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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel sad, and a bit hopeless

89 replies

yummysummerpudding · 23/06/2016 20:59

I normally do use another name on here, but, I can't really explain it, just want to be incognito tonight.

I'm 35.

In all probability I've left it too late to have a child.

I know many of you will have had children after this age, but realistically I am single - meeting someone (and believe me I am as far from attractive as it's possible to be!) and having a child in the timeframe of five years just doesn't seem realistic.

I've thought about anonymous sperm donation but just don't think it's for me.

So - there it is. It's probably not an AIBU but ... :)

OP posts:
beetroot2 · 24/06/2016 00:45

You don't have to have a man to have a baby!

KC225 · 24/06/2016 00:59

Met my DH at 39 whilst on holiday. I was dodging an ex who had broken my heart. We married when I was 40 and had twins a week before my 42nd birthday.

It's a numbers game, get out there. Be fun approachable and friendly. BIN THE LIST.

35 is not old. And like another poster said, you do not need a man to have a baby.

Chin up, good luck.

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 24/06/2016 01:08

Your child might regret you using a donor, but I very much doubt they would ever say they'd rather not be here...

KC225 · 24/06/2016 01:16

Lovelyholiday. That is quite incredible. Good for you. I wish you well.

Yummy. I think you should take the rest of the year boost yourself up. Get your hair done, new colour, new style, book a make up lesson. Join gym or swim. Some of the big department stores have personal shoppers that you can book (I know selfridges do it) it tell them your budget and they walk round with you to pick some outfits. Do something nice for yourself every month. Doesn't have to be expensive. By new year you'll be a knock out. Start 2017 with a this will be the year attitude. Do it for you, not to get a man. That'll come later when you are ready and fighting fit.

beetroot2 · 24/06/2016 01:19

So you're telling the OP to book a make up lesson? really KC? But do it for you. I can't think of anything more insulting :/

Italiangreyhound · 24/06/2016 01:26

yummysummerpudding I met my dh through a dating agency aged 33. He procrastinated because he needed time and we married when I was 36. We started trying for a baby at 37 and I had dd aged 39. We tried for number 2 for years and had treatment with my own eggs and then donor eggs, giving up finally and then we adopted ds, aged 3, when I was 49. It's not been easy. BUT it was totally worth it.

It is not easy to get pregnant in your late 40s. I would not say you had another 15 years, this is unrealistic. I would say you have about 5-7 years. So you probably need to decide whether you want to put your time into meeting Mr Right, or Mr Right now, and how to do that. Or go an alternative route and use sperm donor. or some combination of the two!

If this route is not fruitful you could look into adoption, but it is not an easy option and you need to be sure you are not going to want to try IVF, donor sperm or anything else again.

The other option, which we considered, is IVF with donor embryo. This is sometimes a good option if (just as an example) your eggs were not great or you really did get to an older stage and you were struggling to get pregnant with your own eggs. Donor eggs and donor sperm are expensive options but donor embryos are much less so.

There are several countries in Europe which are less costly than UK and have shorter waiting lists. The question if you go for donor embryo or adoption (or even donor egg, as I did) is whether or not being genetically linked to your child is an issue.

How are you unattractive? Looks are not everything but confidence is, confidence makes you look better but sometimes a new hair style a few new clothes or whatever can lead to the confidence and move you forward.

It really is in your own hands. You only need to see those 'celebs' photos in jogging bottoms and without make up and see how different people can look in the right light, right clothes etc.

Dating organisations, some may be better than others. I met my dh through one. I like the look of eHarmony, they have some weekends where joining is free, I believe. Although I have never used their servies specifically. I would use all the usual care you use when meeting anyone f you go down the dating agency route.

Lovelyholiday I am so glad all went well with your operation. I wish you well in your future journey.

Can I ask if you know the man well, and how well, Lovelyholiday? I would say to be careful, co-parenting with a stranger (someone you do not know well) may sound fine now but years down the line will it be? If it feels not right to proceed then you can stop. Just be aware you are linking yourself to someone you do not know very well at all (I am assuming) and it is a far stronger link than marriage. Would you marry someone you hardly knew? I'd rather have an anonymous donor or ask a really good friend.

