To think you don't walk over a grave?

[memememe94]

My DBrother died 12 years ago today, aged only 26. My parents have never recovered from it.

DM rang me tonight very upset because while she was at his grave today, another woman visiting the grave next to her (who was chatting to my Mum while tidying the grave) walked straight over my brother's grave twice in front of my Mum.

I've always thought it's wrong to walk over any grave and have always walked around--never mind doing it in front of someone. AIB old-fashioned, or was this women incredibly rude?

Yanbu. I can't believe someone would do that apart from a child who hadn't been told.

A grave yard I walk through it would be nigh on impossible to avoid the graves. The old ones anyway. There are signs saying they are slippy when wet so presume it is accepted they will be walked on.

I feel for your Mum op, my brother died aged 20 17 years ago. I went to his grave at the weekend having not gone there for some time and felt massive anger towards the new person who lives in the old priests house where the cemetery is. The last couple always mowed the grass and it looks such a mess now. it is a tiny cemetery. I can imagine that what happened caused your Mum anguish, so disrespectful.

Oh, meme, I so feel for them! We live in a rural village, and elected to lay our daughter to rest in the nearest city, the largest in Scotland, as we know our children cannot stay here and when they go, we will, too. It is a very large and active Catholic cemetery. I understand how she feels. Although he is gone, it is her link to him.

DD1's plot has room for 3, so we will go in with her (we would like to be cremated and our ashes interred with her), but I can understand how she feels and how you do, too. Although I have not lost a sibling, I know it is different for DD1's brother and sister because she is their sister and not their child.

I'm very sorry for your loss and your mother is right to be upset. I just hope she does not see this woman again or perhaps there is some way to get the point across about behaviour in cemeteries.

I read stones all the time. I can even tell how old they are, at a glance, what era they are from. I can quote so many. There are some I see more often than I see my daughter's, due to the distance, and always try to be respectful, even very old ones, even carved stones 700 years old. I speak to them. I hope they can hear me.

She was rude.

If the graves are clearly marked then of course you do not walk over them. We were at our cemetary last week tending my grandads grave. That part of the cemetary is where the grass has grown over them, (unless it has a surround) You can't see the boundry from one plot to the next, so is inevitable that will walk over someone's grave at some stage. (Especially as I have a habit of tidying other graves that flowers/ornaments etc have blown in the wind, or clearing dead flowers waiting to be taken away!)

But on the other side where mil is buried most graves are clearly marked have not been overgrown so it's easy to keep to the borders.

Totally disrespectful to deliberately step on someone's place of rest.

I don't have a problem with walking over graves - probably because the floor of the church I used to attend as a youngster consisted of hardly anything other than gravestones, so it was physically impossible to walk around it and not step on them. I wouldn't do it a cemetery in front of a relative though, that's just common sense.

i was brought up Never to walk on graves, i walk through a churchyard with my dog and would never walk or let my dog or family walk on graves.
horrible.