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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Wrongfully accused of shoplifting!

266 replies

user1465893706 · 14/06/2016 11:10

Thursday I visited a well known supermarket that I frequently visit. Did my shopping fine (without the aid of kids....lovely) went to leave the shop and the alarm barriers went off, backed up my trolley (thought it may have been the gentleman walking beside me who had triggered the alarm) and tried again, same thing happened. I got the attention of the lady working on the self service checkouts and showed her my receipt. I told her the probable cause of the alarm was the razor blades I had purchased. She checked my receipt and couldn't find razor blades on it. I had to dig through my bags to finally find the razor blades in the middle of one of my bags. Was a little annoyed at this point as the checkout girl had obviously not scanned correctly (to busy moaning to me about supermarket and how she has got a new job lined up). I was then taken to customer services and I paid for the razor blades after pointing out that maybe they should have words with the checkout girl to make sure she scans products correctly. I then left the shop. Got to my car, had to repack most of my shopping as most of it had been taken out of the bags in search of the razor blades, loaded my bags into the boot, put the trolley in the bay, got into my car and went to put my key into the ignition (all this had taken a fair amount of time). Just as I was about to start the car I had a tap on my window. I opened my car door to a woman dressed in black who then asked to see my receipt?!? I explained to her that all this was sorted out in the shop and I had paid for the razor blades. She then continued to tell me that was not the issue and it was the fact I had a lot of products in my shopping trolley not bagged up??? At this point I was getting very frustrated. I emptied the contents of my handbag only to find receipts not their then realised they must be in my shopping bags in the boot. I had to get the woman to move out of my way (she had came round the side of my car door as if to block me in) to exit the car. When I got to the boot of my car I was astonished to see the manager behind my car and 4 other employees a little further up blocking the car park??? 6 people in total!!!! I'm a 5ft woman in her 20's!!!! At this point I was absolutely furious, shaking and on the verge of tears. I managed to find the receipts and got the woman to look in my car although after all that she wasn't bothered in checking all my bags and just simply said "I can see its all there" (how when its all packed I do not know) I then asked the woman and the manager for an apology. She begrudgingly apologised but the manager point blank refused saying " I don't have to apologise if I suspect a thieve" they then left me. Luckily there was someone who witnessed all this that knows me from sight from my daughters pre school so she calmed me down enough so I could drive home (although I do not remember actually driving home). Luckily my husband was at home that day and as soon as I got home I had a full blown panic attack. My husband calmed me down, got a friend to sit with me, and took all my shopping back and demanded a refund, he eventually got it. He asked to speak to the manager 3 times and each time he refused to come speak to my husband. On the 4th attempt he got the employee to relay on the phone that he was not willing to come and apologise as in his eyes I was still a thief? I have written a letter of complaint and am still awaiting I response.

OP posts:
blindsider · 14/06/2016 14:06

PHead

....you weren't at any point accused of shoplifting. The store asked to see your receipt and your purchases.

You are clearly missing the bit where the store manager called her a thief.

Peridotisinvalid · 14/06/2016 14:07

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut "I'm confused. You used the self service checkout and yet your shopping was scanned by a checkout girl?"

The OP did NOT say she used the self-service checkout.

user1465893706 · 14/06/2016 14:09

No I said i got the last from the self service checkouts to check my receipt

OP posts:
MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 14/06/2016 14:11

Ah sorry I misread.

No need to shout Periodot Hmm

legotits · 14/06/2016 14:13

More reading comprehension.
Less Columboing trying to find any thread discrepancies.

OP it's shit, do what Farandole said but I would add you are giving them opportunity to resolve before you use social media.

PHeadPH · 14/06/2016 14:14

Blindsider I really don't think the manager was accusing her of being a thief, surely he meant he doesn't have to apologise for asking for receipts etc if he THINKS there may have been a possibility of someone stealing.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 14/06/2016 14:17

Oh fuck off. I asked a polite question and I wasn't "Columboing" I was reading a thread and doing the actions to Mr Tumble actually.

We're all allowed to misread something now and again. Especially in a long op without paragraphs.

So you can lose the snarky comments thanks.

blindsider · 14/06/2016 14:19

PHead

On the 4th attempt he got the employee to relay on the phone that he was not willing to come and apologise as in his eyes I was still a thief?

seems pretty clear to me...

mylovegoesdown · 14/06/2016 14:20

Complain to head office.

No need for all the drama llama stuff. Solicitors, false imprisonment, trauma, European Court of human rights. ...come on.

LauraMipsum · 14/06/2016 14:30

You can't take a supermarket to the European Court of Human Rights because a supermarket is not an organ of the state or acting in the function of a state body.

Buckinbronco · 14/06/2016 14:39

OP you've had some excellent advice from a lawyer here and i would only follow this. I also agree with a PP that you need to give yourself a bit of a talking to and woman up a bit. Really horrible thing to happen and I would be raging but a semi breakdown is OTT

witsender · 14/06/2016 14:44

Is this still going on? Such an overreaction/storm in a teacup.