In terms of anonymous donor sperm, the law in the UK now is that the child (if there is one) has a right to information on their genetic father and their identity, but I thin it is not until they reach 18. But to you, they would be anonymous. We had treatment with donor eggs and this was how it was when we had that, (it was unsuccessful, but I think that was my body rather than the eggs - normally the eggs is the thing but my case was complicated, no idea how my precious dd hung on in my inhospitable womb!).

I've debated donor sperm and donor eggs with a lot with people and really all the evidence now in terms of what children think is that you need to be honest with kids, just like adoption, in age appropriate ways. It is only really when children are lied to and find out stuff later that it causes such problems.

Good luck.

Italiangreyhound · 24/06/2016 01:35

What's insulting about make up? Make up sometimes gives people a bit of confidence, it sounds like the OP is lacking in confidence, it doesn't mean she is unattractive and it doesn't mean a man will set up home with her because of make up or because of the lack of it!

But looking good/our best etc leads to confidence and that is something that others find hard to resist. I'd rather live my life without mucking about with make up, but I admit if I go to something where I do want to look extra 'nice' I do wear it and I do dress up.

I once worked for a dating agency and dating like everything else is the start of the journey. my dh met me and we went on 'dates' and fell in love. Now he sees me without make up, and when our daughter was born he saw me looking like I had fallen in a ditch and with medical equipment attached to me, and he had to help me shower! Real love is not at all about make up! But, in order to get to the stage where you care about each other a couple needs to be iterested enough in each other 'attraction' wise at the start.

This is why, IMHO, work place romances are so common. you meet someone at work, don't fancy them, get to know them, like them start to fancy them!

Dating is a bit like the opposite, you meet someone on a blind date, friend sets you up, in the pub, whatever, and you need to decide quickly if you want to invest time in getting to know them. Confidence feels quite contagious and a confident and happy looking person can be very appealing.

If the OP can achieve all that without a make up brush in sight, hooray, much better. But nice clothes, hair cut, make up can sometimesprovide the boost that we need.

Simmi1 · 24/06/2016 01:36

I'm another who met my DH when I was 36, married at age 37, DD1 when I was 38 and dd2 at 39. Conceived both DDs easily - there's time for you yet but I agree probably not 15 years. With dating it really is a numbers game. I met DH online but I did meet quite a few men over the course of 3 years before I met him. I did have to put in the effort to the dating process but it was worth it!

beetroot2 · 24/06/2016 01:39

The need to do what? Bag a man quick :) Im all for women having a child without glaming up and looking for one.

Hackedabove · 24/06/2016 01:43

Another one with a friend who had her first at 42 and second at 44, hadn't met the right man to have children with before.

But I can see why you're feeling sad, have a wallow then pick yourself up.

KC225 · 24/06/2016 01:47

Beetroot. As a further to my previous post where I had stated my facts and figures, I went BACK and re-read Yummy's original post. She claims she is 'as far from attractive as she wants to be'. It struck me you needs to work on her confidence. A make-up lesson was one of several suggestions there. I don't think it's insulting, I didn't say get a lipstick and you'll get a bloke. She may be perfectly groomed, beautifully dressed and have a figure to stop traffic but none of us know. We do know she is not feeling that great and working on herself (not just cosmetic) may boost her up a little.

jaxxyj · 24/06/2016 01:47

I would advise unjust to keep your options open at this stage. My DC twins are the product of donor insemination and are very proud to be so. They have considered themselves special and superwanted since nursery and they are now adults and wouldn't have it any other way.
Look into your options as there is often a long waiting list and you can always change your mind if you feel you aren't ready. NHS cut off point for DI is aged 40 so you still have plenty time. Good luck with what ever you decide but either way you do have some time so don't panic!

