So far this year, Mumsnet has taught me.....

[YouAreMySweetestDownfall]

Fanny is a very naughty word in Scotland,

That loads of people hate the expression 'little man' (guilty)!

That there are other toddlers out there that refuse to go to bed and actually for many parents there's fuck all you can do but ride it out.

Mumsnetters can offer a wealth of experience, advice and hand holding and it can make a massive difference in your life.

And loads more things but wanted to keep it lighthearted. How about you?

The reverse sticker trick.

To be blunt and lose my shit temper with people when they ask rude, intrusive questions as a gaggling hoard.

To put the man who called me 'girl' in his rightful place. And not be afraid to do so. Wouldn't have done that pre MN.

Oh yeah, and you are not supposed to use soap on your delicate bits

Hmm, see there was an MJ thread but it got deleted.

That some people wash towels after only one wash, colour code pegs, care about which way the toilet roll is hung!

I've learned that in RL I don't know anyone like 95% of the people who post on MN

Apparently if your teenage child is caught shoplifting you should ignore the calls from security and police so they can spend a night in police cells to teach them a lesson!
Despite all the recent media reports about police forces getting into trouble for keeping children in cells due to no SS or MH beds being available. Never mind the idea that you can just treat police cells like your very own naughty corner and tell the local custody sergeant that you will pop by in the morning.
I was seriously flabbergasted by that thread

To cancel the cheque

Barbara In any thread about Center Parcs, someone has to mention anal sex....Say what?!!.

Looking to book to go in May - haven't been before - I could easily be persuaded that Menorca would be a better idea?!....

You're new, aren't you, Peachy?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1385104-Center-Parcs-Anal-sex

That no matter how generous you've been to someone, you must always pay them back for the £1 pint of milk/ loaf of bread they bought you as it's apparently "different". I swear to god there are some grabby tight fisted bastards posting here.

That it's more polite to say what than pardon still think it's bollocks.

You're new, aren't you, Peachy? grin

Not that new Old - but obviously as green as I am cabbage looking - Fill me in!.

Oh my bloody God Old - that thread is gold!.

Do and I reading it in tears!.

He says he is now even more keen on booking up....

DP and I! - not Do....

That pineapples don't grow on trees.

Actually some of us DO pee from our vags, I know this because I thought everyone did, and was disabused of this fact by MN, who then persuaded me to crouch in the bath and pee on a mirror.

I still can't believe I actually did that. We're all different, heh.

That the hole in the middle of the pasta utensil is for measuring a portion of spaghetti! Amazing!

What what! Hang on diva, I'm about to learn here, do you mean the thing you serve spaghetti up in? Weird spoon thing? I can accurately measure spaghetti and not guess and get it wrong every single time? I need a rice one too then, I can't get that right either despite cooking it for the last 17 years!

Yes beyourself the weird pointy spoon thing! Tried it last night, first time I have every cooked spaghetti and not had enough for the whole street! Life changing. If you ever hear of the equivalent one for rice let me know!

OMG! My life has changed!

Someone on MN must know a rice one!

Unicorn half a small cup of rice per person cook in one cup of water per person.

Home Bargains have a new range of measury stuff in now. All the portion control you could ever need, in glorious Technicolor

I've learned:

You should ask your children what they would like for birthdays, but if they expect to receive it, they're spoilt beads, if you buy it you will turn them into self important needy failures and if you don't buy it you're an abuser and someone should call social services.

That some people are genuinely fucking stupid.

That if you breast feed up until about 6 months to a year you're the mother Teresa, but after that you must have seruous issues and will damage your child forever. Bottle feed your baby and you can expect to be flamed for being a selfish and undeserving mother, who should instantly whip out your nipples and resume the way nature intended whether you're producing milk or not. Because having grown a baby in your uterus means your nipples should do what society expects them to do from now on.

People are prepared to waste good money, time and effort on locating a lump of wax.

If you say you feed your children fruit and vegetables and they drink water you are either a cruel depriving joyless bitch for not filling them with lucozade and haribo, or you're lying. If you occasionally treat them to macdonalds you should probably face the electric chair.

😊

The petrol light thing is wrong. Been spouted on here for years!