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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let DD's go away on their own?

42 replies

eloquentlyineffable · 19/06/2016 19:58

DD's will be 18 & 21 next year and to celebrate their birthdays they are planning a trip to Disneyworld in Florida. They have been saving up the money all on their own and it will be their first holiday abroad by themselves without relatives to stay with.

They will both be adults however the few friends I have mentioned the trip to have said it's mad that I'd let them go so far by themselves!

Am I being unreasonable to let them have this holiday? It will be for 2 weeks and they will spend their time on Disney property, universal studios or at the mall there, and neither will be drinking alcohol at any point or visiting any kind of nightlife (they are not the kind who enjoy that)

What do you think?

OP posts:
cupkakesandkittens · 19/06/2016 19:59

I'd definitely let them go, they're adults and it's they're within the resort the whole time anyway.

RubbleBubble00 · 19/06/2016 19:59

they are 18+ you don't get a say

RedHelenB · 19/06/2016 20:00

You cant "let them" - they're adults!!!

Rumpelstiltskin143 · 19/06/2016 20:00

How are you going to stop them? They're adults.

SharkBaitOohHaha · 19/06/2016 20:00

They're paying for themselves and are both 18+, I'm not really sure where 'let' comes into it, or how you'd go about stopping them from going if you so wanted anyway!

So no, of course YANBU. At 18 I went to Kenya for 5 weeks, completely on my own. Disneyworld is positively tame Grin

NerrSnerr · 19/06/2016 20:00

Does it matter what you think? Wouldn't they just go anyway if you said no? (I would have done if I was paying for it myself)

Feckitall · 19/06/2016 20:00

There is no 'let' about it...Their money, their choice..they are adults..

EatShitDerek · 19/06/2016 20:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Crispbutty · 19/06/2016 20:01

How do you propose to stop them? They are adults. They will probably have an amazing time. And at that age, even if they did drink, so what??

Many 18year olds bugger off to Australia, Thailand etc backpacking, and return unscathed. The USA is no worse.

navylily · 19/06/2016 20:01

I'm not sure how you imagine you could stop them?

They're adults and if it really is their own money they're entitled to do as they wish. Florida isn't exactly a dangerous place either.

LottieDoubtie · 19/06/2016 20:01

Er in the nicest possible way they are adults you don't get a veto!

RainIsAGoodThing · 19/06/2016 20:02

It's completely fine. Your friends sound mad.

Any anyway, even if you did decide it wasn't okay - what would you do to stop them?!

cardibach · 19/06/2016 20:03

They're adults. You aren't 'letting' them and you are not in any position to stop them! In any case, it doesn't get much safer than Disneyworld. The only thing id question is why people that age would want to go there when there is so much real world to visit. DD went to Thailand to volunteer on her own last year at 19. Was I nervous for her? Of course. Did I show it? Of course not. She's an adult, able to think and plan for herself.

KissMyArse · 19/06/2016 20:04

18 and 21 years old is old enough I would say.

You know your girls so if you are happy about it then it's nobody else's business to be honest.

I bet they'll have a lovely time.

branofthemist · 19/06/2016 20:06

How would you stop them?

As an aside can either of them drive over there?

Original poster
eloquentlyineffable · 19/06/2016 20:06

Just to clarify - I'm fine with it! I'm aware I couldn't do anything anyway but I've never had a problem with it, I understand they are adults going somewhere perfectly safe and honestly am just pleased they are spending time together! Grin

Good to know I'm not being a bad parent for not having any issues with it though!

OP posts:
pinkpeter1 · 19/06/2016 20:07

You're a bit deluded if you think they don't drink!

AlwaysDancing1234 · 19/06/2016 20:07

They are adults and it sounds like they are sensible enough too.
At 18 I was living in my own flat and fending for myself and had been on several holidays, none as sensible sounding as Disneyland!
Give them advice on staying safe, make sure they have insurance and know who to contact if ill or in trouble and wave them off on a fantastic holiday Smile

Crispbutty · 19/06/2016 20:07

You didnt really make that clear in your op though tbh :)

Pinkheart5915 · 19/06/2016 20:09

At there ages I don't really think you get a say, They are more than Older enough.

Your friends saying it's mad to let them go, are the crazy ones you can't control what somebody of that age does Confused

I certainly started going away a few times a year with friends at 18, we had a great times.

AlwaysDancing1234 · 19/06/2016 20:09

And not all 18 year olds will get drunk the minute they leave their parents - you know your kids best. Myself and some of my friends were teetotal even at 18 and managed holidays to USA, Tenerife, Cyprus without touching a drop of alcohol, it is possible!

Lules · 19/06/2016 20:10

It is hard to drink in America if you aren't 21 as you will get ID'd if you look even vaguely young-ish

DebbieFiderer · 19/06/2016 20:11

My sister and I went to Vegas on our own at the same age, was all fine, we had a great time (even though I did have to deal with an issue that stopped us going home as planned, the details of which would out me!).

Original poster
eloquentlyineffable · 19/06/2016 20:13

"You're a bit deluded if you think they don't drink"

Not necessarily that they 'don't drink', it's more that both girls have always disliked house parties and frequently come to me for help making up excuses as to how to get out of going out on a saturday night as they want to stay in Grin They just don't enjoy that kind of thing, I wouldn't mind either way to be honest with you as long as they were safe!

OP posts:
PortiaCastis · 19/06/2016 20:14

They are adults. I had left home and was living with dp and dd at 18