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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to ban primary school sports day?

394 replies

namechangingagainagain · 29/06/2016 09:20

I HATE sports day. I REALLY REALLY hate it!
Don't get me wrong as a child I was sporty. I did well at sports day and loved it.

However now I'm a parent Ive had to drag DS6 to school this morning. I have 3 school age children. They are all competitive but only the eldest is good at sport. He liked sports day. The other 2 found it the most painful day of the year.

Don't get me wrong they can all play a board game and lose without too much bother. They are all active and fit. They just hate sports day..... the sitting around...... the cheering parents...... DS aged 9 said " I hate it when they clap you and you're last.... it's really humiliating....."

It seems once you get to high school it's more opt in... which is fine.
FWIW I'm not anti-competitive at all but it just seems to me when they are little they don't have the emotional intelligence to cope with it ( or maybe it's just my children...)

( and yes I probably just should have let him have the day off in hindsight )

OP posts:
sandbagsatdawn · 01/07/2016 22:17

I'm torn. Our schools, both infant and junior had very non competitive sports days where everyone had a go at everything and there was no real sense of competition, which left me feeling it was all a bit pointless.

I think an approach where everyone got to pick a couple of events to take part in competitively would be better, with the option to do non sports type jobs for kids who hate or are rubbish at sport.

I agree that while kids do know who is good at reading and maths in their class, they don't get public recognition for it. My daughter was and is by far the best at reading in her class and has never had any kind of medal or award for it. It's her natural ability, it comes easy to her but surely that's the same as someone else's natural ability to run fast.

lem73 · 01/07/2016 22:31

Sandbag how on earth do you know your dd is by far the best at reading in her class?!

HeartOnTheLine · 01/07/2016 22:38

I'd like to know the answer to that also

Whyisitsodifficult · 01/07/2016 22:45

My DC's sports day is painful to watch! All PC nonsense of everyone is a winner shite. One child got told off for cheering! My own DS said it was boring, what can I say when they run for 3 metres and back balancing a plastic broccoli. No running races or competition it truly puts you off attending let alone doing it. One of these kids could be a future professional athlete but sport is way down the pecking order at our school.

JaWellNoFine · 02/07/2016 08:34

My son goes to prep. 20 kids in the class. Awesomely sporty class and ISA national and regional champs in many many team sports.

2 out of the 20 kids look forward to Sports Day. The rest loathe it.

SukeyTakeItOffAgain · 02/07/2016 11:29

I used to love Sports Day, but then I used to win things and have people cheering for me.

And that's it in a nutshell.

It's a conundrum.

TheNaze73 · 02/07/2016 11:46

YABVU

2StripedSocks · 02/07/2016 11:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

grannytomine · 02/07/2016 11:53

I don't know how Sandbag knows her child is best at reading but I was told my daughter was years ahead of the rest of her year when she joined the school in year 4. The teacher who tested her told me so, he also told me she was top at maths. I don't know if they would always do it but there were concerns at the school as she had been home educated and they thought she would be behind so he was "delighted" to tell me there was nothing to worry about.

grannytomine · 02/07/2016 11:59

teacherwith2kids, I can imagine you get positive feedback, I can remember the smiles and nodded heads as teachers came round. As soon as they were gone everyone was moaning again. It isn't just my daughter, you seem to ignore the fact that my sporty kids and their sporty friends all loathed sports day. The problem, in my opinion, is that in trying to make it "fun" and "inclusive" and everything is of equal value (even though the kids know that just isn't true, have you ever seen the egg and spoon race in the olympics?" means the ones who hate sport and are no good at it still hate it and the ones who are good at it and take it seriously are frustrated. My kids have gone to 3 primary schools and sports day was universally dreaded by every parent and child I knew.

grannytomine · 02/07/2016 12:04

teacherwith2kids, the music concert is different surely? Do you actually get them all up to play individually so that the one who has a few whole class lessons has to stand up after the grade 5 clarinet player and get points awarded? Different to any concert I have been to.

Do they all have to stand up individually and do the maths challenge with parents watching? Every child does it?

Sport is the only subject where ritual humiliation is considered a good thing. When you go into school on Monday pick out the child who is the worst at reading and then give them a piece to read at assembly and see how it goes, I am sure it will be good for them, character building. While you're up there do what someone else suggested and sing a solo and maybe give a gymnastics display, pick something that will challenge you, get a few sniggers from the alpha teachers. Go on, I dare you.

VioletBam · 02/07/2016 12:08

Grannie WELL SAID!

