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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to let DD stay at home

18 replies

NotSoYumMum01 · 14/06/2016 13:41

I am in the process of finding DD a new school.
Her current school is 27 miles there and 27miles back and yesterday it took her 5hours to get home because of train delays and cancellationsAngry. DD had huge bags under her eyes but still did her paper round this morning (was a struggle to get her up) . broke down in tears when she came back saying she's fed up of travelling so far and that she can't do it anymore.

A parent from the school who's DD only has a 5min walk to school was shocked that I let DD stay at home for today because she was tired.
I called the school and explained why she would not be coming into school and they said they hope to see her in tomorrow. Her attendence is 98.6% so didn't think one day would be a huge problem.

AIBU? WWYD?

OP posts:
mygorgeousmilo · 14/06/2016 13:50

You are not being unreasonable to let your child have a day off, but why on earth does she have to travel so far?

Pinkheart5915 · 14/06/2016 13:57

I'm guessing she isn't in an important year for exams or anything. So based on that I don't think it's completely unreasonable but I do wonder why you send your DD to school so far away? Have you just moved?

liz70 · 14/06/2016 13:57

Either move her to a closer school, or if that school is so amazing, move house to be nearer to it. Travelling 27 miles to and from a school five days a week is ludicrous.

TheHobbitMum · 14/06/2016 14:03

That's totally ridiculous to commute so far for a kid, is there nowhere closer?

RebeccaWithTheGoodHair · 14/06/2016 14:03

The OP says she is trying to find a new (presumably closer) school.

It doesn't seem unreasonable to me to keep her home under the circs - in fact I'd be inclined not to send her back there. That is way too much travelling.

Original poster
NotSoYumMum01 · 14/06/2016 14:06

DD lived away from home for a year and things didn't workout so she came back to me. We are hoping to have her in a new school by September because I don't want her travelling so far for year 10. DD doesn't even want to go back to her school anymore but I've told her she can't just move schools overnight. She loves her school and her friends but she's been there for just over a year now and it's all too much.

OP posts:
liz70 · 14/06/2016 14:12

Can she ditch the paper round for a start? Surely that must be too much, on top of all the travelling to school?

shiveringhiccup · 14/06/2016 14:15

YADNBU. Sounds exhausting bless her.

Can you speed up the school search? Home ed in the interim? Why can't things change overnight if that's what she's asking?

Original poster
NotSoYumMum01 · 14/06/2016 14:18

The paper round is on her way to the station,she is still waking up the same time she did before she done the round. When she is too tired,her twin brother does it.

Would love things to happen overnight but we are on waiting lists for over 10 schools. Most schools are saying she will have to wait until September.

OP posts:
Original poster
NotSoYumMum01 · 14/06/2016 15:53

Bump

OP posts:
RB68 · 14/06/2016 15:58

I would ignore Mrs Primpants with the 5 min walk, what does she know. Not unreasonable at all despite paper round. Personally I would ditch everything you can that is none essential from her routine and see if lifts or driving can be sorted short term - its not long till the end of term

araiba · 14/06/2016 16:07

so if you move house midterm, you have to keep going to your old school until a place is found near your new house? really?

what if she had moved from leeds to london? kings x every day?

Floralnomad · 14/06/2016 16:14

I can't see how the schools are more likely to have a space in Sept than they are now - ditch the paper round and can you drive her and pick her up to make the travelling easier ?

Original poster
NotSoYumMum01 · 14/06/2016 16:17

We've decided the paper round can go to her twin as he really wants it and is only 10mins away from his school. DD has already cut down the amount of hours she dances a week and doesn't go to the yard or horse ride every day anymore.

We were told by the LA she still has to be in education until a new school is found even when we explained that it was decided during a school lunch break that she would come and live with me again. School even tried telling us that home education for secondary school is illegal which I know is not true.

OP posts:
Original poster
NotSoYumMum01 · 14/06/2016 16:21

I can't drive her or pick her up with my work hours. I can arrange for a taxi to take her and pick her up but she is not comfortable about this (she doesn't trust people very easily and has anxiety) .

OP posts:
Nataleejah · 14/06/2016 16:24

Home ed illegal? Bullshit Grin

fieldfare · 14/06/2016 16:25

If she's not missing anything vital in this last half term can you not declare to the LEA that she's being educated at home for these last 6 weeks. Then she can begin at the local school, when she has a place available, in September.

Must add that I don't know how easy/hard it is to register as home ed though.

Original poster
NotSoYumMum01 · 14/06/2016 16:34

Thank you. Just looked in the LA website and it says I have to write to the school to say my daughter is being educated outside of school and to have her name removed off the register . It also states that the school should not persuade us to change our minds.
I'll speak to DD when I'm home. I can't see her going back there .

OP posts:
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