AIBU to supersoak the magpies?

[User543212345]

There are some magpies who appear to have colonised a tree near our flat. They seem to come back every summer and now have designs on our balcony. Every morning from 4 fucking am they're out there cackling away, they peck at the windows, they leave dead smaller birds as gifts for us and generally make the balcony an unpleasant place to be. They also seem to be totally unafraid of us and when we try to scare them away from their murderous activities or mindless vandalism by banging windows or similar they just laugh at us.

So would I be unreasonable to buy a great big fuck off water pistol and squirt at them when they start their shenanigans? I'm not into hurting wildlife but I do want them to fuck off. If we are unreasonable then what else can we do?

Do people really shoot birds and animals with air guns? That's brutal! Maybe I'm too much of a hippie, but I am honestly aghast that anyone would consider taking another creature's life, "vermin" or no "vermin".

manina, they don't 'damage songbird populations' ffs they're natural predators. What damages songbird populations is habitat removal.

Please don't use a Larsen trap. While legal in the UK they are not humane and are a bit bloody cruel actually.

As for those suggesting air rifles? I've stood for near an hour tweezing out yellow, putrid tissue that had become infected beneath a pellet lodged in a bird's abdomen. The hole left behind was enormous for the poor wretch and had to be packed with filler. Even if you do hit the bird it's not guaranteed to kill them.

As PPs have said, distractors/reflective CDs or plastic bags etc usually do the job.

No ones asking you to like the buggers, just for a bit of respect for an animal that has no less of a right to life than you do.

nature finds a balance - its us that fucks it up

^

Just that really. Buy some ear plugs

I love birds and I think magpies are beautiful but nasty. There's a reason why other birds dislike them! We had pigeons nesting on our balcony recently (we had scaffolding up so I knew it was a one off as too exposed otherwise, so it didn't bother me) and they had 2 gorgeous fluffy chicks who squeaked all day.

Until the bastard magpies got them and spread their guts all over the balcony for us to find. I was 6 months pg and it did not help! I've also seen them harassing smaller birds to death one time too many to like them, much as I know it's the food chain etc.

Some people in our block have plastic owls. The pigeons and the magpies LURVE them, think they are best friends

Magpies "damage" song bird population - well no they are preditors. If they damage song bird population do lions damage zebra populations.

Yes there's a reason other birds don't like them, their preditors, again I shouldn't think zebra like lions very much!

People get preditory behaviour wrong, they label things like magpies and orcas as nasty or evil, damaging population of their prey. If there wasn't enough of a population of their prey the magpies wouldn't be there. As people have said nature finds its own balance, it always has. Zebras etc aren't endanged because lions hynenas etc have hunted them and done what they've done for years. Their endanged because HUMANS have hunted them for their pretty skins. Same as song birds their not endangered or rare because of magpies, crows, kites, etc their rare because HUMANS deforest woodland for homes, disturb nests because their disturbed by the birds noise, think it's done how hilarious to shoot them with Air guns.

I'm bird phobic, literally terrified of the things, but really shoring the things, because magpies are evil and nasty yet apparently it's not evil or nasty to shoot them! Any one see the problem with that sentence.

even if you can't get to the tree you can surely put reflective things on your balcony to keep them away from their. Other than that sorry just get used to it!

As for the songbird population - I thought that due to humans, the magpie population declined so they were really rare. After an effort to save them, the population is now enormous and therefore having a greater impact on songbirds than it should in the natural scheme of things.

Or in other words, nature would work if people could leave it the fuck alone!

I can't get at the tree and really don't want to interfere with them nesting I just want to stop finding dead birds on the balcony and be able to sit out there without being menaced by the buggers. So I'm being a NIMBY really.

I've read about the reflective things but thought that magpies liked shiny stuff? I also don't really want the balcony to have bits of tat hanging all over it.

DH wants to go down the air gun route - but I think that's both cruel and a way to get the police round sharpish (we're in central London). I thought a water pistol might be a reasonable compromise.

A few years ago my boy cat caught a Magpie (daft bugger).

