Aibu? Sorry it's deep and regarding the vote to leave

[user1466952915]

I was born in the early 70's to parents that came from India in the mid 60's, I was born in a time where we saw our mother chased into our house by skinhead thug as she was on her way too work. We were spat on at the park, even had a air rifle fired at me. Never responded to the abuse, words and physical, never as I was scared what would happen if I did.

I was the only Asian child in my year at school, and was bullied, spat on and called every offensive name under the sun. The teachers at the time turned a blind eye and I had even heard our head of year laugh at it.

When I went to play at a friends one of my memories is her neighbours lad chasing me around cars pulling my hair and kicking me.

Late 80's it all calms down.......

My husband is white English, not that, that matters, but it did to his mother who sadly still had the archaic ideas about not mixing races, even though she is blessed with 4 gorgeous grandchildren.

Now it's all back and with a vengeance, devastated my friend of 15 years shared race hate posts, seeing posts all over twitter about the race hate towards all races.

To say I can't cope is an understatement, I was born here but have had it made clear to me I don't belong most of my life.

We have paid or way own our own home and are just a regular family, But now my husband is beside himself with worry over his job, it's a French company and trying to deal with me fretting.

Please don't tell me my fears and worries aren't real as I can see they are, what do I do? how do I cope, we just want our quite life back and not that I am a second class citizen or not wanted, I have no other country to call home.

Sorry used an alias, been losing my mind over all this, even in my hobby circle the posts are so abhorrently upsetting, people sharing memes with racist comments. I'm just not strong enough to cope.

You are not the only one going through this, if it helps. Thing is, as others have pointed out, out of that 38% who voted leave, only a small minority have done so on a rabid xenophobic racist ticket. So that's a good thing.

The bad thing is that once these people realise that post Brexit
things will be worse economically, and immigration will continue business pretty much as usual, they will, once again, look for someone to blame, and the likelihood is that they will stick with what's familiar, and blame the former on the latter.

Which is why we need every single decent British person to draw a line whenever they come across an instance of xenophobia and racism, and not let it pass unchallenged.

At the moment the fuckwits believe that the vote for Brexit has given them the licence to free fuckwittery. Please show them they are wrong, especially if you voted leave.

Right now, the trend seems to be to come down like a ton of bricks on anyone mentioning Brexit and xenophobia in the same breath. The non-xenophobes who voted leave would do much more good by putting this energy into shutting up the ugly, rabit minority who have attached themselves to their cause.

This is how it all started in former Yugoslavia. After the split, suddenly the ethnicity and religious affiliation mattered in the way they never mattered before, and the result was attempted genocide.

Decent people of Britain - don't wait for things to become that bad before making your stand.Please.

It is horrible. I am so worried. Can't face work tomorrow because of it. What is happening to the world? No advice but I am trying to convince DH to make a contingency plan with me to leave the UK as we are eligible for a second citizenship within the EU. I am genuinely scared (being black British). DH is white and whilst on the same page, he isn't full of the fear I am and so is reluctant to make the move. I am now looking at neighbours, colleagues, strangers wondering if they want me to leave, wondering if they blame 'my sort' for the problems they face. I feel very vulnerable. You have my support OP and, whilst this doesn't help, know you are not alone.

I'm so sorry. I voted remain and I'm still in shock, everything seems to be going downhill fast.

oh OP you have my sympathies, my family background is the same as yours and there has been a significant deterioration in attitudes over the last few years the anti islamic rhetoric has a lot to answer for. I feel like what is happening now is much worse than being called a Paki and having my hair pulled at school, at least in those days we didn't expect any better.

Six months ago, my brother was attacked after a night out by a group of racist thugs. The police didn't document it as a race crime and the people involved were not brought to justice even though there was CCTV evidence, while this hasn't stopped him from living his life, there has been a lasting impact. He'd never experienced this in his lifetime, he (and we) identify as english and british. How shameful is it that we're not welcome in our country?

I had hoped that I was being paranoid and that sense would prevail but clearly not. I don't know the answer I'm afraid, but the thing that I find the most galling is people spouting racist bollocks and then telling me that they're not being racist. They can't even own their vitriol.

