he's done it again!

[cushion53]

Had more stuff done to his face!! Today. Without telling me beforehand, because he knows how much I hate it. Then gets all offended when I won't go out with him to watch the footie because I'm scared we'll meet somebody we know and he looks like a laughing stock.

I'm happy, gives me a good excuse not to engage with the idiot.

[PacificDogwod]

should I or should I not change my reaction to his behaviour?

Well, it is your life, your only life.
Your decision to make, not ours.

[cushion53]

thanks PDW

[bialystockandbloom]

I find excessive vanity really off putting too OP, in anyone but particularly if it was my dp, I'd find it a bit creepy actually, so I get where you're coming from. But it sounds like that amount of cosmetic surgery is beyond normal vanity with him tbh. I kind of see how women could get sucked in a bit to the whole thing as there's so much more pressure on women to look young and not age, but men don't get that same pressure. Do you ask him why he feels he needs to do it?

[WeekendAway]

I think they are lacking in some aspect of their lives. I think its a sign of mental deficiency. There you go...anyone who indulges in cosmetic surgery is on a lower plane than I am. so there.

You sound horribly superior and very judgemental. I imagine your husband is every bit as miserable with you as you are with him. Why don't you just call it a day?

[cushion53]

I think I'm living with a weirdo but it's been going on so long now I don't know any more what's normal.

[cushion53]

weekendaway, thank you. I am superior and judgemental. I take that as a compliment actually.

[WeekendAway]

Wow. I'd love to see this thread written with the genders reversed and see what sort of responses you got, especially to that last comment.

I think if you've stayed for many years with a man you have nothing but loathing and contempt for and feel superior to, then you are every bit the sad fool that you think he is.

[cushion53]

bialystock... I do ask him why he does it. He says it's because it's free.

[cushion53]

WeekendAway, exactly. You've hit the nail on the head.

[roarfeckingroar]

My partner uses hairspray daily. Really not that unusual.

[BeYourselfUnlessUCanBeAUnicorn]

How many and what procedures has he had done? Is he looking different? I find people who have facial work always end up looking 'funny'.

Is this him?

[LauderSyme]

You can't stay married to him! Surely?
You are writing as if you despise him.
You may have good reason; the man you describe sounds awful and neither of you is behaving like a life partner to the other.
You need to split up and I think you know that.
Change your reaction to his behaviour by walking away.

[WeekendAway]

Be I think people who have poorly executed, unsubtle facial work, or just too much of it end up looking 'funny.'

I think lots of people have excellent subtle facial work look way better than the rest of us and we ask ourselves why they got lucky and we didn't, instead of just going 'look at that face full of filler.'

That's the difference.

[Pinkheart5915]

Why are you so hung up on a man being rugged, good at diy, sport? and your comment about "what man uses hair spray" we have threads on mumsnet all the time about how we shouldn't say certain things are for men/boys or women/girls. Nothing wrong with a bit of hair spray and baby lotion, male grooming is fine.

If I wanted something done and my DH behaved by referring to me as an idiot and kept informing me how much he dis agreed I wouldn't be happy and it would cause trouble in my marriage because it is my body and I'll do whatever I want to it.
If my DH came home and he had something cosmetic done i honestly wouldn't mind, he's come home once or twice with a new tattoo and I don't particularly like tattoos but they are nicely done and it's his body as a grown man he decides.

[RestlessTraveller]

Look, you hate him, he doesn't fit your frankly ridiculous and sexist view of how a man should be. Just leave him. You would both be a lot happier.

Also I really hope your son turns out to be the man you want him to be because I really fear your relationship if he doesn't.

[chewingawasp]

Is he starting to look like Jocelyn Wildenstein yet? If so LTB.

[Chocoholicmonster]

Its his body. His choice. Personally, I don't think I'd put up with my DP if he was obsessed with cosmetic surgery but I'd grow a pair & leave him instead of writing numerous MN threads about someone.

[Morsecode]

What is this thing about "accepting" husbands using hairspray OP? Would you need him to "accept" you using makeup?? I wonder what age you live in.

I chuck some of my mistake beauty buys - hot cloth cleanser, moisturiser, eye gel - at my husband and he uses them; he wouldn't think of buying any for himself though. Hasn't made him any less manly

[beetroot2]

Blimey worry who pissed in your bucket tonight

[BoatyMcBoat]

My dh uses a roller thing on his eye bags. It's actually mine but I don't bother with it. My dh is often a twat though

[ScarletForYa]

I've said it before, there's a reason his 'friend' is giving him all this 'free' surgery.

They're friends, like Kanye and Ricardo.

[LordoftheTits]

I'm so happy to hear that other men use hairspray and you accept that.

I can't tell if you're joking or bonkers. Why on earth would I not accept my husband taking pride in his appearance?? He's not vain, he just doesn't want to walk around looking unkempt. Should my husband not 'accept' the fact that I lift weights, do all of the DIY in the house and drive him everywhere because he never learned how? Will it make his penis fall off?