WIBU to have spoken to the manager?

[sparepantsandtoothbrush]

I was in the supermarket with 11yo DS earlier. The cashier completely ignored me but was chatting happily to DS asking him what he had planned for the weekend and talking about football. Then the cashier asked DS if he has a PS4. DS replied that he has an xbox one and the cashier said "oh that's a shame, I was going to ask if I could add you as a friend"

I paid for my shopping whilst wondering if maybe I'd misheard. Walked away from the till and asked DS what had been said and he confirmed it was what I thought I'd heard. I asked DS what he thought about that and he said it made him feel uncomfortable.

So I spoke to the manager who took it seriously and said he'd deal with it appropriately. He asked if I was happy to leave it there and I said I was. All fine.

But when I told DH what had happened he said the cashier was probably just making conversation and I've got him in to trouble for no reason. Would you have reported the cashier?

I agree, I don't see anything wrong with chatting with children about games - it's the step further of asking to add them as friends that is disturbing.

I don't think learning difficulties are important either as they need to be told it's would not have been appropriate to ask a child to be friends on a gaming network. They don't need to be sanctioned in anyway but a conversation about what small talk is OK should happen.

Call me a cynic...

Or a troll hunter.

I am quite surprised that the DH wouldn't report a 30 year old man, asking his 11 year old child to add him as a friend.

I can't really think of anyone I know who wouldn't report that to the manager.

Although having said that, the conversation obviously hasn't come up in RL.

You are saying the Op is lying' which is really the same as saying she is trolling.

I'm not entirely sure what record you think I need to change though. Do please elucidate.

The cashier didn't ask the OP's DS to add him as a friend.

The OP said that he said that if the DS had a PS4 he would have asked if he could have added DS as a friend: a subtle but distinct difference.

quite surprised that the DH wouldn't report a 30 year old man, asking his 11 year old child to add him as a friend.

I imagine the difference is that the cashier didn t actually ask the child to add him as a friend.

A 30year old!! You definitely did the right thing. Even if the cashier is completely innocent and perhaps connects better with younger people it is not appropriate. I can't think of any time it would be appropriate unless the 30 year old was a family member or close family friend.

A female cashier told me yesterday that she would chase me and tickle to laugh since I was juggling things and didn't have a carrier bag

Cand I think that is bloody weird too. Im sure there was context but still...

Make small talk, be polite, complete transaction and move on. Thats all that needs to be done here.

The OP said that he said that if the DS had a PS4 he would have asked if he could have added DS as a friend: a subtle but distinct difference.

Yes, so right there ^^ is an admission from a 30 year old man that he would have asked a child if he could add him, if he could have.

Therefore imo he needed reporting.

How have I changed my tune? I still don't think the age matters. I would have reported it whatever age he was. Other posters seem to think his age IS relevant which is why I've said how old I think he was.

I expect the supermarket manager thought you were a nutter. Although it does creep me out supermarket cashiers making friendly conversation when they do not know me.

I was acquainted with a person who was convicted of serious offences against children when he was not yet an adult himself.

If you are not a parent, or do not work in an environment where child protection is drummed into you, it would not even enter your head that this would be an inappropriate thing to say to a child.

OP I think you did the right thing for the reasons that SoupDragon has given.

If you are not a parent, or do not work in an environment where child protection is drummed into you, it would not even enter your head that this would be an inappropriate thing to say to a child.

Seriously?

I think most grown men know that trying to befriend strange children and encouraging them to play/chat to them online, is pretty inappropriate.

I don't think YWBU.

It made you uncomfortable. He'll be told it makes people uncomfortable and not to do that again (I doubt he'll be fired over it unless he has form). Result = other people don't feel uncomfortable.

Age/gender don't matter. You were ignored by the cashier (you, being the customer) who only spoke to your child. The cashier expressed disappointment at being unable to "friend" your child, it made you and your child uncomfortable.

Had the cashier greeted the mother with a smile, then spoken to the child about their weekend, then about what games they like, all non-committal, then said goodbye to both child and mother.... no dramas. The cashier needs to be told (and would have ignored the mother but can't ignore the manager).

It's not unreasonable to let the cashier's manager know that the staff need reminding about lines and which shouldn't be crossed.

The cashier not only steered the conversation towards computer games but also mentioned he would have added the OPs son as a friend.

It was a weird thing to do and NO amount of people questioning the cashiers' gender or motive changes that.

Worra

Did you not get any sleep last last night? You seem to be having comprehension issues today.