The problem with stupid people is that they have no consideration for the context behind why the UK has become such a cosmopolitan melting pot and there really is no reasoning with this. It wouldn't occur to them to consider that if they "sent back to where they came from" all the doctors, nurses, accountants, lawyers, IT specialists, engineers, teachers etc there'd be nae fucker left to help keep the place going. Without wishing to resort to cultural stereotypes, these are some of the careers within my family. I'm happy to be "repatriated" as some racist fuckwit put it, but where on earth would they "repatriate" me to?

It truly is a worrying time, but we can only keep going. I really hope that our fears around reverting to shit years of the seventies and eighties are wrong.

DH is a North African Muslim immigrant so I am worried for him and the children. Luckily we live in a multicultural bit of London that voted remain. We need everyone who voted leave for political or economic reasons to stand up against the xenophobes and say "not in my name".

Don't get angry, people; get eloquent.
Anyone who feels as the OP does is entitled to our support and protection. Whether she is in the room or not, when you hear unacceptable language, challenge it. When you hear offensive ideas, oppose them. If any of your friends conduct themselves in so appalling a manner, be prepared to put your beliefs before your friendship.
I hear much talk of despair amongst my educated, liberal, generally white, South Eastern-dwelling friends. That is no good enough. We must fight so that others who are less able to do not have to.

OP There's not much I can say then I'm so sorry and not everybody thinks like that. Big hugs Stay strong xxxx your not alone xxx

I also feel the need to express my deep sorrow and shame for the horrendous abuse and downright nastiness flying around right now.
I want to be British, not English, and a part of Europe. I am happy to embrace all differences, as PPs have said.
Who knows what the next few weeks will bring - hopefully stability and tolerance.
Apologies for being cheesy, but The New Seekers put it very well:

I'd like to build the world a home
And furnish it with love
Grow apple trees and honey bees
And snow white turtle doves

I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
I'd like to hold it in my arms
And keep it company

I'd like to see the world for once
All standing hand in hand
And hear them echo through the hills
For peace through out the land
(That's the song I hear)

How frightening. Trouble is kind people are quiet, unkind people are loud. It's not that others don't want to help, they're just not equipped to.

All I can promise is that if I see this happening I will step up and help. I'm not going to stay quiet and watch abuse. It's not easy for normal people to stand up to anti social people but we need to. Same for the memes. I'm going to start calling people out before I block them.

I'm sorry about this OP. I love the richness and variety this country has gained by the diversity of its population. It's such a strength. I've always felt that despite the fringe minorities, we were basically a tolerant, accepting nation. Brexit has shaken this belief, which is part of the reason I am so upset. What I fear is that so many people have voted as a protest vote, thinking that any change is going to better for them. This makes me feel a bit guilty, as I had no idea how desperate and alienated people outside the south east felt. Unfortunately, I think Brexit will only make the situation worse. Those very people that led the campaign are hardly champions of the vulnerable. But for your situation, I still have to hope that those with extreme views are still a very small minority. .

I came on to say what Huppopapa did. OP, I am so sorry. All I can do is promise you that I will challenge this behaviour whenever I see, hear, or read it. I will not walk on, turn a blind eye, or ignore it because the person who says it is a 'friend' or family member. If enough good people get angry about this, I hope that it might make a difference. I live in a strongly Leave area, and things have already got (verbally) nasty around here.

I realise that it's cold comfort for you, but I hope it helps in some ways to know that millions of people are as disgusted and horrified as you are. You are not alone in your fears- one of my best friends is incredibly anxious about what the future holds for her (mixed race) baby. My heart is breaking for her.

Your early life is almost the same as my mums op. Iv also expirenced it as the child of a mixed race mother.

I'm sorry your feeling scared and I'm sorry some fuckwits are being awful!

Can I reasure you not all who voted out have racist thoughts. from the people I know none of them are, they just want change they didn't make the decision on immigration at all. That's not to say some of the voters arnt racist of course

You are British and true British people love you! anyone who shows hate in my opinion are not part of the country they are just arseholes who live here!

