Wrongfully accused of shoplifting!

[user1465893706]

Thursday I visited a well known supermarket that I frequently visit. Did my shopping fine (without the aid of kids....lovely) went to leave the shop and the alarm barriers went off, backed up my trolley (thought it may have been the gentleman walking beside me who had triggered the alarm) and tried again, same thing happened. I got the attention of the lady working on the self service checkouts and showed her my receipt. I told her the probable cause of the alarm was the razor blades I had purchased. She checked my receipt and couldn't find razor blades on it. I had to dig through my bags to finally find the razor blades in the middle of one of my bags. Was a little annoyed at this point as the checkout girl had obviously not scanned correctly (to busy moaning to me about supermarket and how she has got a new job lined up). I was then taken to customer services and I paid for the razor blades after pointing out that maybe they should have words with the checkout girl to make sure she scans products correctly. I then left the shop. Got to my car, had to repack most of my shopping as most of it had been taken out of the bags in search of the razor blades, loaded my bags into the boot, put the trolley in the bay, got into my car and went to put my key into the ignition (all this had taken a fair amount of time). Just as I was about to start the car I had a tap on my window. I opened my car door to a woman dressed in black who then asked to see my receipt?!? I explained to her that all this was sorted out in the shop and I had paid for the razor blades. She then continued to tell me that was not the issue and it was the fact I had a lot of products in my shopping trolley not bagged up??? At this point I was getting very frustrated. I emptied the contents of my handbag only to find receipts not their then realised they must be in my shopping bags in the boot. I had to get the woman to move out of my way (she had came round the side of my car door as if to block me in) to exit the car. When I got to the boot of my car I was astonished to see the manager behind my car and 4 other employees a little further up blocking the car park??? 6 people in total!!!! I'm a 5ft woman in her 20's!!!! At this point I was absolutely furious, shaking and on the verge of tears. I managed to find the receipts and got the woman to look in my car although after all that she wasn't bothered in checking all my bags and just simply said "I can see its all there" (how when its all packed I do not know) I then asked the woman and the manager for an apology. She begrudgingly apologised but the manager point blank refused saying " I don't have to apologise if I suspect a thieve" they then left me. Luckily there was someone who witnessed all this that knows me from sight from my daughters pre school so she calmed me down enough so I could drive home (although I do not remember actually driving home). Luckily my husband was at home that day and as soon as I got home I had a full blown panic attack. My husband calmed me down, got a friend to sit with me, and took all my shopping back and demanded a refund, he eventually got it. He asked to speak to the manager 3 times and each time he refused to come speak to my husband. On the 4th attempt he got the employee to relay on the phone that he was not willing to come and apologise as in his eyes I was still a thief? I have written a letter of complaint and am still awaiting I response.

Move on... if you are the highly strung tupe you do NOT want to launch into a legal battle here.

What is it you want from them?
Decide this and ask for it from their Customer Services Director (google them)

Bloody hate people wanging on about lawsuits when they've just had a bit of an upset, move on already... (posting on here is also just going to extend your angst... )

Get an apology and some vouchers and move on.

One Christmas I bought a computer game for my DH from a local store website. Once it arrived, I realized he already had it so I took it to the local store to get a refund. The website said I only needed the shipping receipt to get my refund from the store. When I arrived there, the clerk wouldn't accept the detailed shipping receipt. She loudly questioned my buying it and even said their inventory showed one was missing. She took the game and threw it into a basket behind her. I went home and printed out everything piece of correspondence about the purchase. I bought it back and a different clerk gave me my refund - he must have seen everything as he said very loudly "you must feel good to be vindicated!" I didn't go to the manager but I wish I had.
It's terrible what happened to you. I think you should follow your complaint all the way to the top of the managerial ladder.

Very heavy-handed on behalf of the shop. I would complain to the supermarket via their website, and not use them again. If you have a loyalty card include the number in your complaint if you are a regular customer.,they can then see exactly how much of your money you spend there. While shoplifting is a big problem, I would imagine shops are loathe to accuse honest customers and should give the benefit of the doubt. My dh is a nightmare with self-service tills. He marched out of Tesco with a packet of razors with the security thing on, set the alarms off, kept going wondering what the noise was! V hard getting the razors out of their packet! He then bought dD a pair of PJs and did the same thing. Couldn't get the tag off without ripping the fabric so had to take them back a few days later, with the receipt and ask for the tag to be removed. He completely baffled security staff in the Tate modern when he managed to set off the alarms on his way into the shop!!!

My wheelchair can set alarms off. Annoying. In asda the powered scooters have keys with the tag on so they always go off. It's embarrassing.

In order to steal something you must dishonestly disappropriate with the intention to permanently deprive.
By my reckoning:
You had no intention
You were not being dishonest
You did not permanently deprive as you were not off the premises (still being in the car park)

HI OP - I posted yesterday with my sympathy as I'd had a similar experience and saying how much it upset me. Just wanted to say that I hope you feel a bit better today and that you haven't let the various spiteful cats on AIBU get you down. As those of us who have been through this know, it is a truly horrible and humiliating experience. A bit of acceptance that something simple can be really traumatic from those who haven't experienced it would go a long way.....

