To talk on the train?

[lalafala]

So I'm on a very busy commuter train at the moment. I had a call I wanted to make, so being mindful of the quiet zone, I walked straight past it into a normal carriage. The lady sat next to me was busy tapping away at her laptop.

I made my call and about half way through she interrupts me to ask if I can't have those conversations this evening as I'm disturbing her. I pointed out that there was a quiet zone for people who wanted quiet but she replied that it's not about the quiet zone, it's about self awareness and me not having any!

So genuinely, I need to know, am I really BU?

"commuter train" isn't that the same as any other train i.e available for use by anyone who has paid for a ticket to get to wherever they want to go for any reason whatsoever

i HATE this idea that because you use a train regularly at a particular time there are rules one must abide by

bollocks

Is it just me that thinks it's hilarious that the op made another call to her dad and then whispered that she wasn't aloud to talk?
It's the kind of thing I'd love to do but wouldn't have the nerve. Instead I'd probably just sit seething at the other woman.

Some people just don't seem to give a shit about impacting other people's peace and quiet. The thick fucks.

I think it's about balance, the OP says she doesn't make a habit of making unnecessary phone calls so was probably not nattering away aimlessly. Similarly the lady should not expect everyone to pander to her because she chooses to work on a busy train. I acknowledge this is sometimes unavoidable but as pp have said, it's a train not an office!

Actually scrap my first part , must have imagined that... I'm tired lol

The noise of someone talking (on the phone or in person), or tapping keys on their laptop, or rustling newspapers, or munching crisps is all part and parcel of the normal background noise you should expect on a train. It might be annoying or distracting, but that's what happens when you travel in a metal box filled with lots of other people

I once shared a journey with an old woman who spent the first 45 minutes of her journey ringing everyone in her contacts to say "I'm on a train but I've been booked in the quiet coach so don't call me for next 2 hours"

It genuinely wouldn't bother me at all. I used to commute 5 days a week on the train, 2 hours each way, and to be honest the only thing that ever annoyed me was when there was standing room only and people would barge into me and not move for when I needed to get off at my stop .

Phonecalls, no problem. Its not as though you are a noisy lout singing dirty rugby songs - or are you?

Phone calls on trains are bloody annoying. As is chatting. And eating.

I would welcome a genuinely silent carriage where no one eats or breathes loudly and is leg-spreading, arm wrest wrangling and coat draping is forbidden. Don't make a noise, don't touch me.

Commuters are an utterly miserable bunch usually. I love listening to people's conversations whether on the phone or not. Anything to pass the time is good. But tbh some train peeps hate it if you sit next to them, have a child with you, drink from a flask... I say life is too short to care about such petty shit.

I thought what you said to your dad was very funny and I have made out loud comments when people have tutted or become upset at really silly things - like my spanish friends coming into London with me and, horror of horrors, speaking spanish next to a grumpy commuter. Or the person who said loudly "I don't know WHY people insist on bringing their children onto a commuter train" when my children were on a course in London with a 0900 start time. They're 11 and 13, quite capable of sitting and reading quietly.

Now, blow jobs on a packed train... that really IS rude. Don't be sitting across from me and giving your man a blow job (this actually happened...)

This has been enlightening. I don't find phone calls on trains rude, and in fact I often use them as a chance to catch up with people on the train. Now that I've seen just how much they annoy people, I'll try and do it less. Nonetheless the other woman was being unreasonable. If she didn't book a seat on the quiet coach, and there were no seats available, then she has to just suck it up and deal with her. Like pp have said, it's unreasonable to expect the rest of the world to pander to her requirements

People on the phone always talk so LOUDLY. People chatting usually talk in a normal voice.

op you were not being unreasonable. She paid for a seat on a train not a private compartment, she chose not to sit in the quiet carriage. You have every right to make a call on a train. Lots of things annoy me, judgy mumsnetters thats life I deal with it so should she. If she wanted to travel in silence she should have booked a seat in the quiet carriage. or travelled alone where she wouldn't have to judge anyone else

Commuted for years and wouldn't have given a hoot if you sat next to me and made a call. It's a public space and the public are irritating, such is life. As for working, work if you must but the train isn't your office and you can't expect to treat it as such. Same goes for Costa etc. Sure, set up your laptop and buy a coffee but don't expect the world to tiptoe round you.

If only headphones had been invented then she could have got on with her very important work undisturbed eh?

She was being unreasonable not to follow the commuters code and respond to your call by inwardly seething the entire journey. Commuting on the tube I have perfected the perfect incredulous stare for tourists who stand on the left. Shame only the backs of their heads ever get to witness it.

I did once nearly say something to a man who sat next to me on a basically empty train instead of taking one of about 50 other seats with no one next to him but thought better of it as he was obviously a sociopath.

Don't forget the passive aggressive loud "you're welcome" to anyone who doesn't thank you profusely for a kind act!

It would have annoyed me that you sat down and then made a call for some reason. If I needed to get up anyway I'd just stand until I'd finished. How long was this call?!

As to the second call to your dad - I think you acted like a bit of an idiot there.

It amazes me how quickly some people move to telling people to fuck off. No wonder the world feels so aggressive sometimes.

Don't forget the passive aggressive loud "you're welcome" to anyone who doesn't thank you profusely for a kind act! If people weren't so rude this wouldn't be necessary.

Loads of things people do on public transport annoy me. Doesn't mean I should feel entitled to ask them to stop, if it's something they are permitted to do. It's called coexisting with other human beings.

I haven't told anyone to fuck off. I don't think I'm remotely aggressive and certainly not contributing to making the world a more aggressive place! If a stranger on a train personally insults me I'm going to stand up for myself, as I think anyone should!

fanjo is it too much to ask for people to have consideration for those around them? I would be mortified if I thought someone else could hear the music from my headphones, let alone, not give two shits about playing music/tv without them.

We aren't talking about headphones here, but speaking.

Talk as much as you like, but I should not be able to hear you from the seat behind.

I was actually referring to another two posters who said that they would have told the other women to fuck off in your shoes.

I think by making the stupid call to your dad you were certainly stoking a potential dispute. That wasn't standing up for yourself.

Why couldn't you just stand for the call?