On another note can i suggest you change your username not because of troll calling just because in my experience having a proper name allows you to have a name to be called by and be familiar for example most people call me ginky which feels more familiar than a string of numbers. Does that make sense?

I agree that decent, good people need to speak up and challenge racism and xenophobia. I'm making a point of doing it - in fact we have an obligation to do this, I think.

It worries me that racists are taking this opportunity to come out of the woodwork.

It also worries me that people are saying that racists are in a minority, because I think it minimises the extent of the problem.

It really worries me that (going by discussions on mumsnet and IRL) white people don't seem to have a very clear understanding of what racism actually is.

I agree Wench. I don't believe we do and I don't think minimising the issue helps.

I think we need to acknowledge that this is a real problem and challenge it directly.

It's an awful situation to be in, things will calm down. You don't need to explain your history at all - be proud of yourself and your family.

BTW I am one of the 52% some posters are ashamed of, the only thing I can say is don't generalise otherwise you are as bad as those the OP mentions.

Take care xx

I'm not English, nor do I live in the UK, but I have always admired the UK as a place that embraced all nationalities and cultures. To say I am shocked by the outcome of the referendum and the
resulting backlash is an understatement. I hope things revert to "normal" soon.

My piss has been on a slow simmer for days now, and I'm ready to boil it when needed. I've always been one to wade into racist incidents (lived in Luton and London for a while, so there have been a few) and tell the (usually) White Brit to back right off.

I'm white British as is my DH. When I told my 7 year old that the 'Leave' side had won she sat there with tears in her eyes and asked 'What about XX and XXX?' Two girls in her class with Polish backgrounds, though XX has a British passport.

It was her class assembly on Friday and XX's parents were sitting, with a clear space either side of them. I'd like to think it was a complete coincidence. Or that the worst case is that people were 'merely' uncomfortable with the vote and not wanting to get into a discussion about it. I am not one of those people and I often chat with the mother so I sat down and said Hi. They are worried about what the future holds for them. She's a HCP ffs; we need her.

If I hear or see anything racist I'll be challenging it and possibly calling the police. I have absolutely no time for prejudice. Racism is repugnant. It's not everyone OP. It's not even half of the 'White British' population as some people were genuinely voting for the other reasons. But those people who are vile are going out of their way to make themselves known to you.

I'm sorry that you are going through this.

Op I completely appreciate where you are coming from. Born in the 80's to immigrant parents, bullied regularly yet I have never felt this uncertain of the future. Just challenge the comments where you can and focus on the fact that most people are not racist but the nasty ones shout the loudest. In addition you have the normal worries of job loss/economy etc and you wonder how you will cope!

Thing is it isnt just white British people who can be racist. Many other nationalities also have people who are racist. I spent sone of my primary years in Derby my best friends mum and dad were from India.I work with people of all nationalities. I voted leave but not for racist reasons.

The media will whip it up into a frenzy focusing on racism.

I really think these people have always thought like that but now feel able to say it outloud. They are just wankers.
BUT
That isn't the view of the the remainers and even the vast majority of the leavers. Most leavers are decent people I think who are concerned about how a small island can cope with an ever increasing influx of people. I should imagine they have no problem with people already here or even people wanting to come, on a personal level, but they are concerned how many people we can take and support without pain to the country.

Please don't tar a small proportion of the UK population with the same brush. 48.9 and 51.1% of our population certainly don't view you negatively. It is a tiny portion of the 51.1%ers, I hope

It is a really worrying state of affairs that this has caused/will cause issues of this nature. It's horrific.

I'm so sorry. I'm really angry that this vote has given the racists and bigots a platform to spread their poison. I can only hope that this is temporary, and that the majority of people in this country, regardless of how they voted, can realise and be appalled by the racism and prejudice that is rising to the surface in some places - these horrible people ARE the minority; their views aren't shared by most of us.

This thread has made me feel i'm less alone, i'm sorry it is under these circumstances I've heard your worries, there are many many decent people around us I have to keep reminding myself.

x

I'm so sorry. I find this unbearably sad. I am ashamed and horrified at what England has become.