AIBU to supersoak the magpies?

[User543212345]

There are some magpies who appear to have colonised a tree near our flat. They seem to come back every summer and now have designs on our balcony. Every morning from 4 fucking am they're out there cackling away, they peck at the windows, they leave dead smaller birds as gifts for us and generally make the balcony an unpleasant place to be. They also seem to be totally unafraid of us and when we try to scare them away from their murderous activities or mindless vandalism by banging windows or similar they just laugh at us.

So would I be unreasonable to buy a great big fuck off water pistol and squirt at them when they start their shenanigans? I'm not into hurting wildlife but I do want them to fuck off. If we are unreasonable then what else can we do?

[maartjebaabes]

Poppy

If you live in a designated rabbit clearance area, you have a duty to do this under the Pests Act.

Truffles - magpies are covered by the 2016 general licence so the legalities might not be a problem. Central London certainly is though, I agree!

[trufflesnout]

Also for happy gun types - OP can't shoot them if she wanted, despite the legalities of killing wildbirds she also lives in central bloody London and - even if you have a licence - you aren't allowed to go round toting guns in built up areas.

[User543212345]

They look much more entertaining than the thuggish one who woke me up at 5:20am banging on the window and then looking at me like I was the unreasonable one for opening the curtains to see what was going on. He did fly away when I banged back on the window though.

It's like he's playing knock door run, except it's more knock window stare flap.

[WhatALoadOfOldBollocks]

Oh yes, Australian Magpies (not related to the Euopean Magpie) are really entertaining. There are some great videos like this one on FB of them playing

[powershowerforanhour]

Australian magpies are cooler than ours. OP probably wouldn't mind so much listening to them early in the morning.

[Chocolatefudgecake100]

I would

[scarednoob]

One for sorrow. So if you want to avoid the sorrow, you have to salute the magpie ( or spit or both) and say something like, "good morning mr magpie, how are you and your lady wife this fine morning?"

Unless the magpie looks you in the eye. In which case he respects you, so.

Doesn't count if you see more than one, eg two for joy.

[singme]

I can't believe there's this whole thread about magpies being horrible and no one has mentioned what they do to cyclists in Australia

[AdrenalineFudge]

Whilst we're on the subject can someone explain all this saluting business about magpies? I've only heard of it via MN and still don't know what it's all about.

[LimpidPools]

Rabbits are delicious Poppy.

And they breed like, err, rabbits.

[User543212345]

But nature ain't always cute and fluffy

I know, but I chose to live in the middle of London, so it's not like I'm complaining about sheep in the countryside

I'm fine with it normally, I even love our urban foxes in the grounds, but I want to use my balcony and I feel like the magpies are about to claim squatters' rights and I won't be able to go there again! Will try pest control and see what they recommend.

[liz70]

Oh, I agree that they're avian louts. But nature ain't always cute and fluffy.

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

I fecking hate magpies. They are the gangsters of the bird world. We have 2 lovely wood pigeons nesting in our conifer in our back garden and they are constantly getting harassed by the magpies that have a best over the road. A magpie will just sit on a TV Ariel and wait for its opportunity, for the nest to be unattended and in it flies. I have run out there so many times to try to shoo it off but it's brazen and isn't bothered.

They are even nasty to each other. The other week I heard a racket and a terrified bird calling and saw a load of them gang up on what I thought would be a crow or something. But eventually they backed off and it was one of their own, which wobbled around dazed and eventually flew off.

Nasty feckers. There are loads of them by us too. I worry for the local bird population.

[poppym12]

Magpies are noisy buggers, yes, but my head is about to explode after reading that someone shoots the rabbits. just why?

[Mavisblewitt]

That's what I meant liz
It still might be worth getting some advice though OP xx

[User543212345]

I'm not sure a net would work - it's a big space and they also climb through the drainage holes, the sneaky buggers.

liz I'm not authorised to kill/injure etc birds and I have no want to. I just want them to leave us alone and stop freaking me out, leaving me dead birds and waking me up. If they were happy to share the space and keep quiet during the early hours I'd be ok. Them having a massive shouty chat outside my bedroom window at 4 am, hopping at me when I dare sit out and read and leaving their kills for me to deal with - which they've just done to be thuggish bullies, I wish they'd eat what they kill - isn't really on.

[liz70]

"You could phone a pest control company who would be happy to advise"

If they are legit then they should remind the OP of the illegality of disturbing any wild bird during Nesting Season i.e. now. They may give advice on how to keep them away from your property, though.

[Mavisblewitt]

What about putting up netting op? Then they can't get on your balcony or leave stuff there?
You could phone a pest control company who would be happy to advise xx

[porridge90]

Can you not get a net? I've seen loads of those on balconies in London.

[dowhatnow]

Super soak away.

[liz70]

All you gun happy types should learn to read more carefully.

"Magpies, like all other species, are protected under the Wildlife & Countryside Act 1981 and the Wildlife (Northern Ireland) Order 1985. This makes it illegal to intentionally or, in Scotland, recklessly take, injure or kill a magpie, or to take, damage or destroy an active nest or its contents. In Northern Ireland, it is illegal to disturb birds at an active nest."

From www.rspb.org.uk/discoverandenjoynature/discoverandlearn/birdguide/name/m/magpie/legal_status.aspx

I very much doubt any of the exceptions mentioned in my previous link apply here. And if the OP were an authorised person, then they wouldn't need to ask in the first place.

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

lol Kitty.
Apart from the way magpies raid nests, I love them. Flipping intelligent birds who like to puzzle things out. Even when they were harassing my GPs I still liked them.

The best way to get rid of magpies is to try and befriend them. When they realise you are quite crazy they tend to keep away

[KittyKrap]

There was a thread on here ages ago about whether you salute magpies or not. I do and it's exhausting as because of that thread I now have to salute them and ask it, if it's on it's own, "good morning Mr Magpie, how's your wife?"

It's tiring living in the NE
Sorry, as you were..

[StillStayingClassySanDiego]

A few years ago my boy cat caught a Magpie (daft bugger).

The ensuing squawks for help caused a bloody magpie squad to turn up to get their mate back, it was like a scene from 'The Birds', I tell ya!

[User543212345]

I can't get at the tree and really don't want to interfere with them nesting I just want to stop finding dead birds on the balcony and be able to sit out there without being menaced by the buggers. So I'm being a NIMBY really.

I've read about the reflective things but thought that magpies liked shiny stuff? I also don't really want the balcony to have bits of tat hanging all over it.

DH wants to go down the air gun route - but I think that's both cruel and a way to get the police round sharpish (we're in central London). I thought a water pistol might be a reasonable compromise.