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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Wrongfully accused of shoplifting!

266 replies

user1465893706 · 14/06/2016 11:10

Thursday I visited a well known supermarket that I frequently visit. Did my shopping fine (without the aid of kids....lovely) went to leave the shop and the alarm barriers went off, backed up my trolley (thought it may have been the gentleman walking beside me who had triggered the alarm) and tried again, same thing happened. I got the attention of the lady working on the self service checkouts and showed her my receipt. I told her the probable cause of the alarm was the razor blades I had purchased. She checked my receipt and couldn't find razor blades on it. I had to dig through my bags to finally find the razor blades in the middle of one of my bags. Was a little annoyed at this point as the checkout girl had obviously not scanned correctly (to busy moaning to me about supermarket and how she has got a new job lined up). I was then taken to customer services and I paid for the razor blades after pointing out that maybe they should have words with the checkout girl to make sure she scans products correctly. I then left the shop. Got to my car, had to repack most of my shopping as most of it had been taken out of the bags in search of the razor blades, loaded my bags into the boot, put the trolley in the bay, got into my car and went to put my key into the ignition (all this had taken a fair amount of time). Just as I was about to start the car I had a tap on my window. I opened my car door to a woman dressed in black who then asked to see my receipt?!? I explained to her that all this was sorted out in the shop and I had paid for the razor blades. She then continued to tell me that was not the issue and it was the fact I had a lot of products in my shopping trolley not bagged up??? At this point I was getting very frustrated. I emptied the contents of my handbag only to find receipts not their then realised they must be in my shopping bags in the boot. I had to get the woman to move out of my way (she had came round the side of my car door as if to block me in) to exit the car. When I got to the boot of my car I was astonished to see the manager behind my car and 4 other employees a little further up blocking the car park??? 6 people in total!!!! I'm a 5ft woman in her 20's!!!! At this point I was absolutely furious, shaking and on the verge of tears. I managed to find the receipts and got the woman to look in my car although after all that she wasn't bothered in checking all my bags and just simply said "I can see its all there" (how when its all packed I do not know) I then asked the woman and the manager for an apology. She begrudgingly apologised but the manager point blank refused saying " I don't have to apologise if I suspect a thieve" they then left me. Luckily there was someone who witnessed all this that knows me from sight from my daughters pre school so she calmed me down enough so I could drive home (although I do not remember actually driving home). Luckily my husband was at home that day and as soon as I got home I had a full blown panic attack. My husband calmed me down, got a friend to sit with me, and took all my shopping back and demanded a refund, he eventually got it. He asked to speak to the manager 3 times and each time he refused to come speak to my husband. On the 4th attempt he got the employee to relay on the phone that he was not willing to come and apologise as in his eyes I was still a thief? I have written a letter of complaint and am still awaiting I response.

OP posts:
DoloresVanCartier · 14/06/2016 15:19

PHeadPH. You are quite right that sometimes hearing differing opinions can help minimise a situation or help it be thought through, but, saying things like "having a breakdown is OTT" really aren't helpful comments, it's like telling someone with depression to pull themselves together, really unhelpful and actually has the opposite effect.

I'm not saying don't post for fear of upsetting an OP, I'm merely saying that it is quite obvious that the OP has anxiety issues if she suffers from panic attacks and perhaps it would be much more helpful to say things like, "OK, let's put it into perspective, it's a shitty thing to happen to anyone and its knocked you for six, but, your DH has really backed you up here and you should be writing a letter to head office. In the meantime, deep breaths, relax and get a cup of tea, no one was injured (except your pride) and as the days go on your anxiety regarding this will lessen"

Do you see what I mean? I'm not being goady or inflammatory, I'm just asking that we don't call people with anxiety issues certain names that minimise their panic, it's huge to them. I'm just asking us to be kind to each other (although aibu isn't always the place for kindness Wink)
Smile

Buckinbronco · 14/06/2016 15:21

No honestly Delores, it's not like telling a person with depression to pull themselves together. If you don't have depression you can pull yourself together can't you?

SilverBirchWithout · 14/06/2016 15:21

Its all very odd indeed.

HeffalumpHistory · 14/06/2016 15:22

does anyone else avoid self-checkouts partly for this reason? If you make a mistake (as is easy to do in a stressful environment especially if you have kids distracting you) you're never going to be able to prove it wasn't deliberate.

This! I've seen people steal using them & I've seen people questioned who I believe were genuine, honest people just in a muddle. I hate those bloody self check outs & our local supermarket try & make you use them.

SpaceUnicorn · 14/06/2016 15:22

Anyway what's all this from HQ about PBP?

There's an epidemic at the minute - these numerical usernames don't help

bolognaadvice · 14/06/2016 15:25

What was the supermarket?

Google the CEO's name and write to them directly at the head office. Include a copy of your receipt and the date and time you shopped.
Be clear about what you want them to do about it.

Big orgs have a team of PR people around to deal with this sort of stuff.

DoloresVanCartier · 14/06/2016 15:25

Buckinbronco im not sure what you mean, I likened the fact that OP clearly suffers from anxiety (panic attacks) and unhelpful comments being made like "having a breakdown is OTT" to saying pull yourself together to someone with depression .... Almost guaranteed to have the opposite effect. I didn't say the OP has depression. I hope the tone of your post is as light as I have taken it as I'm only trying to be nice. Smile

BoffinMum · 14/06/2016 15:26

I got a version of this in Waitrose when my ability to use the self-service checkout device was blocked on the grounds that 'you haven't paid for your shopping on four occasions' followed by a sneery supercilious look by a condescending young woman. Dead embarrassing.

