Aibu to train my 4 yr old to kick arse

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Okay so slightly tongue in cheek but my lovely 4 yo ds is quite small for his age. He's quite confident but seems to be on the receiving end of rough and tumble with bigger boys at soft play etc I think because he's small. Obviously we teach him about being kind etc but I also want him to be able to stick up for himself. At present if I told him to hit someone back he'd tell me that's not kind mummy, and he's quite right bless him. I'm wondering how best to do this? Would some sort of judo type class fit the bill?

I think it might, but shop around. There are some tin pot dictators out there running classes that look like cults.

My DS is doing karate and learning how to block blows and protect himself. It is helping his physical confidence. The atmosphere of the class (both sexes, all ages, helping each other to practise the moves, being polite to the 'sensei' (teacher)) is good discipline too. It is not teaching aggression so much as movement, self control and self-defence.

It will be the best gift that you can give your child if you do. Martial arts are not about kicking someone into oblivion, they are about respect, motivation, discipline and lastly the ability to defend yourself in a fight, not cause one.

My DS started kickboxing because he was being picked on and his confidence was in shreds. His dojo became his safe place and his self esteem rose with every grading. He has only ever needed to defend himself once since and that was this year at high school. An older kid tried to sucker punch him, my son blocked the move and used his skills to keep this kid out of his personal space.

If he had not got the self discipline which has been installed in him, he could have really.hurt this kid even though DS was younger. He spars with adults and wins.

My Dd was in the same position and we went with kick boxing.

Both Dd and ds do it. Their confidence has lifted so much.

Sensei is clear though, as they are trained they also have to accept responsibility. Defending themselves is fine, but they have to have the discipline to control it.

It's really improved ds' concentration at school. I even joined and I love it.

Judo is definitely the best choice - my DH is a small man (5'6, a little over 11 stone) and is quite accomplished in judo. It is a discipline that uses your opponent's size against them, so being small is not a negative.

With that said, choose your school carefully. You want one that teaches the youngsters de-escalation and avoidance techniques to use before anything becones physical.

Being able to hold his own in horseplay is not a reason to train your son in martial arts...

I can't stress enough how martial arts can be great for kids for all the reasons already mentioned above. Any decent sensei will never advocate using it unless absolutely necessary for self defence but they gain so much in confidence and self respect the potential need for them to use it diminishes as they become a much less attractive target as their confidence grows.

In our club we have a lot of parents who train with their kids (my youngest has recentlyd achieved his black belt) and it's a great thing to do together if that appeals to you.

Do research though, get recommendations and go watch some classes and ensure they're part of a larger governing body.

Avoid like the plague any martial arts school that only wants you to sign up for lengthy subscriptions and charge a fortune for gradings. We offer free training for the first month so people can give it a try :-)

Good idea and one we're going to use with DD. She is the other way; big and can be too rough. She needs to learn control and respect. Martial arts is a good place for that.

I was going to write a similar post Op, my ds is the same, always seems to be on the receiving end at soft play or in pre school.

Am going to look for a few clubs he can join now and hope thee are some locally, I always assumed he would be a bit too young for them but obviously not.

ThAnks for the replies, all really helpful. Lots of benefits as well as being able to defend yourself, I think I will look for something. There seems to be the odd one that starts at four buddahbelly, mostly karate.

Ds was just four when he started kick boxing. Our dojo doesn't take them earlier.

Ds went to a self defense class, and I think that they're a very good idea. Unfortunately, he gave it up after a few weeks as it clashed with another hobby he loved. I think that he benefitted even after a few sessions.