I think the OP did it.

This happens to me all the time and it's absolutely awful. I have HF Autism so apparently i look (and have been told this by security) "dodgy", "nervous", "skittish", "frightened"... Well yeah... That's coz i'm scared of shopping! Thing is i have bright hair and covered in tattoos, i'm the most identifiable person in the world, i couldn't get away with stealing anything coz you cant miss me!

I always keep the receipts close to hand but i've been treated disgustingly by some staff/security, the worst ones are the smarmy looking blokes who are like "gotchaa", that think they've just came out of a movie! Mate you work in ASDA in a rural farming town get a grip.

I freak out if someone touches me.... Which they always do (grab the arm to stop you) so then they get all weird about it because i'm crying and hyperventilating. More than once i've been accused of "crocodile tears". If me or someone i'm with says that i'm Autistic they say it's a crap excuse. And people wonder why i'm scared of shopping.

OP I have so much sympathy for you (and the lady with the chocolate - sorry forgot your username - my God!). Off the top of my head the matter having been settled in store and the items in question having been paid for by the time you reached the car park they no longer had reasonable cause to suspect or detain you. It saddens me that this heavy handed behaviour is allowed to persist because so many people are resigned to that is the way it is, it shouldn't be.

I would certainly write to head office and consider defamation for the action in the car park.

So sorry this has happened, you must be feeling awful, glad you have a supportive husband and I hope you get your much deserved apology and the store manager sounds like he was on some kind of power trip, I imagine he's a rather pathetic little man.

A few years ago in Paris I set the alarms off on my way into every designer shop and was repeatedly stopped and searched by some very scary security guards who never found what was setting off the alarm. It completely ruined my holiday as I ended up being too nervous to go into the shops. It wasn't until I got home and set the alarms off in Next that a really nice store manager looked at my makeup and found one of the sticky security strips still on it, he said it happened all the time.

Anther time, the girl at the check out in H&M didn't remove a security tag, I had a screaming hungry baby and they made me wait and empty the entire pram infront of everyone. It was humiliating. I get major anxiety when shopping now, thank god for the Internet!

I think these types of people are channelling their deepest wish for power, and are imagining themselves as a one- man/ woman vigilante, taking down the bad guys one thief (innocent human) at a time...

I wonder why a tiny bit of power seems to turn into 'I can humiliate and defame any person I want'? I don't actually believe the 'oh but I thought she/ he was a thief' is any kind of excuse. Is their brief to behave in that way to thieves? Does the law say that store security must start a thiefs punishment the second they get a whiff of shop lifting? Do magistrates perhaps ask vigilante power crazed belligerent bastards to mete out justice for them? Prior to any crime being proved? And prior to any evidence being produced, reviewed and ascertained?

Some people get off on throwing their weight around. And a store security job would be ideal for getting their rocks off as they earn money.

Thank you for all the nice comments especially MissSeventies who took the time to reply again means a lot x

Forgot to say, my aunt went to Tescos to do a normal shop then trundled off about her day, only to find a message from her car repair garage on her phone. Calling back she found out that some bright spark in Tescos had her down as a shop lifter but didn't stop her on her way out of in the car park, although she took her time and also stopped for a chat in the car park, so not exactly a tough person to approach!

Instead they took down her license plate and the contact details of the break down garage she used, which was visible in the cars front window on a sticker of some kind.

Having done this they then phoned up the garage and told the garage that they were attempting to track down a shop lifter who had stolen a huge amount from that store 'though you'd never think to look at her', and they then asked the garage to 'run' the license plates and give the full name, address and contact details as the store staff needed to identify her!

Luckily the guy at the garage had a modicum of sense and refused to give my aunts details. Apparently the supermarket employee got angry at being refused and actually said that he'd done the garage a favor letting them know about this thief so she didn't steal off the garage too, and also as one shop to another shouldn't they be helping each other out (you know, from one major national supermarket chain to a small independent garage.. Err).

The garage person was so incensed at this that he phoned my aunt to let her know that this store was behaving so shockingly.

My poor aunt was really upset, that some complete stranger had made up a story about her, and was going round telling people that she knew and had to face again, that she was a criminal! Luckily the garage had known my aunt for years, and were about as shocked as my aunt was, but really, it was awful behavior and my poor aunt was too humiliated to take it further.

She went round asking the people manning the tills in shops to double check the receipt matched what she'd bought as she was so afraid of it happening again. It felt so personal to her, and very hard to put it down to a revolting wannabe sleuth behaving illegally in his quest to bag a thief, or brighten up a dull day by breaking a few laws around personal data, defamation etc.