The ensuing squawks for help caused a bloody magpie squad to turn up to get their mate back, it was like a scene from 'The Birds', I tell ya!

There was a thread on here ages ago about whether you salute magpies or not. I do and it's exhausting as because of that thread I now have to salute them and ask it, if it's on it's own, "good morning Mr Magpie, how's your wife?"

It's tiring living in the NE
Sorry, as you were..

lol Kitty.
Apart from the way magpies raid nests, I love them. Flipping intelligent birds who like to puzzle things out. Even when they were harassing my GPs I still liked them.

The best way to get rid of magpies is to try and befriend them. When they realise you are quite crazy they tend to keep away

All you gun happy types should learn to read more carefully.

"Magpies, like all other species, are protected under the Wildlife & Countryside Act 1981 and the Wildlife (Northern Ireland) Order 1985. This makes it illegal to intentionally or, in Scotland, recklessly take, injure or kill a magpie, or to take, damage or destroy an active nest or its contents. In Northern Ireland, it is illegal to disturb birds at an active nest."

From www.rspb.org.uk/discoverandenjoynature/discoverandlearn/birdguide/name/m/magpie/legal_status.aspx

I very much doubt any of the exceptions mentioned in my previous link apply here. And if the OP were an authorised person, then they wouldn't need to ask in the first place.

Super soak away.

Can you not get a net? I've seen loads of those on balconies in London.

What about putting up netting op? Then they can't get on your balcony or leave stuff there?
You could phone a pest control company who would be happy to advise xx

"You could phone a pest control company who would be happy to advise"

If they are legit then they should remind the OP of the illegality of disturbing any wild bird during Nesting Season i.e. now. They may give advice on how to keep them away from your property, though.

I'm not sure a net would work - it's a big space and they also climb through the drainage holes, the sneaky buggers.

liz I'm not authorised to kill/injure etc birds and I have no want to. I just want them to leave us alone and stop freaking me out, leaving me dead birds and waking me up. If they were happy to share the space and keep quiet during the early hours I'd be ok. Them having a massive shouty chat outside my bedroom window at 4 am, hopping at me when I dare sit out and read and leaving their kills for me to deal with - which they've just done to be thuggish bullies, I wish they'd eat what they kill - isn't really on.

That's what I meant liz
It still might be worth getting some advice though OP xx

Magpies are noisy buggers, yes, but my head is about to explode after reading that someone shoots the rabbits. just why?

I fecking hate magpies. They are the gangsters of the bird world. We have 2 lovely wood pigeons nesting in our conifer in our back garden and they are constantly getting harassed by the magpies that have a best over the road. A magpie will just sit on a TV Ariel and wait for its opportunity, for the nest to be unattended and in it flies. I have run out there so many times to try to shoo it off but it's brazen and isn't bothered.

They are even nasty to each other. The other week I heard a racket and a terrified bird calling and saw a load of them gang up on what I thought would be a crow or something. But eventually they backed off and it was one of their own, which wobbled around dazed and eventually flew off.

Nasty feckers. There are loads of them by us too. I worry for the local bird population.

Oh, I agree that they're avian louts. But nature ain't always cute and fluffy.

But nature ain't always cute and fluffy

I know, but I chose to live in the middle of London, so it's not like I'm complaining about sheep in the countryside

I'm fine with it normally, I even love our urban foxes in the grounds, but I want to use my balcony and I feel like the magpies are about to claim squatters' rights and I won't be able to go there again! Will try pest control and see what they recommend.

Rabbits are delicious Poppy.

And they breed like, err, rabbits.

Whilst we're on the subject can someone explain all this saluting business about magpies? I've only heard of it via MN and still don't know what it's all about.

I can't believe there's this whole thread about magpies being horrible and no one has mentioned what they do to cyclists in Australia

One for sorrow. So if you want to avoid the sorrow, you have to salute the magpie ( or spit or both) and say something like, "good morning mr magpie, how are you and your lady wife this fine morning?"

Unless the magpie looks you in the eye. In which case he respects you, so.

Doesn't count if you see more than one, eg two for joy.