To sometimes wonder how people afford their lifestyles?

[Babysafari]

Most people that I know appear to have really nice lifestyles. New cars, really nice houses all done out immaculate and on nice roads. Holidays abroad several times a year to nice places too. I've also noticed that most of the parents at school pick their dc up themselves (I'm on maternity leave). There are loads of dads at the school gates too and a lot of mums and dads do the school runs together. A lot of these people are really young too.

One of the dads is a road sweeper so won't be being paid loads and his wife doesn't work, yet they are always doing the school run together but they seem to have the above lifestyle.

Me and dh have a decent household income, hardly rich but 50k, we're not struggling at all but our cars are old, we can only afford cheap holidays, dh works really long hours and is never there for school runs.

I'm not being deliberately envious, logically I know they could have family help or anything I guess people just make it look so easy, I wonder how they do it.

[yougotitdude]

My grandparents died last year. Mum and my aunt have just sold their house and it is their intention to split the proceeds between us grandchildren (4 of us). They brought it for virtually nothing 40 years ago and obviously has increased in value over time. Its what happens. Just like I have a friend who lived in London and managed to sell her flat for £200k more than she got it for.

It happens at times. Call it luck...it just happens. And people who don't understand it or like it- I can only assume it's jealousy?

[KeemaNaanAndCurryOn]

You never know what is happening behind closed doors. My DH does a manual job and I'm on ESA, but we've had 2 new cars and 2 foreign holidays.

That's because I lost someone and had a small inheritance.

I'd rather still have the person alive, but that's why we look like we're living a higher life than we actually are.

[VinoTime]

People probably give DD and I the look quite often regarding this, OP. I've also had some fairly shockingly rude comments thrown my way from work colleagues about how we can "possibly afford" our lifestyle. The brass neck on some folk, honestly. We are not a wealthy family. Not by any means. I'm a single parent to one child, I receive no maintenance from DD's dad and my income is low enough that I get generously topped up by tax credits every month. We've actually been living pretty much on the breadline these last 4 months as I've been off work sick, though I'm back now so hopefully things will pick up again However, outward appearances would never tell you any of that because:

• We live in a beautiful little house in a lovely area of town. What people don't know is that we don't own it. We rent it from close family members for half the market rate. They also cover the gas and electric at no extra cost.
  

• We wear lovely clothes. That are mostly charity shop bought or hunted down in the sales.
  

• We go on quite a few trips/holidays. We haven't been anywhere this year due to financial constraints, but last year we were away every chance we got. I can afford to do this because there are only two of us and I look out for bargains. We also take full advantage of cheap coach trips where all travel, hotel, food and excursion ticket costs are covered.
  

I'm clever with my money. I know how to bargain hunt and I will happily spend my Friday's wandering from shop to shop in search of the better deals. Our bills are kept low (£10 a month sim only mobile contract, using Netflix as it works out cheaper than a TV licence, etc.), I don't own a car and I don't spend frivolously. We don't go on expensive days out, we make full use of the parks/woods/free activities in town and DD's after school hobbies are available through a council run membership, meaning she can do as many classes as she wants for around £11 a month. I don't have any credit cards, everything in my house is bought and paid for and there's no inheritance money. I'm just very aware of saving in some areas to afford in others. It can be done without racking up debt.

[goddessoftheharvest]

In my area, it's usually three reasons

Big rural families, where every member had their own house. Now the next generations are smaller, so people my age are getting left houses by one of their childless great aunts etc. Nothing big or fancy, but they are mortgage/rent free by age 30. So even if they aren't massively high earners, they have quite a bit more disposable cash than you'd expect

The same big family means that when kids come along, it's rare for anyone to need to pay for childcare, maybe a day here or there with a childminder at most

Thirdly, debt and credit cards. This is where the house being inherited can backfire. I have a friend who is in a lot of debt because she had to modernise the house she inherited

Things like holidays, people think nothing of putting them on Cc. I know loads who do it, and they have quite a smart system of paying it back so it's manageable

I don't say that to be judgey by the way. I struggle with understanding finances at that level,or I'm sure I'd do it myself

[RebelandaStunner]

If you are lucky/unlucky(by losing a loved one) enough to inherit a house or part share of these days that's like a lottery win because of huge property value increases in the last few years.

[TooMuchMNTime]

Vino "We also take full advantage of cheap coach trips where all travel, hotel, food and excursion ticket costs are covered. "

Ooh where do you find these please?

[ouryve]

That's the "free car" you get on disability benefits shazzaroney

[karalime]

I used to scoff at car leases but I totally understand it now.