This was a couple of years ago but still makes me seethe. Rest assured OP, you're not the only person to have been upset by this

I was stopped on my way out of Asda 13 years ago while 8 months pregnant. The security guard did the whole "Have any items you've forgotten to pay for?" spiel. I said no and went to dig the receipt from my purse. He then informed me that a member of staff saw me remove a pack of baby vests and put them in my bag. Said member of staff was stood watching us and when she saw me give the guard daggers she came steaming over to stick the boot in. I was then asked to show them what I had in my handbag. So yes I pulled the package of vests from my bag and gave them to her. When she saw they were from Adams the blood drained from her face. I'd been looking at baby clothes and noticed that the vests were identical in every way except price (dearer at Asda) and I'd taken them out to compare them. The fact that she told the guard that she actually saw me take them off the hook and nonchalantly drop them into my bag made me laugh. I didn't ask for an apology. Her humiliation after her public accusation was punishment enough for her.

I really feel for you user1465893706, the manager's actions were disgraceful. I would have felt exactly the same as you at the time, and haunted by it ever since. I am so pleased that you have the support of your husband and he acts on it.

Press on with this. Escalate. The manager was willing to defame your character in front of others, albeit on private property but in front of members of the public and his staff. His behaviour is shocking, I read this an hour ago and still feel just as strongly.

Your husband must have put on a formidable show for them to refund everything. Plus the manager didn't have the guts to come down to argue with him. Fantastic Father's Day is coming.

Mummyme a similar thing happened to us only it was our daughters prom. I took it back to babies'r'us and explained the situation. I didn't have the receipt but they gave me an exchange for a different or am. The only reason they could give me was that a security tag may have fallen into the Priam during production. I didn't believe that excuse to be honest.

I can't find the post where someone said about the sticky alarm label on their make up. This happened to me recently, luckily on the way in to the supermarket so I spoke to the security guard who asked if I had make up in my bag. I handed it to him and he found the label and destroyed it.

OP I hope you are feeling better, if I remember correctly this happened last Thursday so nearly a week ago. Have you taken any action yet? Have you decided what to do? I would have been really upset if this had happened to me and it would have taken me a couple of weeks to get over. I hope your ok.

*pram - how on earth can I miss type it 3 times in 3 different ways lol

Are we taking bets yet of what supermarket it is? I bet my house it's fucking Asda.

People asking about card refunds - DH and I have a joint credit card we use for household stuff, so same long card number. It's only debit cards on joint accounts that have different numbers. So if OP used joint credit card there is nothing wrong with her DH getting the refund - he is an authorised 2nd cardholder (or vice versa)

"In my eyes she's still a thief".

After she's been vindicated, to me, that's defamation of a person's character.

They couldn't apologise to me enough when I was wrongly accused, it was a busy city centre store that had just opened and the security guard was overzealous if he was nothing else. There was only one exit out, and you can imagine how busy it would have been in early evening, nobody could leave the store until he'd checked my bags and they all had to stop and watch me (on account of them only being one exit out and the guard stopping me bang outside the exit) go through the humiliation. I had both the DCs with me and it shook my DD up as she thought mummy had been naughty and was going to get arrested. In their letter, I got a written apology, a voucher and an assurance that said guard would be sent on a refresher course. I was in my exercise gear as was going / coming from a class (cant remember which one now as was years ago) and we'd nipped into the store to get something for the DCs to eat whilst waiting for my DM to get off a coach trip she'd just been on. I still maintain that if I'd walked in there suited and booted that evening the guard wouldn't have even looked twice at me.

OP, I'm really uncomfortable with them thinking and being able to surround your car like that. That needs addressing sharply especially as you had gone back to sort the item that hadn't scanned and paid for all your shopping. They appear to be like the guard I encountered that night, on nothing but a power trip. It leaves you shaken up, I hope you're okay now.

Mistakes are made re security tag, I remember getting dd a lovely outfit from boots when she was a baby, got it home and the tag was still on, stupid me thought I could just pull it off, orange dye EVERYWHERE. I took it back, profusely apologised and they kindly exchanged with my receipt.
Keep us updated OP.

Trying to cut a long story (and sorry if this has been mentioned but not RFT): I recently had an item costing £25 that I hadn't bought, on my supermarket receipt (a smoking cessation kit in case it's relevant). It appeared smack bang in the middle of my shop so obvs wasn't mistakenly the previous or next customer's item either.
Having noticed a few days later I complained to cust.services and the manager went and watched back my entire checkout footage on CCTV!! I was then presented with a Very generous refund and no further explanation, but I assume he was off to issue a P45 to the checkout person who'd tried to steal from me.
My point being, you need to formally request that checkout footage for when you take the insolent little upstart jobsworth of a store manager to court to be hauled over a few coals.
Good luck, and sorry this happened to you X

Apologies, mistake with posting. Have asked HQ to delete.

Cheddarella I'd have been livid!

I did say above that CCTV should be looked at as many stores have these to stop employees stealing or being dishonest!