2StripedSocks · 02/07/2016 12:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2StripedSocks · 02/07/2016 12:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

derxa · 02/07/2016 13:01

My DC's sports day is painful to watch! All PC nonsense of everyone is a winner shite. One child got told off for cheering! My own DS said it was boring, what can I say when they run for 3 metres and back balancing a plastic broccoli. No running races or competition it truly puts you off attending let alone doing it. One of these kids could be a future professional athlete but sport is way down the pecking order at our school.

derxa · 02/07/2016 13:07

I used to take my school to athletics competitions. We were a tiny school and nearly everyone was part of the team. We won a lot and I think everyone enjoyed it. These were after school so not compulsory. However I'm sure at other much bigger primaries there would be parents moaning that the same people were always chosen. You can never please everyone.

LynetteScavo · 02/07/2016 13:27

Reasons I don't like sports day.

I can never go because of work. DH and I are the ONLY parents who don't go. We have been repeatedly told this by our DC. It makes me feel crappy even though I know it's not true

If I did go, I would be bored. It lasts a whole day at my DCs schools.

Reasons I like sports day;

DS come home really happy yesterday becuase he threw the javelin an impressive distance. He was verbally praised by the teacher who measured it, but they don't get individual recognition; it's all about which house wins.

Not every child has to compete though. The others get to sit around the field all day chatting if they want, although there are the "fun" races such as three legged, backwards etc and everyone is encouraged to enter something.

SukeyTakeItOffAgain · 02/07/2016 14:49

The others get to sit around the field all day chatting if they want

In the school I used to teach in it was more a case of "the others get to sit around in the field fighting if they want".

At our school we fostered a real House competition so it was the team effort which was the aim. This was immediately post Harry Potter when everyone was into Houses.

They have now changed it so they do a rotating activities thing, which gets them all taking part, but I think it's a shame to lose the competitive element entirely.

If the country wants to have successful sports teams and individuals they need to compete from an early age. You can't have it both ways. That's just how it is.

derxa · 02/07/2016 15:29

In the school I used to teach in it was more a case of "the others get to sit around in the field fighting if they want Grin That happened in our school and then we switched to houses but kept the competitive element.

minifingerz · 02/07/2016 16:12

I love sports day!

I love cheering all the kids on, watching them cheating in the egg and spoon race, the really chubby kids bursting out of their PE kits who hurl themselves in red faced determination around the track, the demented chanting, the loud reggae music the school caretaker plays to whip the crowd into a frenzy.

I'm only sad they've stopped the parents' race since it got out of hand a few years back and a dad got trampled. Grin

I just tell ds to crack on and do his best. He's no athlete (flat feet) but he got into the spirit of it this year.

grannytomine · 02/07/2016 16:45

2StripedSocks, yes just like I said sport is the only school subject where ritual humiliation is supposed to be good for you. Good luck, it is difficult to watch isn't it.

hazeyjane · 02/07/2016 18:44

Well D s would argue with you, he is disabled, wears splints, can't climb, does the races with a 1-1 by his side. He loves it, I love it, people clap and cheer all the children, those with disabilities and those without. If hey are mocking and jeering then they are arsehats who would probably mock paralympians so they can go fuck themselves.

D s had a main part in the whole school assembly, despite being unable to speak and needing his 1-1 with him. His writing goes up on the wall despite needing help with his fine motor skills. His efforts and abilities are celebrated along with the other children's.

Statelychangers · 02/07/2016 23:26

Granny - I agree!
Do we really have to subject ourselves and our kids to this hell just for the slightest chance we have an Olympic champion in our midst? Imo it is more important to encourage all of our kids to take part and enjoy sport and develop fitness than to attempt to organise things to create an Olympic champion...developing a lifelong good attitude is the important element of school sports imo. If the competitive element works for you then knock yourself out but for others it puts them off sport for life.
Better to let down hundreds and thousands of kids just in case you might find the next Jessica Ellis, it would all be worth it. Hmm

derxa · 02/07/2016 23:47

the next Jessica Ellis OK Hmm

VioletBam · 03/07/2016 03:02

Hazey I'm glad your DS enjoys it all. But many find it utterly torturous. I think it should be open to those who WANT to do it but those who don't could help in other, supportive ways. We don't make ALL kids be in the theatre club do we?

In my school you could opt to help with set and costumes. Which suited shyer children but they were involved still.

Kids who don't want to race can assist with drinks, laying out sashes and lines etc.