My colleagues car died, she can't work without one and she did not have £1000 to drop on another banger. So she got an 09 corsa for £80pm, and you can get brand new ones for £120pm

Sure it's cheaper to buy outright, but most people do not have that choice. Sometimes taking on debt is the logical option

[Lilylonglegs]

I'm sure people wonder the same thing about me. I was unemployed and still went on holidays because a) they were already booked and fully paid for and b) I had savings. Even now my savings have diminished and I work part time so low income but I still fully enjoy my life,ie still go on holiday every 3-4 months. Luckily I work from home so don't have to pay for transport and can still work while away and my mortgage is interest only so my outgoings are low. No Sky or monthly subscriptions, no shopping sprees, as I hate clothes shopping anyway, my outgoings are pretty low. I don't have a car though.

[Lilylonglegs]

Oh and to add I never pay more that £200 for a flight by only booking error fares. So you could see me in Bali and think WOW but truth is a week in Bali is not going to cost me more than £400.

[Iflyaway]

OP, I think you have to go for what you want in life instead of checking out everyone else's life style and how they afford it..... Cos that way frustration and madness lies...

Who really gives a fuck - You will never find out anyway..

[Iflyaway]

No car and Bali is my kind of life-style too Lily!

We all have priorities in life. Not my business to question others'.

[Lilylonglegs]

Ifyaway YAAAAY to Bali!

[TooMuchMNTime]

Lily, what's an error fare?
Good to learn tips, this thread could be handy!

[NewBallsPlease00]

To most people this will be me ATM
Nice house, nice area
Nice car
School run mum
Well presented dressed and clean
Multiple holidays
But..
I'm on ML yet in a crowded school playground would just look like a pick up drop off with a younger child
People would be suprised at my job and level of seniority/ I'm just xx mum to many
House/ started young and decent equity along way had hugely helped us now- at the cost of being v careful in our younger days should have done fun holidays without kids
Car- company car
Holidays- family are abroad and help out with flights, no accommodation costs usually
So/ we can afford it all but what they see now isn't real. When I'm back to work try won't even see me. And then I'll be manic mum dropping off at breakfast club at 7am and screeching in for pick up at 6pm
Then it will be 'sell out' mum who 'has it all' financially because of crazy career- yet financially will have outsourced life to try and balance home and have a dime left if I'm lucky....
Looks are deceiving unless you know stuff behind it

[Playduh]

My DH's ex boss worked like an utter bastard for thirty years, sold his company and thanks to that and success in the housing market they both retired at a shade under fifty. They also had their DD late so that's why they may look a bit at the school gates.

Maybe some of your suspects managed the same?

[sandgrown]

Well done Vino. We have lots of holidays but I always search for cheap offers. We are lucky to have friends abroad who kindly invite us to stay .

[Purplepicnic]

Can we remember that these people who may have lovely life styles due to inheritance have probably lost a parent.

I know someone who lives in a beautiful £500K house mortgage free. She'd give it up in a second to have her beloved Mum and dad back.

[NotYoda]

ABC

Do you know the OP?
Was she even talking to you?
Weird

OP I also wonder

[NotYoda]

This thread is interesting. Naturally no-one really knows about others' lives unless they anonymously explain how it works for them. It's interesting

[mountaintoclimb]

What's an error fare?

[barabasiAlbert]

People do things differently.

I got into stock/share trading when I was at uni - every single time I got any cash, I bought shares with it, or put it into a term deposit. I wore the same scruffy clothes until they fell off me, didn't own a car, ate basic food, and funded myself by working my backside off academically, to make sure I had scholarships from the middle of school, through undergraduate uni & PhD, then research fellowships at Oxbridge that paid fairly little but gave me free accommodation and food. All my travel was work-related, so if I wanted to go somewhere i had to get a grant to pay for it; didn't take any holidays other than days here and there tacked onto conference/research trips. DH did much the same.

So by the time we left the studenty lifestyle, aged 34 we had basically been spending all our money on shares, and not much else. We moved to a nice small university town in the middle of nowhere, where it's cheap to live.

With (less than half of) what our shares had earnt, we managed to buy outright the kind of house that gets envious comments from our friends who are 10 years younger, left the studenty lifestyle at the end of undergrad uni, have had kids, pay for nursery, etc. We've only felt financially secure enough to feel able to try for kids since around the time we bought our house. I'm pregnant with our first child - and we should be financially secure enough to put him through school and university, and buy one or more houses in future.

Meanwhile - my sister, with exactly the same upbringing, but no motivation to do anything with money other than spend it on nice things, lives in luxury in a large, expensive city, with mountains of stuff, but is no longer allowed to have a credit card as she's racked up so much debt and been bailed out by parents so many times. Basically every time she wants anything - house deposit in posh suburb, flash car, foreign holiday, private school fees for her child - she goes running to our parents. They say "oh, the poor thing, she has such a hard life, it's so expensive to live where she does" and pay for it without blinking. That's been happening since she was a teenager.

To the outside world we probably both look like trustafarians, but the mechanisms are rather different...

[3amEternal]

Of the people I know:
Some have their own businesses and pay minimal tax, put cars through as expenses, etc.
Some are in highly paid private sector jobs.
Some rent new cars rather than own.
Parents help or have received inheritance.
Got on housing ladder at a young age and benefitted from rises.
Debt.