to ask about church baby and toddler groups?

[CillianMurphysOtherWife]

am considering going to a church baby and toddler group but am really not religious and don't want to be preached to and I don't want them to think i'm being cheeky by coming if it's only meant for their followers

there aren't any non-church ones at a time that works for us

is it a generally accepted thing that the group is just like any baby toddler group, or do they range from "welcoming to anyone and non-preachy" to "downright scary cult recruitment sessions"?

OP I don't know if you're still here & I haven't read the whole thread, I've seen most people are ok about it, but wanted to share my experiences with you -

DS now 16. Went to a church run playgroup when he was about 1, run by the vicar's wife, all very nice etc etc, they knew I was a single mother to a premature baby. Nearly every mum that went was a member of the church.

After a while they encouraged me to go to the church - I thought I'd try it. It was about the time that they gay adoption law was being passed. The vicar reminded the congregation about voting AGAINST it because he said he couldn't stress how damaging it was to children to be brought up by anything other than a mother AND a father. To say I was fucked off was the understatement of the century. We didn't go back!

Found another one about a year later, went along to that. Run by one of the members of the congregation, but not all mothers went to the church. But there a number of times when they tried to practically force me to the Alpha Course. In the end I had to be very blunt but it was really awkward.

So I wouldn't be put off by going to a church playgroup but unless you are religious and want to start going on a Sunday, set your boundaries straightaway!

I used to go to a church toddler group and it wasn't religious in the slightest. I think it's done so that the church feel they are giving somethign back to the community rather than a religious recruitment mission (literal mission!)

They did hand out the church leaflets so that those interested could go to proper church, but that was the extent of it.

I guess if the church is empty during the day and there are people who can use it and church members willing to staff it, it makes sense to use churches for this kind of thing.

sorry that didn't exactly make sense. The second one, not all the mothers went to church, but the ones that run it tried to force me to do the Alpha course. Just be firm if you only want to go to the playgroup cos if not you won't be getting a lie in on a SUnday any time soon!

I think churches can really vary. Some are pretty chilled and some evangelical and judgey. I am gay and this definitely caused raised eyebrows at one church group, (and they preyed for me to 'overcome' it while another didn't bat an eyelid

Been to several church playgroups. Here they haven't been religious at all. I think one is run by the church and one is run by nct and just uses the church as a venue. I can't tell the difference.

Most aren't preachy but I did attend one once where the group was stopped in the middle to go through to the church and have a toddler friendly chat about Jesus, boys and girls (wide smile).
She passed around this manky, hideous cuddly octopus called FOG (Friend Of God) and encouraged the children to share their prayers with it. Then it was children's religious song time.
We were allowed back through to the church hall and the toys after about 20 minutes of whatever the hell it was.
I didn't go back.

I went to one, there was no hard sell. But there were weekly (short) bible stories and perhaps a bit of a child friendly church songs with actions (our god is a great nig god). There would also be a bit of touting messy Church / family events at church. Saying that- the ONLY parent and child group that provided hot drinks (around children, the children's centre did not allow such a "risk"), they also had biscuits for toddlers (imagine) as well as fruit. They were very welcoming and mainly just let the parent conversation flow, with a slightly structured singing/activity bit at the end. They also tend to be free / very cheap as they are funded by the church wanting to be involved in a community.
I would balance my guilt at all those free cups of coffee by volunteering to clean the toys (thry did a big clean and purge every 5 weeks). It was also where a good few of my daughters toys were donated.

*big god.

Most play groups we've tried have been in church halls. They are cheap, large and convenient. I've only ever seen a church rep (local Vicar) at one group, and she was encouraging us to go to a Messy Church session. Thanks but no thanks.

For all other groups it's a place to meet, rather than a reason to meet, if that makes sense.

They can try and indoctrinate me all they like, ain't gonna happen.

I'm both a Christian - clergy spouse - and an SAHP regular on the toddler group circuit and would say they vary hugely. In my experience Christian content is minimal or non-existent in the vast majority, and I've lived in three very different parts of the country before becoming a parent. If in doubt just ask, they should be / almost certainly will be completely straight with you. Also spare a thought for the volunteers who commit to running these groups week after week and commit to the wider work of keeping churches open for community groups & events. They require much more effort and expense than people realise. I think we'll lose a lot of church-based community stuff over the next ten to twenty years due to ageing, shrinking congregations who can't meet the cost of keeping churches open etc, which will mean lots of free / extremely cheap toddler groups will vanish off the map, just as children's centres and libraries are also struggling..which is fine if you can afford to pay for swimming / Gymboree / baby sensory whatever, not so good if you can't.

