freeloaders who have no respect for what they get for free. Fuck he must be a good shag if he's allowed to freeload off two students.

BertPuttocks · 30/06/2016 10:10

When you sign up to a flat-share with one other person, you agree to pay half the bills in exchange for a half-share of the amenities.

Your flatmate is now paying half the bills and only getting a third-share of the place. It's no wonder she's feeling pissed off.

And now you want to let him have the place all to himself for a week??

LindyHemming · 30/06/2016 10:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheVicarOfNibbleswicke · 30/06/2016 10:22

Ugh I had a flat mate who's boyfriend basically lived with us and contributed nothing. He needs to start paying bills if he's there half the week or more imo and you cannot let him stay without your flatmates consent I'd say.

user1467101855 · 30/06/2016 10:35

Yes. For a start it would your contents insurance would be invalid

No it wouldn't, thats ridiculous.

waterrat · 30/06/2016 10:42

I loathe people who do this. You have changed the dynamic of the flat and she is being forced to flat share with your boyfriend.

tigermoll · 30/06/2016 10:49

This happened to me -- one of my flatmates moved her BF in , and couldn't see the problem with it. It's not just about the bills, it's:

-Extra cleaning. If he doesn't do any, then your flatmate is essentially being asked to clean up your BF's house for him
-Less of the communal areas available to her
-An extra flatmate who she didn't choose, and who massively alters the dynamic of the house. The couple will always side with each other in any issue that the other flatmate raises, and you end up feeling like a gooseberry in your own home.
-Living with a couple is AWFUL. They shag, fight, wander around all loved up, touch each other inappropriately in the kitchen, etc. No one wants to live with a couple, so it's no surprise your flatmate is 'grumpy'.

And why would he even want to be there when you weren't? I spy a cocklodger.

NicknameUsed · 30/06/2016 13:41

Where is the OP?

PuppyMonkey · 30/06/2016 13:46

Also PMSL at "does he cover bulls?"

OP has gone then... ah well.

MeMySonAndl · 30/06/2016 14:22

Agree with you tiger, but was not sure the CL term also applied to students. But yes, that what he seems to be... he doesn't like his house so, lets use girlfriend's instead for free

blackbirdmilkshake · 30/06/2016 15:30

I had a flatmate like you. I moved out ASAP

LordoftheTits · 30/06/2016 15:42

When I moved into my previous flatshare I was dating DH and he travelled through to see me every weekend, and stayed over on the Saturday night. We were quiet, spent time out of the flat or in my bedroom. I also made my flatmates aware of this arrangement before they picked me to rent the room.

A few months in the couple broke up and one moved out. The other one had a hard time getting through the break up and so his family (mum, dad and sister) would take turns flying down and staying on our couch with no prior warning given to me, and they would stay for anywhere between four nights and three weeks. I was never told when they were leaving either so I was always on edge, couldn't use the living room and had to cook when they weren't using the kitchen.

Thankfully I'm now married to and living with DH, far, far away from arsehole flatmate who still owes me 60 quid three years later

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