The cat is BU, surely?

[eggpoacher]

I have a happy, healthy cat who lacks nothing and gets plenty of attention.
Her number one favourite activity is to lie in the garden miaowing to herself in a kind of pained way as if she's having the worst day of her feline life. She doesn't want/need anything - she just can't seem to tell the difference between her 'purr' switch and her 'make a heart-rending racket' switch.
The neighbours look at me suspiciously as if they're about to report me for neglect any minute. Random strangers and delivery people also comment on it.
What is this madness? She's BVU, no?

Cats are never unreasonable.

One of mine doesn't know the difference between a 'I love you, give me attention' miaow and a 'omg you're standing on my tail' miaow. The number of times I've tried to scratch her head while her tails stuck in the door

Cats are furry attention seekers. Mine give me evils if I feed them food they have suddenly decided they no longer like

Of course YABU - clearly your underappreciated cat's particular whims are being neglected.

What meatloaf put.

There is nothing else to say on the subject.

My cat bastard has just puked all over DS' bed

Mine can't miaow at all. The nearest she gets is '...eep'.

This is a problem when you have a disaster-prone cat who regularly gets stuck up trees/behind beds/in the neighbour's shed, and she sits there silently mewing for rescue, then huffs at you for taking so long.

Now that's unreasonable.

Very unreasonable. My 17 year old westie cries for attention and because he's going blind he flinches if you move too quickly near him - I'm sure people must think he's mistreated. He's very pampered and well looked after just a big baby that wants petted all the time.

Unreasonable?
I think I have seen fuzzy cat twice this week...
And he will still expect food the second he decides to return

We have 1 silent miaower and one extreamly vocal one who if she was human would probably swear a lot and read the DM

My cat is yowling right now. He can't miaow nicely it's an angry sounding "yooooAAAAAWwwwww" with a loud bit in the middle. British Shorthairs are typically not very vocal but no one seems to have told him.

Mine came and told me that dh had told her off for sharpening her claws on stair carpet.
She was most put out, he was being most unreasonable

As soon as I take a phone call one of ours will find me and sit at my head and yowl down the phone, if I move he follows me and tries to trip me up

The cats are the bosses

Is she going deaf perhaps? My neighbour's cat was deaf and as a result she wailed like a newborn baby crying all the time!

My cat is so desperate for attention all the fucking time that she spends most of her time getting between me and whatever I'm doing and sticking her arse in my face. Contrary to clichés about cat hygiene, she always has a grubby arse aswell.

My cat has just wiped/dragged her backside over DH's favourite cushion. As DH really annoyed me this morning....... I am going to 'not plump/touch the cushion' AIBU?

YABVVU

You should carry him around on a special pillow.

KC, your DH has a favourite cushion?!
No feline boss friend is ever unreasonable

Definitely not going deaf - she can tell when I'm opening the fridge from miles away. And yowl about it, even if it's a mere three minutes after her generous portion of elevenses.

Cats are emotionally abusive. We would never put up with that kind of treatment from human companions.

One of mine is sulking because DP is working away. She's a daddy's girl and only tolerates me because I feed her when he is not there. She then reminds me how much she despises me by sitting on my lap for a cuddle and then slapping me across the face.

Cats are bastards.
Bastard cats.
But so, so cute and furry.........

Hastar:- He claims it is the perfect cushion. Even the kids laugh and call him Goldilocks with his perfect cushion.

So this morning's tells me he has acceptance invitation to his Mother's for midsummer (in Sweden its a big deal) without running it by me first. Mother is difficult

Hence me wanting to high five/paw the cat arse dragging on cushion

who if she was human would probably swear a lot and read the DM
LOL

My dad's cat who is about 28 years old disemboweled a mouse the night before I visited this weekend and left it on the brown rug in my room rendering it invisible, so intricately was it placed onto the swirly patterns.

I stood on it with bare feet and screamed, and my dad told me off for frightening his poor beloved old cat who hasn't hunted since 1991. Said cat glowered at me from my dad's arms and then got taken downstairs for a frothy milk while I wiped mouse entrails out from between my toes.

My cat is VERY vocal, sometimes just loves the sound of his own voice.

Bengal. Don't need to say any more really