What had actually happened was in the early days of the devices, a few years previously, they had been quite unreliable, so many times I had needed to go to the service desk and ask to pay manually, and on each of the occasions the purchase had not been cancelled properly on my account via the computer on the till by inattentive staff, although I had paid. So it looked like I had just walked out with the shopping IYSWIM. Then it happened again because there was a problem with my card but the thing just spat out a receipt that looked as though I had paid, even though it didn't go through, and I hadn't realised. This meant the system blocked me. When I realised the payment had not gone through, I went back in immediately to pay of my own volition, but they refused to unblock me.

I had to contact JL HQ and make a big fuss about this and eventually someone fairly senior explained what would have happened and kind of said sorry but not really enough, I think, given how I had been treated in the shop. A factor in them sorting it was working I had paid for all the shopping on my Partnership Card and being a huge family I had spent a blimmin fortune over the years. But I lost faith and now I mainly shop with Tesco/Ocado. It was the sneery look on that woman's face that put me right off them, tbh.

araiba · 14/06/2016 15:27

Include a copy of your receipt

that doesnt include the razor blades ffs

why is everyone ignoring the fact that she was caught with unpaid for items?

BoffinMum · 14/06/2016 15:28

I think if you have been publicly accused of being a thief and there is no evidence (i.e. they didn't see you slip it into a bag with the clear intention to deprive them of payment, rather than a mistake by the checkout person etc) then writing formally to the CEO is perfectly reasonable.

mysteryfairy · 14/06/2016 15:28

OP what a horrible experience. I hope that as a few days pass the unpleasantness of this will feel less acute and immediate.

I'm sorry you've been subject to further suspicion and examination on here. It's a shame you posted to work this out of your system as I imagine this thread has just prolonged the upset.

BoffinMum · 14/06/2016 15:29

araiba, because there is a big difference between sneaking stuff out and checkout operators cocking up and the customer not realising

wowfudge · 14/06/2016 15:33

When someone has accused of being a thief you to your face they should have the humility to apologise when proved wrong. The manager's attitude stinks.

araiba · 14/06/2016 15:35

i get that, but we dont know either way

i just feel that they are justified in checking op out. it never seems to be a packet of polos that dont get scanned, always the expensive thing and i bet they have heard the same story thousands of times before

mistakes were made, move on

BoffinMum · 14/06/2016 15:38

Araiba, it often is something small, and people are innocent until proven guilty, which the shop seemed to forget. I am afraid as this involved a checkout operator they are on thin ice here unless they saw her actively nick the stuff, or have CCTV footage.

milkbottle · 14/06/2016 15:40

I am so sickened by some of the comments here. The OP is clearly very vulnerable and suffering from anxiety, she has come here to let off a bit of steam and ask for advice and she is being attacked and trollhunted by hoards of grown women. Such a shame to see that Mumsnet has come to this.

araiba · 14/06/2016 15:42

they checked cctv, it was inconclusive. no further action taken- op got her shopping for free

i still dont see what they have done that is wrong to get such an extreme reaction

user1465893706 · 14/06/2016 15:44

No i didnt get my shopping for free it was all taken back

OP posts:
Yambabe · 14/06/2016 15:46

Has anyone RTFT?

OP's humiliation wasn't to do with the razor blades. After she had paid for them and left the store the manager and several shop staff followed her to the carpark, surrounded her car so she couldn't leave, demanded to see her receipt (again) and effectively tried to search her car boot for other items that had not been paid for.

That's pretty intimidating for anyone, never mind a young woman who sounds like she may have anxiety issues anyway,

Hmm
2nds · 14/06/2016 15:47

Please don't go to the press about it or put it all over social media. I was in the news myself and had a really bad experience, name and picture plastered over 200 Web pages and I just wanted to crawl under a rock as the journalist added so much shit on the story I didn't even want to leave my house for about 8 months. Don't do it, it is not worth it, by all means make a complaint to the supermarket, but do not involve the media they are a pack of vultures

user1465893706 · 14/06/2016 15:49

For all those who took the time and read my post correctly and have seen it from my point of view thank you so very much for your support and advise. For the others you are very much so entitled to your own opinion (all though I was taught if you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all) I just hope you never have to face the overwealming intimidation and public humiliation I had to face that day.

OP posts:
Cherylene · 14/06/2016 15:54

why is everyone ignoring the fact that she was caught with unpaid for items?

OP was not caught with any unpaid items. There was a mistake on the till which was rectified by the OP going to a staff member, when it set of the bleeper (with no interest from the staff). When she left the store she had paid for everything in the trolley.

The store manager will not back down, even for the sake of good manners, and has twice called her a thief on no evidence.

I think a e-mail to HQ customer services is necessary, before any social media.

2nds · 14/06/2016 16:00

People are saying why would you think it was the razor blades?

I think it's possible that the shopping was mainly food shopping and cleaning products and if I had that kind of shopping in her position I too would think it was the razor blades, I'm. Sure most of us would.

TheEmmaDilemma · 14/06/2016 16:17

Agreed, it would take me a slit second to figure out it would be razor blades in that scenario. It's happened to me with steak when they didn't deactivate it properly. Doesn't need to be a big magnet security tag these days.

TheEmmaDilemma · 14/06/2016 16:18

*split second

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