AIBU to have walked out of the doctors crying today

[alittlebitofwhatyoufancy]

My doctor appointment was because I had a sore eye so I wasn't really going in upset or anything!

My gp asks about what support I have every time I go there this time he just wouldn't leave it alone. Giving a speech about how "for thousands of years women have raised children with the help of the community". It is bad timing for this as my dh left on the weekend and I have no one else.

I think I just took it the wrong way but when he said "let us help you be a good mother" I pretty much just lost my ability to cope.

I held it together to get to the door of the surgery but spent most of the walk home crying.

Was I being unreasonable to be so upset I feel like the speech etc was a little uncalled for as realistically unless he is offering to be my best friend or come and clean my house for me (both seem unlikely ) what the hell good is it for him to tell me to magic up some support!

Sorry the husband leaving thing didn't come up seems stupid now but I was just too upset to say anything I think I may have said something like "he's not atop

Oh well that will be it (but that would bug me too if I just wanted my eye checked);

'Fluoxetine' comes up on his screen, so he's in 'continuing care' mode and he decides to do the 'supportive GP' bit. He doesn't sound brilliant at it

He's not around much I don't think I said- he left and is sleeping at his office which is actually the case.

Oh well! If you're still on medication for PND (I don't know how old your child is?) he's only doing his job enquiringly how you're coping, and letting you know you can access help if necessary.
That's a it of a drip feed which puts things in a slightly different light, isn't it??

Well that explains it.

Women with PND can often put a brave face on things (I did) and it sounds like he was just reiterating that there is support should you need it.

The good mum comment was unnecessary but perhaps it was just him being clumsy.

When I had a social worker years ago their main concern was how isolated they thought I was. I wasn't, but because they never asked I never told them about where I went or who I saw.

So he's basically continuing care which most GP's would do. He just sounds a bit crap at it

"Let us help you be a good mother" I agree- he's probably trying to be caring, but worded it so so badly.

I remember when my Mum went to see the Dr for a UTI once- she'd been diagnosed with cancer the week before but the visit had nothing to do with that. The GP said "so, I see you've been diagnosed with cancer, how do you feel about that?" He was obviously trying to get her to open up/ assess her mood but the way he want about it was so, so wrong.

Yes Liz he kept saying isolated.

Apart from the GP experience today which sounds a bit odd, especially given it's Monday morning (busiest day of the week) and any GP will have around 40-50 consultations a day! But do you have support after H leaving - whatever happened, you must be in a bad state. Do you have family/friends who will help you get through this awful time, or even MN!!

I get the same question all the time too so it's not just you. It has struck a nerve with you as it does with me. I know there is very little support for our situation and no respite. It would be nice if the doctors provided home visits and disabled parking for the cognitively impaired if they really wanted to help. :/ So yes it often seems like a rhetorical question ,.if that's the right word for it. So sorry to hear about your situation and hope that you and your family are able to work through this.

It's Tuesday but my gp sn't busy it's off its like its separated from all of the overcrowding you hear about! You can get an appointment normally within an hour or two .

I don't have support I did post a thread in relationships shortly after this one. So maybe that will help.

If I'm feeling very low and on the edge it only takes someone on say are you ok or how are you and I'm in tears.

Goingtobe sorry you feel like that i HATE being upset in front of people. When I went for the pnd o think I just said a couple of prepare sentences got the tablets and left! So I was pretty pleased to have been OK until I left. Although i must have looked a state walking Throuh town crying with one eye dripping blood

"I think I just took it the wrong way "

no love, he put it the wrong way. Someone needs to tell him to yabber less and listen more. And enough with the thousands of years stuff.....

the awful thing is, when you have depression and you say "that's patronising", they ascribe your reaction to the depression, not to being right. So they don't learn.

My gp asks about what support I have every time I go there

How often do you go to see your GP? Could the frequency of your visits also be a flag for him?

Booklooker I have been quite a lot the last few months after the pneumonia and then when I started taking the antidepressants he wouldn't give me anymore than a couple of weeks at a time so I kept having to go back for that.

Mrsdevere- I do actually really like him ! But I am just not the worlds best "talker" I think I come across as rude when I don't mean to be!

I think there has been a big drive for health care professionals to look out for PND and try and help. For example, they've brought in shorter waiting times for talking therapies if you are pregnant. Maybe he's received training on offering help that he has misinterpreted. YANBU to be upset though - he could work on his bedside manner! Do you think some kind of therapy in addition to medication would be helpful?

Did he think you might have a relapse due to not feeling well with your eye? As you said your PND was triggered by being ill in the first place.
On the other hand, I would've loved if my GP had actually offered me anything other than tablets for my PND.

I really think it sounds like he's trying his best to do a good job but hasn't worded himself very well. I think it can be quite hard for gps sometimes as they are not counsellors but sometimes probably feel the need to be if they're worried about a patient. I'm sorry he made you feel bad I'm sure that wasn't his intention and he sounds a lot better than a lot of gps.

A very good friend of mine wasn't coping well and was really not herself. I'm not a doctor but suspected she had PND.

I called her gp surgery and spoke to the receptionist about my concern. The next time she went in the gp asked how she was and was she coping well and she broke down. It enables her to get the right support.

Op could of someone in RL done that.

This would wind me up massively - I get why it upset you. When you go to your GP with a particular medical problem and they start taking apart your whole life, it's only likely to lead you to avoid going to the GP. Hugely intrusive and annoying

I'm a GP. If I followed your rules, I would have missed dozens of patients with mental illness, PND, domestic violence (including the man who had bought bondage kit for his 12 yo DD) and many serious physical illnesses. Patients very often ask the GP about a relatively trivial problem to test the water. A good GP needs to pick up on underlying issues.

i second MrsDeVere....i think its one of those comments that made out of the goodness of his heart / and being a GP.

sometimes we need to look at the essence of his message...which i think was there is help out there / i can help if you let me in or ask.

something to think about, maybe after all the initial distress of the weekend has died down a bit.

i wish you all the best.