To wish people wouldn't chat in coffee shops

[SybilEngineer]

Sitting in Costa with a latte choc muffin and my iPad. Can't concentrate because I'm surrounded by people yattering on about the Queen's birthday celebrations, their ailments in too much detail, conducting interviews for dodgy sounding jobs and making loud phone calls.

AIBU to wish they'd STFU and let me enjoy my coffee in peace?

'tranche'?? 'fizzogg'???

Have I just wandered into Shakespearean Mumsnet

Fizzog is a great word, my dad used to say it all the time, ooh that's right taken me back.

hazey I just like colourful language that forriners use (>neither word is Shakesperean fyi)

People are bad most of the time. Talking people are even worse. Why can't they just text/fb messenger/whatsapp/whatever each other?

I know yoko, but I am being distracted by Mumsnet whilst writing an essay, I haven't got time for researching the origin of words, Shakespearean was quicker, for effect.

Half the point of going to a coffee shop is so you can sit and chat to people.

Loud Music in these places annoys me though. Can't concentrate properly on conversation if the music's too loud.

hazey I suffered from a fail there, apologies.

Whispers...are we making too much noise, here, OP?

I'm with you OP. I also wish people wouldn't go to the cinema when I do. I can't bear their rustling and snuffling. They should stay at home and rustle and snuffle on their own sofa.

Crikey op, who spat in your beancurd????

Chill

Coffee shops are where people meet. For talking 'n' stuff

People are bad most of the time. Talking people are even worse. Why can't they just text/fb messenger/whatsapp/whatever each other?

Couldn't agree more. MrsJoeyMaynard, I take it you prefer your coffee with featherbeds of whipped cream?

Get a takeaway coffee and sit at home being a miserable bugger how very dare they chat w hen you want peace all those chatty feckers chatting

Of course you're not being unreasonable. People should be completely silent when they leave the house. They shouldn't even breathe noisily for fear of upsetting a random iPad user in a cafe

I was dragged went to a coffee shop last week and there was a little girl on the next table, who told me it was her 4th Birthday.

Her parents and grandparents had took her in there, before seeing something at the theatre.

Anyway, you could tell she was minding her P's and Q's and probably feeling quite grown up, eating her slice of cake with the adults.

She needed to interrupt their conversation, so she said in a loud and confident voice, "Excuse me Mummy but please could you ask the bastard behind the counter, for a serviette?"

The adults looked mortified and screamed, "Barista! He's a Barista darling!!!

Then stick some earphones in...

Coffee shops are for socialising, not sitting in silence. If you want quiet then go to a library.

Worra my mother would let "bastard" pass but scream "Napkin! Its a napkin darling!"

Oh the bastard behind the counter

The coffee is shit in libraries.

Much nicer to have a silent contemplative coffee in Starbucks, except the general unwashed seem to insist on populating it.

re libraries, I want to kill the wankers on their phones

They allow PHONES in libraries?

Kitchen

"It's a bastard napkin darling!!"

Is this a joke? Go to a library if you want quiet reading! Coffees shops are specifically for conversation and sober socialising.

Of course YABU...buy a tassimo machine and some Costa pods and stay at home!

Snort worra when DS1 was about 2 he tried to engage our plumber in conversation about his progress by enquiring, 'BUGGERRR? BUGGER! What you doing?'

Buy a coffee machine?

I bet it's a serviette in Costa and a napkin in Fortnum and Mason's.