"Benefits scum" ***[[ quote marks added by MNHQ for clarity ]]

[TheseLittleEarthquakes]

I've had three separate conversations this weekend when this term has come up. My mother got wind of me applying for PIP and let me know in no uncertain terms that she thinks it's disgusting as DH earns a good wage, and I'm not actually 'disabled'.

Then my sister was complaining about the ratio of disabled spaces to p&c spaces and told me in a shocked way that you can get a blue badge even if you can walk, and that its scummy of people with MH issues for eg to have a blue badge. She said that benefits scum were making it hard for parents (wtf?).

And then thirdly my mum was having a bitch about her niece, who has never worked and has a child, and how she's living the 'benefits lifestyle' when benefits should only ever be a safety net and not a lifestyle choice.

I'm on ESA and have been for a over a year. I'm applying for PIP. I have quite serious MH issues.

AIBU to think my family are just utter arseholes and that all these comments are really fucking hurtful? I ended up just walking away from all three conversations because I don't have the headspace to argue with them.

How would you prove such a thing?

It is no wonder you have MH issues with a mother like that!
I blame the Conservatives and their attacks on benefits claimants. My ex is fully blind and walks with a white cane. He has always had people make disablist comments eg sp*z, however in the last 5 years he has got a new insult; "benefits faker".
I would recommend you put some distance between yourself and your mum. According to a psychiatrist all my MH issues were caused by my parents and yours do not sound much better.

I think its more like learning disabillity and or severe autism Floggingmolly, although i still cant get a blue badge for my non verbal severley autistic six yr old son as he only gets MRC And LRM ,DLA

Yes, sounds more like mental disability than mental health to me too DailyMail
Autism etc are mental and sometimes physical disabilities, not mental illnesses (though they can certainly result in mental illnesses)

I don't think the OP has MH issues mrgrouper She just said she qualifies for PIP and her sister had made a comment about people with MH issues getting blue badges and people like her cousin living a 'benefits lifestyle'. I don't think the comments were directly related to her. That's how I read it, anyway. If I'm wrong on that OP then I'm sorry, my posts aren't very sensitive if that's what you're dealing with and I wouldn't have picked up on it. As a rather chronically mentally ill person I just get a bit sensitive about it being synonymised (is that a word??) with disability but that is my issue to deal with and I shouldn't have put it on you if that's your reality right now.

I thought the blue badge was more about physical access, that is, wider parking spaces and shorter distance to shop etc?

its about safety too. My DD can run and has one.

can run and needs hung on to to keep her safe otherwise she is in severe danger.

As fanjo says it can be safety ds has no mobility problems but due to hia ASD and learning disabilities has no awarenesss of safety either.

There are several people in my immediate family with long term MH problems who manage to work and not claim benefits but I suppose everyone is different.

Lots of people with mental health problems can work Marmalade i was an RMN for many years people can have long periods of stability even with a diagnosis of say schizophrenia some cant though if there mental health is unstable and often with that comes a chaotic life style mental health covers such a broad spectrum.

Ds has a bb for asd, severe learning difficulties and challenging behaviour. It wasn't automatic as he doesn't get high rate mobility dla.

thats awful haddock, sounds like he should get HRM too.

Well I have reported the posts from save effectively saying that the majority of disabled people claiming PIP are actually just benefit fraudsters.

It will be interesting to see if the new MNHQ rule of two strikes and you're out will be applied to this poster as they have made more than one disablist comment like this on this very thread, plus deletion messages advising what they have been deleted for.

I trust we won't be expected to "educate" ignorant disablist people like this who clearly can't be reasoned with despite people's best intentions on this thread. Why should we have to put up with comments like this?

Standard rate mobility on the movement section gives you a blue badge.

I claim pip. I work but pip allows me to live a more independent life without flooring myself.

People seem to forget their family allowance now child benefit would have made them a benefit claimant!

Ignore the narrow mindedness. PIP is not an easy benefit to get and the fraud is the lowest out of all the benefits.

So, I've just recently separated from my very abusive husband.
I have 2 pre school children and don't work.
I've claimed every benefit I'm entitled too.
I am studying and will qualify in the next year and at the point I will find employment.
Most of my family have been supportive and expressed that I should claim benefits as that's what it is there for.

However a few people have made comments like
'How long are you going to live off the state for then?'
'I guess it's ok cos you did pay into the public pot when you worked... I wonder how long what you paid IN will las. Compared to how much you are taking OUT....'