DoloresVanCartier · 14/06/2016 14:44

OP that's shit and I'm sorry you had that experience and I too would be fuming.

To the "man up" and "drama llama" etc. Posters, why would you say something like that? Clearly the experience has had a bad defect on the OP. I suffer from severe PTSD and if this happened to me it would likely throw me over the edge into full blown panic attack lets get the ambulance for this one lads!!

Please be kind to each other. What you can cope with and would brush off could quite easily be the straw that broke the camels back for others! Sad

DoloresVanCartier · 14/06/2016 14:45

** effect not defect

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp · 14/06/2016 14:45

The oddest thing about all this is that her DH got a refund!!!

1/ did you buy food? Why did they refund it if so? I thought they only refunded if faulty/gone off etc.... Did they risk taking back food to re sell?

Also

2/ I asked how op paid....assume card?

NavyAndWhite · 14/06/2016 14:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PHeadPH · 14/06/2016 14:56

Blindsider.
Agghh, I missed that! That is shady then.

I'm suprised that a store manager would actually say that though. As in I'm really, really, really surprised Hmm Confused

araiba · 14/06/2016 15:01

i think the supermarket were well within their rights to question how the most expensive individual item, notorious for being a theft target was the thing they found in your bag and that it was not paid for.

i have no idea if you stole it or not, but i can see why they were suspicious.

all the false imprisonment, defamation etc is just guff on the side- you were found with an expensive, unpaid for item

babyblabber · 14/06/2016 15:02

I'm in a different country so not sure if same applies but you can sue for defamation for circumstances like that. You'd have far more chance of that succeeding than false imprisonment.

user1465893706 · 14/06/2016 15:04

I paid on card and he got a refund because he wouldn't take no for an answer and yes I had food and yes they was going to re sell before my husband promtly informed them that the chilled and frozen would have to be wasted as he is also a store manager

OP posts:
PHeadPH · 14/06/2016 15:04

Delores I understand why you think it's not helpful to be telling the OP that she is making too big a deal about this but, if you look at it another way, it can be very helpful to hear all opinions. It might make the OP have a rethink and decide she is getting overly stressed about it and that it wasn't as outrageous as she thinks. You could argue that all the OMG, that's horrendous posts are more likely to escalate the OPs stress levels.

Hopefully posters who suffer nervous conditions or have things like PTSD would know not to post asking for opinions on AIBU. Confused. That would be a daft thing to do.

TheMockTurtle · 14/06/2016 15:05

You poor thing! Being wrongly accused is awful! I know! Years ago I lived in the USA for a summer. My fiancé and I were in a CVS pharmacy and out of no where I was told not to leave the shop as my bag was obviously bigger than it was when I came in. The next thing I know the police turned up and stood behind me waiting for the nod to arrest me. I waited patiently (with my fiancé and the police man) while they reviewed the CCTV footage. They took over half an hour. Then the sour face old bag who had accused me came out, said something quietly to the police man who left. She went back in to the office, leaving us there for another 15 minutes or so, finally emerging to tell me I could go, although she knew I had done it. We of course asked to see the footage, she refused. We asked why, she said we 'disappeared' from view and they couldn't see me commit the offence. Earlier we had asked for an apology when she discovered we were not thieves and she had said something like "oh of course I'll apologise, but I won't have to'. We then asked for our apology which was not an apology. It went something like "well, I know you stole items, but I'm sorry we couldn't catch you out".

It was awful. I complained via phone to the manager the next day. Either he didn't care or he couldn't understand my thick Irish accent. I was offered nothing as an apology. It makes you feel like an actual criminal! I'll never forget the experience! I was shaking as I stood there waiting all that time. I knew I had done nothing wrong, but I was so fearful anyway!

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 14/06/2016 15:11

I think everyone understands that innocent people are going to get checked out from time to time, but when nothing is found you would then expect the staff to be polite and apologetic, which would go a long way to smooth things over and make the shopper feel better.

On a related note, though this wasn't a self-checkout, does anyone else avoid self-checkouts partly for this reason? If you make a mistake (as is easy to do in a stressful environment especially if you have kids distracting you) you're never going to be able to prove it wasn't deliberate.

SuperFlyHigh · 14/06/2016 15:17

Chaz I stand corrected then... I would still argue myself that the cashier hadn't scanned the item correctly. Not my fault she is not doing her job properly.

In fact I was in Tescos today buying a reduced pork pie - it would not scan however much I tried to - the Tescos CS woman there waved it through saying 'don't worry they don't scan sometimes' refusing payment. Her call.

araiba · 14/06/2016 15:19

but when nothing is found you would then expect the staff to be polite and apologetic,

something was found

an expensive something

an expensive something that hadnt been paid for

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