I love the church groups we went to when DS was little they were so inclusive, genuine and not preachy so much so that he now attends a Saturday morning church 'youth club'. They dont really do religion for anyone under 16 and base it on kids films with a good moral message - HOME, Minions, Big Hero 6. They learn about compassion, differences, perseverance. You never know it may become a friendship group, give it a try! and I say that at as a totally non religious person

Giraffes you may have a point there. Though one year I bought so many nets of mini egg thingies from Aldi I'm pretty sure we were still chucking some in a bowl on the counter come Christmas :o

I think another strength of church-run toddler groups is that the people running them generally don't give a stuff about whether or not you exclusively breastfeed or do BLW or still haven't managed to get your 3.5yo out of nappies - they're mostly run by older women who've seen it all themselves and there's no 'parenting philosophy' agenda.

I've been to two and both were fine, included a mix of religions actually.

They tend to be stocked with lovely old ladies who will play with the babies while you snore into your tea and biscuits.

There was the odd God song on sing along time but nothing too pushy and no pressure to treat them as anything other than another nursery rhyme.

DDs are mixed/no religion btw.

I run a church toddler group ( I'm not an old lady of the church though!!).
We don't try and pressure anyone. Our group aims to provide a safe friendly place for our toddlers to play and adults to chat over homemade cake and coffee!
I do talk about family friendly events our church runs but there's no pressure. It's just for info.
3 times a year( Christmas Easter Summer hols) I do a child friendly bible story usually involving puppets and it goes down well. Very simple lasts about 5 mins! I don't mind if anyone sits it out but no one seems to mind.

Hope you enjoy the group. I have a great group of toddlers and parents/carers at our group.

I'm lapsed Catholic and I used to take my DC to toddler group in an evangelical church. They used to get bibles for their birthdays and biblical Christmas stories. They also said a short prayer/grace before their snack.

I had no issue with this and the people who ran it were some of the loveliest and most helpful girls

I've attended church run playgroups at two different local churches, and both times there's been some mild evangelising to the toddlers. Bit bizarre really, considering they're so young and generally incapable of understanding the notion of death, Jesus and God.

I'm an atheist and wasn't exactly thrilled about it, but shrugged it off.

The one I went to was singing and rhyme based. It turned out that 50% were nursery rhymes, 50% were religious. I appreciate the time and effort put in by the organizers but found this very uncomfortable. I called it a day after 4 weeks when the leader said gleefully "let's sing a song about Jesus' resurrection and I thought "hell, let's not".

Just like Procrastinator I'm atheist and help run a baby and toddler group in one of the local churches, simply because they don't charge the earth for rent and storage. There is absolutely no religion of any sort in our meetings, just ordinary nursery rhymes, tea, cake, chat. We used to use the village hall, and it became too expensive, once we added on PLI etc. The church has been wonderfully welcoming and supportive, even tho the vicar knows I am atheist.
All I can advise is to go along and see what it's like.

Lots of church run groups specifically try to be inclusive of all faiths or none. Usually their only aim is to give people support and a pace to meet, not to preach to them.

Of course some of the other parents would be religious, but they will be talking about their children like everyone always does.

thanks for all the replies, haven't had time to read them all but it seems that my overall view was right - ie that they're generally alright but you get the odd crap one
thanks again for all the replies

I went to a toddler group at a church I attended regularly. I didn't recognise anyone there except the organiser, it was quite a dismal atmosphere and no-one seemed to want to chat! There was no religious content.

I find this all a bit odd really.

'they're generally alright but you get the odd crap one'
You mean there are the ones who focus on the bible and religion as their general theme? Nice judgement made there.

If you have no interest in religion I'm not sure why you'd choose to attend a church toddler group, and I certainly don't know why you'd think it was ok to pass judgement on what goes on there. Choosing the church toddler group because the time is convenient is a bit like going to church on a Sunday morning because there's nothing better to do and then complaining that it's all about God.

A lot of toddler groups have a dismal atmosphere etc, I don't think that has much to do with the church element of it. Most church toddler groups welcome people who aren't religious, all they ask is that you be respectful to their beliefs and they will be respectful of yours.

There are always exceptions to this which is why I think it's odd that although you seem to be dismissive of religion you are contemplating going.

Oh dear OP, if you do go make sure they know how tolerant you are of whatever religious content there may be.

We go to two church-run toddler groups. The one, at the church we attend, never mentions region. It is run by church members, but people of all faiths and no faith come along. In fact, we are the only people that attend the church who go.

The other group is equally welcoming to all. They do sing a couple of children's hymn-type songs during the sing-song, and they do announce any family-friendly events that the church has on, but there is never any pushing/ judgement etc.