hysterical parenting - AIBU?

[cathf]

I might be a voice in the wilderness here but is anyone else amazed at the level of overreaction and drama involved in parenting in 2016?
I only joined Mumsnet a few weeks ago and I have been astonished by some of the posts on here. I sincerely hope that this is not a snapshot of real life or we are all doomed.
It looks to me as if mothers - and I am sorry, it is almost exclusively mothers - seem to need to constantly define themselves by 'protecting' their children against perceived dangers as if it somehow proves they are good mothers. What did these women do before they had children?
In no particular order in the last few days, we have had a mum who was blocking all contact with her PIL because they did not show as much interest in their grandchild as SHE thought they should, someone suggesting the police should be called because an elderly woman helped a mum diffuse a stand-off with a toddler and yet another thread about locking the family away from the world until the baby is x weeks old.
What happened to living peacefully as best we can? Instead a routine trip to the shops, toddler's birthday or birth of a new baby is turned into a dramatic stand-off when there's really no need.
I am quite prepared to accept I am a minority of one on this - my children are aged 23, 12 and 9 so I guess I just parented in different times!

I don't understand half of the stuff posted on here tbh.

Hysterical ✔️
Meltdown ✔️
Professionally offended ✔️

Anyone wanna mention a parent and child parking space...?

I do think some people have too much time on their hands and overthink stuff but also that some people are genuinely isolated. The trick is to know which is which. That said there have always being both momenteraily and permanently batshit mothers with out there viewpoints. MN didn't create them just gives them a forum to help make other mums feel more normal lol

Using meltdown to describe a tantrum imo, can be acceptable.

Pulling faces about it when people ask you not to, is arse-ish.

Can't honestly believe we're not allowed to use the word meltdown. I've heard it all now.

Yep, reactions like that. Thank you for providing an example :)

My parents would always say I was having a meltdown over things, I'm not autistic (that I know of), the term has been around for years, no section of society 'owns' that word.

I think it's a little unfair, people aren't coming on here to discuss their many many normal boring every day lives, they come on here when something has happened for a rant or a moan or whatever, nobody's perfect and I'm sure even op has had days that have turned them in to a babbling monster through lack of sleep or 70 nappy changes and someone being rude to you at a shop or parking where they shouldn't at that moment does feel like a massive deal! Of course t isn't really but we all get a bit wrapped up in our own lives now and again!

I would wager oftentimes people know they're being a little melodramatic but feel MN is a 'safe' place for them to let off a bit of steam and be a bit unreasonable or hysterical and allows them to continue being perfectly normal well rounded people in RL, it's just a bit of a therapy session sometimes!

You're not wrong OP. It does make me thankful for my quiet, drama-free life though.

YABU in thinking this is something new. My gran was hysterical about dangers to children, particularly hygienic ones, in the 60s. My dad was very much a pfb and she would bore me to tears with stories about when he had a tummy upset in 1936.

According to MIL, dh's gran was also horrendously anxious about the children and they ended up having to move away because MIL was worried about the effect of her hysteria on her sons.

But they didn't have Mumsnet.

Also, locking mother and baby away from the world for weeks on end is traditional in many cultures: Chinese relative by marriage found it enormously liberating not to have to do this in the west, but struggled with her parents visiting because they had old-fashioned ideas.

Like most things, the majority of people are decent and normal. Certain thread attract certain responses, and rarely does hysteria not get picked up on. Some people struggle, and a dose of straight talking on MN can help.

There aren't many fathers on here comparatively so I'm not sure how you can assert that it is all mothers. A closet misogynist methinks.

Like I pointed out yesterday, meltdown has been used for decades to describe a child having a, well, meltdown. I understand that it is now used as a way to describe a particular behaviour in children with autism but that does not mean that others can't use it they way it was before that!

Also worth noting that in the other side of the fence you have the competitive laissez faire 'brigade'. Just as annoying. Most people are somewhere in the middle.

Hysterical?

Do these posters type with their uteri?

If not, then YABU.

Also, locking mother and baby away from the world for weeks on end is traditional in many cultures:

Yes, and many Arab/Asian cultures they will then hold a 40 day party where you will not see your baby for hours.

Are you feeling a little queer? You're usually so gay.

Like i said, no major issue with using it but dont pull the face if it bothers someone. Like people are doing here.
Seriously, just have a little think of why it would bother them.

Oh beyond that's bollocks. You're the police now? Really?

Nee naw nee naw

Locking yourself away post birth is a perfectly logical thing here.

When you have 6 siblings plus parters with 2 children each, 2 sets of parents, many friends with kids... going on lockdown is bliss!

meltdown

• noun

• the melting of a significant portion of a nuclear-reactor core due to inadequate cooling of the fuel elements, a condition that could lead to the escape of radiation.

• a quickly developing breakdown or collapse: a bond-market meltdown; the meltdown of a marriage.

• Informal. a sudden loss of control over one’s feelings or behavior: My toddler had a meltdown when I tried to leave the house.

Origin: 1960–65; noun use of verb phrase melt down

It clearly has other meanings and to be offended that someone is perceived to be slighting your autistic child is daft.

We had this yesterday, it feels like groundhog day.

*Hysterical?

Do these posters type with their uteri?

If not, then YABU.*

Yes, I know the etymology, but the ire some posters direct towards a word in common usage to apply to both men and women, is ridiculous.