And my favourite:
'Should I pay the tax to HMRC or just hand it straight over to you then?' Followed by many belly laughs at their own wittlessness wittiness...

I've stopped talking to that last one as he's a twat.
Benefits are there for people in need. You sound in need. So they are there for you.
Remove toxic people from your life and your life improves.
Your family sound like hard work and bitter people. Lamenting the fact they don't qualify and doing so by belittling the people that do.

Just a reminder though in the spirit of educating, can I point out that Carer's Allowance is £63.10 a week for providing a minimum of 35 hours a week care for someone in receipt of higher rate DLA/PIP.

And there's no fucking free car either, btw.

I'm not sure DH would see giving up a full time job earning over four times this amount in a week, and helping me dress like a toddler and carrying me down the stairs as a good trade off.

But don't let that stop twats people going on about what a "cushy number" it is.

MrsDeathOfRats Good luck with your studies and more power to your elbow

Its frightening how the Govt makes it ok to hate a group and suddenly loads of people come crawling out of the woodwork eager to join in.

I dont disagree with your mum re her niece, i hate that people can choose never to work.
I've no issue people needing benefits through ill health/loss of job for period of time etc. Only those who use it as a lifestyle (my neighbours as an example )
So i agree they are being arsey in tersm of your first 2 points.

Or standard/middle it doesn't need to be higher for carers.

Fanjo, we are hoping he will get hrm next year when his dla comes up for renewal. Getting the bb was always more important but I think he should also get hrm.

save There is so much wrong with your post I barely know where to start.

Putting it on at the GP and consultants. Firstly, I'm now sure how I managed to fake all those MRI's and X-rays on my spine but somehow I managed it and they are planning to operate on my spine for a second time. 10 years of seeing consultants and surgeons and they haven't seen through my fakery yet. I may take my talent on that Stephen Mulhern show being bandied about on here. I'm sure to win!

And my GP who writes me out prescriptions for hugely expensive drugs and refers me to Mental health appointments must also be taken in by my fabulous fakery.

And finally the PIP assessor who came out for my renewal. I had been on standard rate care but I faked it soooo well I was also put on high rate mobility. How bloody good am I?!

It's disablist comments like yours that make life so hard for people with disabilities, especially hidden disabilities. My dp doesn't claim carers allowance as he's working a NMW job and we manage just find. If I can't get out then he does the stuff I can't manage when he gets home. Or my kids if they get home first.

You are very welcome to my blue badge which enables me to live a relatively normal life as long as you have the daily hassle of trying to hoopla your knickers over your feet while doubled up in pain. Indignity and pain plus dealing with wanky comments like yours. FFS.

PS, good luck in the application for PIP

I'm on support group ESA (contributions based).

I have physical health & mental health problems which have lost me my 20 yr career & left me unable to work at all for the time being, and I doubt I'll ever be able to work full time again in all honesty.

I also became a single mum last year at the same time as losing everything else and I am so grateful for the safety net that we have in this country.

Thankfully nobody has questioned me over my 'benefits lifestyle' yet, but the fact I have rarely been able to leave the house over the last 8 months or so may have a lot to do with that...

I remember feeling an overwhelming sense of 'oh, I must be ill then' when I was awarded Support Group straight away with no appeal - that is how shitty we're all made to feel, as if we're over egging it and putting it on.

Good luck with your PIP application OP

Oh yes, that was a horrible moment for me, I'd only applied for ESA as my previous job were such arseholes about paying me sick pay that I had no choice but to quit. I was put in the support group with no assessment having geared myself up to have to fight for it and I remember thinking, fuck, I really am ill.

MangoMoon, I felt exactly the same as you with the sense of "thank god, I'm obviously ill not imagining it". In fact I'm very similar in terms of having worked all my life and now being unable to.

I'm also on ESA contribution based/support group. Earthquakes, I also thought it wasn't time limited. It is. I had a set of forms a couple of weeks ago to re-apply.

And to the tossers who think they know everything about benefits as some random family member is on them? They're lying. Or misleading you anyway.

Getting PIP/ESA/CA is bloody hard work. Especially if you have MH issues. Sitting while every aspect of your private life is probed. Answering embarrassing questions about your toileting/hygiene/menstrual care abilities. Feeling sick every time you get a brown envelope through the door in case DWP have arbitrarily decided that you are no longer entitled to the small amount of money you need to make your crap life a little better.