Going away Aibu?

[Unicornsandfairies44]

So I am meant to be going away for a few days to a spa resort with some girlfriends, but that means leaving my 4 kids with my DH, I trust him to look after them, but he works. So my eldest DD said she could look after the younger ones, but she is revising for her GCSEs. Aibu for leaving her to look after them, because I feel so guilty about it.

Plenty of people have asked if your DH can help?! Is this possible?

I don't get why you're asking what we think is acceptable and almost asking for our approval?!

I think you should have checked before booking it whether it clashed with her exams. However much she says she can manage etc, you should be doing everything you can to help her through this stage in her life and make it as stress-free as possible.

Not trying to make you feel guilty, but there should have been a lot more thought given to this!

YABU

FGS, the DD has one exam left. The younger DC are in school all day, therefore the DD has all day to study and then more after her father gets in from work.

I don't think this is the big deal most of you are making it out to be. She will probably be glad of the distraction of a few hours, then be refreshed to hit the books again. Or should she study for 12hrs a day until her exam?

I honestly never thought this was such a problem, I knew that DD would be revising for her last exam. I would never gone if she had 1 while I was away. I just thought that DD would appreciate a quiet house for most of the day. DH has called work and can get a half day on Thursday to drop DC off in the morning and I can do the school run on Tuesday morning. Do you guys think that this will still affect her?

You need to ask her not us.

For the record DD had her last exam today and while she did spend most of yesterday revising, she did even more in the evening.

OK, I just had one younger sister but had to keep an eye on her everyday after school until my mum got home from work for a couple of hours. My mum went back to work when I was 13 or 14 so my sister would have been about 10. I studied fine, so in that aspect of it seems fine.

The bigger question for me is if she really is OK with you being away for so long or is she trying to appear more grown up than maybe she is.

Do you think if you keep asking the same people are suddenly going to change their minds?

Your priorities are clearly different to mine.

No I haven't got a child doing gcse's however I had a child while doing gcse's

Ok, I'll bite. Why on earth was your childcare not sorted out till the last minute? You're away for five days, who were you expecting to look after the children?

never seen a duplicate post removed before!

I didn't realise how much dd would need company - cups of tea, encouraging noises etc until she entered GCSEs. At this point most of them are stressed, exhausted and need an extra dose of parenting themselves, not to have to take on a parenting role.

Exactly OYBK.

Any parent who doesn't "get" the GCSE stress should read the year 11 thread.

Your DH should sort this surely? I can't believe we hit four pages before you even mentioned that.

I still don't understand why the DH can't actually parent his own children?

You said that DH got a half day. cant he get anymore time out of work? i think you should talk to your DD and make sure she is 100% ok to do it. if you do go away she can always call DH if she cant manage.

I am sure your dd will be fine. I was looking after friends kids for 8 hours a day in the midst of my GCSEs and did fine.

Try the after school club and get you DH to finish early and make sure dd does need to look after them on the weekend and it will be fine

I do think you need to be there for your DD. Exam period is tough.

However I think a lot of PPs are going way overboard insinuating all kinds of rubbish and questioning the number of days etc.

I think you need to have a chat with DD allowing her space to say honestly what she thinks. It does depend on her, how she deals with stress etc, so none of us can really say.