Forget Brexit this is serious

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"D"H made breakfast this morning. He has this habit of grilling croissants as he likes them "crispy". It gives me the rage, they stay doughy in the middle and overly dry on top.

If I kill him, do you think a court would forgive me? It's been 15 years of crap breakfasts.

Have you told him you don't like them like that?

Yes. Repeatedly. For years.

LTB

No option then.

LTB

I've just sat seething about our Sunday breakfast.
I make dippy eggs and soldiers and Dp dunks bread anthem not toast, it's upset me for years

Microwave for 20-30 seconds is your friend.

HTH

In them not anthem

Don't kill him. Those croissants sound fab.

My DH puts them in the microwave so they end up like steamed flabby floppy things

You're a very lucky lady from where I'm standing!

I like them warmed in the oven...they do go a bit crispy then? Could this be a compromise?

Hold a referendum on Mumsnet, Remain or Leave.

Does he toast them or microwave them?

Dp just nipped out for milk and came back with doughy soft deliciousness croissant and pain a chocolate.

I was happy enough with that, then threads like this make me feel even more smug that they were soft and squidgy and not burnt to a crisp.

I think any jury would exonerate you for having put up with it for the past 15 years

Yes. Repeatedly. For years.

Killing him may be the only way to go then. It's self defence, surely? From assault on your senses.

I like them warmed in the oven.

He uses the grill not the toaster.

I think I might start restricting his freedom of movement in the bedroom. I don't really want to LTB, but sticking them under the grill against my wishes is undemocratic.

Divorce is probably safer... but less satisfying.

Save a space in your cell for me, DH is still unable to get my coffee at correct milkiness after 10 years, despite my identifying the correct shade I still have to add more milk EVERY time!

Mmm croissants.

My ex would fry eggs and then chop off the white and bin it because he wasn't keen. If I didn't get there quick enough I would be given a yolk with a tiny white edging.

Arrogant prick. Note: ex. 🍳

Maybe I should go for independent breakfasts , whilst retaining the same economic areas.

Tallulah have you considered a pod coffee maker with little pots that carry the right amount of milk.

Really this is a non-negotiable.

And I can sympathise. I texted my OH this yesterday, "On my way home, haven't had lunch, could you please get a burger bun out of the freezer for me and set in on the cool stove top?" I specified "cool" in case he though I meant for him to cook it when I simply wanted the airflow. He texted back "of course!".

When I got home we chatted a bit and then I said I was going to get my lunch started and he looked perplexed "It won't be defrosted yet". I thought that he'd never really come to understand how quickly a small amount of bread can defrost and that I would finish it off in the toaster anyway, while my burger (lovely ready made taste the difference from sainsburys already defrosted in the fridge) cooked in the oven.

I went in to the kitchen. No sight of bun. I asked him where it was and he came in to the kitchen with me. This was his response to my text. He'd taken a frozen burger out of the freezer and placed it on a plate and stuck it in the fridge. That was his response to my text. I laughed and asked him to read my text again, which he did and then just sloped off a little hang dog.

He's a modern/new/metro male, he's nice and thoughtful. It's as if his brain just fizzed over in that moment.

If I get my morning tea delivered in the wrong mug ONE MORE TIME......

We need a treaty for breakfast standards agreed with all parties, that would stop the problems.

Unfortunately all the negotiators work in Brussels . Where they don't grill croissants.

Love this thread...smiles seem in short supply at the moment!

Grilled croissants would be a deal breaker for me I'm afraid. He clearly has extremely serious issues.

15 years? 15 actual human, not dog, years?

I have one question: He's still breathing. Why?

Anyone totally ignoring my preferences after being told a couple of times wouldn't last 15 years, it shows total disregard for you.

YABU though because I want croissants now & can't be bothered going out for them & I'm home alone so no one to send...actually...I'm home alone Hmmmmmm I think I'll just enjoy that and not focus on the lack of croissants!