To let boyfriend stay in room while me and flatmate are away?

[95percentcompromise]

Flatmate and boyfriend know each other and get on. We are both away for a week's living back home (students) and flat is empty. He spends about half the week there anyway. Plan is for him to sleep in my room when I'm away technically replacing me. Any issues?

Watch out if they are already unhappy and have an honest think about the current situation.

I had a flat mate like that at uni where her BF would come around all the time, eat our shared meals (there were 5 of us), never contribute, hog the TV and bitch we didn't have sky, leave the bathroom in a disgusting state, never wash up etc. Grim.

pitterpatterrain, you've just reminded me of my student house share. One of my friends got a new boyfriend who started staying over every bloody night, and having very noisy sex. The last straw was when I walked home with her one day to find him sitting on the sofa in her shortie dressing gown eating my bloody bread and tea and eggs with all four bars of the ruinously expensive gas heater blasting. We had a rather heated house meeting about it, whereupon she did a moonlight flit stealing all the kitty money. Not a happy memory.

anyfucker that's pretty harsh. No need IMO.

OP, I'm in agreement with the others I'm afraid.

Also, unless your BF is contributing and your FM has agreed to it, him staying "half the time anyway" isn't very fair.

Your FM signed up to live with you, not a couple, and the latter can totally change the dynamic of a flatshare. I've been in your FM's position and it sucks.

If your BF spends so much time at yours anyway, and he hates his current FM, why don't you just move in with each other? Seems the easiest solution all round.

YABVU. Bordering on taking the mick.

You need to stay at his, nice or not, as much as he stays at yours to even out the finances.

I agree with pp, you need to spend an equal amount of time at his. It's really annoying when you can't walk around your own house in your knickers because there's a random living there too.

Had this at uni towards the end of my course. One of my housemates moved her boyfriend in when his own tenancy finished..the couple in question was shocked when we started splitting the bill including him on the split. He replied that he didnt live there....we all said he was there the last few months every day. Not sure what happened finally but think there was a massive falling out between the person who sorted the bills and the couple. If you do do this op you need to pay more of the bills BUT you need agreement from your flatmate. Image how you will feel?

Well I'm not supervised your flat mate is getting grumpy. Your boyfriend is there half the week. She didn't sign up to living with a couple. Try looking at things from her viewpoint.

Supervised?? Surprised.

came on here to reiterate what most are saying.
No, it is not his flat, it is not your flat, you have a flat share and no it would not be right for him to stay while you are not there

You and your boyfriend are taking the total piss. Having him stay over half the week is way too much, no wonder your flat mate is getting so annoyed. Asking if he can stay over while you are not even there is just a step too far. It's not his bloody flat! Either move out and get a place with your boyfriend or cop onto yourself and stop acting like a housemate from hell. Your poor flat mate.

Oh I had this years ago. Housemate had a girlfriend who would stay half the week, then she finished uni and would stays for weeks, pop home to her parents for a week then come back, she even had her mail sent to the house.

It took the piss really. It gets boring living with a couple and the house takes the strain, bathrooms, kitchen cleaning. It's awkward when you have to wait for a shower because the girlfriend is using the bathroom.

He has his own home, he should be in it.

No. It's not just a room. Flatmates chose each other. Not unless the other occupant wants this would or be ok for me.

its a no from me

This is where the roommate agreement would be enforced by Sheldon Cooper.

Check with your flat mate. Pay 2/3 of the bills. Start looking for your own place in the meanwhile as if your flare mate is getting grumpy, then she clearly doesn't see this as his moving in half the week as a fair.

Thank for writing this op because it's made me realise I'm not mad for getting annoyed at my flatmate for having her "new guy" around 4 nights a week. I signed up to live with 1 person, not 2. I hate getting up in the morning knowing he's going to be there ALL the damn time. No contributions to bills and I just don't feel fully relaxed to be honest. I sorted it though, I said it's not fair when you're living in a tiny flat. She sort of agreed but not sure if she was happy. But it has stopped being to often.
OP in answer to your post. Yes Yabu. Very unreasonable actually. I feel sorry for your flatmate.

No wonder she is grumpy!!!

Will you be paying for all the electricity and gas he'll be using? Thought not.

I lived with a 'friend' in a flat share years ago. Her bf was there almost all the time. It ruined my time there, it didn't feel like my home, I felt like a guest. He never paid towards any bills but would occasionally cook a meal or bring a bottle of wine which I was supposed to be grateful for.

It was horrible for me. You are so very unreasonable . If his place is crap then he should move not stay in your room!! I'd be livid.

I ended up giving notice on my room to the landlord and not telling my friend. I didn't even stay there for it. Paid up, moved out and never saw her again.

I don't blame your flatmate for being grumpy - I'd be more than grumpy in this situation. If your boyfriend doesn't like his current flat he needs to get another. And as for him staying half the week - I don't think so. Once or possibly twice a week is not unreasonable provided she is agreeable. She didn't sign up to sharing with your boyfriend and she shouldn't have to. And as for him staying there whilst you are away - absolutely not.

I will reiterate. If he doesn't like his flat then he needs to move.

You are a piss taking chancer. Had this so much with flatmates we'd have guest rules written into the tenancy agreement to avoid the mooching boyfriend/girlfriend/mate moving in scenario.

Was never so glad as to rent my own bedsit and live alone.

She's getting grumpy because you're forcing a 2nd flatmate she didn't chose on her.

Yabu

Your flat mate obviously isn't happy.

There is no need for him to be there.

And when you say half the week, is that three nights or four?

That would massively piss me off tbh but I'd have told you long before now that if he stays half the week the bills get split by 3 and I wouldn't be bank rolling your OH.

I would seriously not be happy about a boyfriend staying when no-one was in the house. He has his own place tell him to use it!