Lovelyholiday · 24/06/2016 01:52

Kc225, thank you although it may seem incredible, to me it is very much a need to be met, which I'm determined to do 😀
Italian, I know exactly what you mean, I have considered this, which is why I've searched for a while, (including potential partners) I think I might just be one of those people who like being independent despite being pretty laid back. I have met and chatted daily/weekly with the donor, he actually travels a lot so spends little time in the UK, so essentially I will be very much a line parent (I like this idea) but with the financial backing and a known father.
I'm not someone who easily falls out with people. I just honestly feel this is right for me, we have spoken about new partners etc so both know our feelings on that. For me it's a no brainer for my current situation 😀
Bring on the questions though I'm more than happy to answer anything! Xx

Bogeyface · 24/06/2016 01:58

Further to PP, I was married to my kids father, and I wish that I had had a sperm donor rather than him.

I dont know this for sure of course, but from my own experience I would imagine saying that "Mummy really wanted to have you so a kind man donated his [insert explaination of choice] so I could have you" , would be easier than "I dont know why your father decided to not see you anymore and went on to have more children with his new wife. No I dont know why he didnt pay to help support you. No, I dont think that he really loves you secretly and will come back one day".

If you want to be a mother then be one, dont wait for a man who you may love, who may want kids, who may make it happen. Take control and make it happen yourself. Flowers

Lovelyholiday · 24/06/2016 02:05

Big agree to bogey face! You just never know, even the nice ones might end up trouble a few yrs down the line, so if it's something you want just go for it, my feeling on this is I've still got 40 yrs to meet my soulmate, but I've only got a short season in my life to make my life 😁 I'm excited for the future xx

geekymommy · 24/06/2016 02:11

If you do go the sperm donor route, try to find one without sleep problems. I'm sitting with my badly-sleeping 11 month old right now. Only have a child with a poor sleeper if you love him, I'm just saying.

Italiangreyhound · 24/06/2016 02:12

lovelyholiday glad you have thought it through.

Lovelyholiday · 24/06/2016 02:37

Geeky 😂 God bless!
Italian I've done nothing but. But I love new questions on the subject as it makes me answer them, that way I really do know if im doing the right thing or not.
Hope you get some sleep, this referendum is keeping me from my sleep...

beetroot2 · 24/06/2016 02:39

If you want a baby and I did then go for it, don't wait around to meet some bloke.

beetroot2 · 24/06/2016 02:54

Certainly don't turn yourself into a "doll' to try and get some bloke to want to have sex with you. Do it your way.

CaoNiMa · 24/06/2016 03:01

I'm surprised, Imperial. I thought better of you.

beetroot2 · 24/06/2016 03:06

as I'm sure you might get. I don't agree with pandering to get a man. OP if you want to give birth to a child that you would love more than anything then do it. do whatever it took and just go for it. That child would have a better upbringing than most. Ive seen children born from couples that fuck their kids up royally.

creamponies · 24/06/2016 03:09

I am to nearly 35 I have problems and so does my dp. But in fact I started to.resent my dp.as he had very little sperm. So the only way for us to have a child via ivf. But I couldn't.as my bmi after long thought I don't think I.want to do ivf. I just accepted now after.5.years of long trying but you know what you dont kids to have a meaningful.life the constant worries battles. And its refreshing sometimes you might get.what you wish for. But it might not be a happy life . Have you considered if you had a child with special needs and you cope ?

creamponies · 24/06/2016 03:17

I realized thats it fine to have no kids and I madethe decision to stop treAtment I have pcos and endo. You know what its great.I can do.all.the things I.want to do plenty of lie ins , holidays. Sometimes havein a child a child is easy compared to rearing them.

beetroot2 · 24/06/2016 03:21

I had a child out of wedlock and from a bloke. I didn't care about him in the slightest, in fact, it got on my nerves that I had to say there was a father. OP go for it and don't put them false eyelashes on or wear those stupid heals. Bring another human being into the world if you're prepared to be selfless and want that. I did and guess what it was the best thing I ever did.