AIBU to supersoak the magpies?

[User543212345]

There are some magpies who appear to have colonised a tree near our flat. They seem to come back every summer and now have designs on our balcony. Every morning from 4 fucking am they're out there cackling away, they peck at the windows, they leave dead smaller birds as gifts for us and generally make the balcony an unpleasant place to be. They also seem to be totally unafraid of us and when we try to scare them away from their murderous activities or mindless vandalism by banging windows or similar they just laugh at us.

So would I be unreasonable to buy a great big fuck off water pistol and squirt at them when they start their shenanigans? I'm not into hurting wildlife but I do want them to fuck off. If we are unreasonable then what else can we do?

[Chocolatefudgecake100]

I would

[powershowerforanhour]

Australian magpies are cooler than ours. OP probably wouldn't mind so much listening to them early in the morning.

[WhatALoadOfOldBollocks]

Oh yes, Australian Magpies (not related to the Euopean Magpie) are really entertaining. There are some great videos like this one on FB of them playing

[User543212345]

They look much more entertaining than the thuggish one who woke me up at 5:20am banging on the window and then looking at me like I was the unreasonable one for opening the curtains to see what was going on. He did fly away when I banged back on the window though.

It's like he's playing knock door run, except it's more knock window stare flap.

[trufflesnout]

Also for happy gun types - OP can't shoot them if she wanted, despite the legalities of killing wildbirds she also lives in central bloody London and - even if you have a licence - you aren't allowed to go round toting guns in built up areas.

[maartjebaabes]

Poppy

If you live in a designated rabbit clearance area, you have a duty to do this under the Pests Act.

Truffles - magpies are covered by the 2016 general licence so the legalities might not be a problem. Central London certainly is though, I agree!