Help me gain some perspective please!

[passmethewineplease]

So..PIL have once again gone completely against my wishes. My 1 year old (20 months old) is still rearfacing in our car. She's happy, we're happy.

PIL have bought her a forward facing seat despite my feelings on the matter. (Actually if you look bad you'll see my first thread when they did this with my son a good few months ago)

I just feel like my wishes have completely been ignored, DP says he's alright with it as it is safe and legal. I how ever want the safest thing possible for the DC.

She will probably be in the seat one a week at the most. It's a good enough seat. (Duoplus)

I don't really know why I'm posting here. I guess I just want someone to say I'm overreacting and put my mind at ease.

I can't shake the anxious feeling I've got about her being in it. DP doesn't get it.

the safest thing is how they drive - awareness and lack of distraction. As long as the car is secure and the straps are tightened until her eyes bulge (just kidding...) the additional risk is small.

but if you don't like it, either stop them giving her lifts or buy the seat you want for their car.

Yabu sorry.

If you are that concerned about it then buy the seat you are happy with for their car otherwise suck it up.

They are perfectly safe for her to be in provided they are for the correct weight that she is. Seats go on this no age and you don't mention how heavy she is.

She's definitely more than 9kg.

I do have a seat for their car, it's belted and so simple to install. They seem to have something against RF, I'm not sure tbh.

Our relationship is still recovering from a previous argument (tbf first argument in 5 years, this isn't a regular occurance.

I don't really want to stop them as they are hands on grandparents and DC and them enjoy their time together.

I just don't know how to stop this anxious feeling.

I like to choose my battles. I wouldn't choose this battle. It is a new seat, they bought it, seats are expensive, it is a good seat. Your DD will stay in the forward facing seat for longer than she would in the backwards facing. It is the best value solution.

That's not to say they aren't doing it to bully you, maybe they are, especially if they have form, but it is not worth getting at all worked up about. You'll look crazed and will not be taken seriously about worse stuff.

It's about how they drive when it comes down to it. RF is safer but I think for the amount of time your DC will spend in its then it's fine. Ultimately your the parent so you have to be happy about it. If you can't get over it then buy a RF one for their car your both happy with

I do understand that we only want the complete best and safest option for our children. It's completely reasonable to be upset that you feel it won't be the safest option.

However, if they're safe drivers then she will be safe in a forward facing seat. If she was to be in it everyday it might be different but she'll only be in it once a week maybe so I'm sure she will be completely safe!

When I first started reading your post I though you meant they bought you a forward facing seat to use all the time in your own car. That would be out of order.

But for a once a week using it in their own car thing, I wouldn't worry to much. My in laws do the same. I'd feel unreasonable asking them to buy a rear facing seat for their car when only used once a week. They rarely drive on roads with over 40mph speed limit too.

There are risks everywhere, and tbh I wouldn't make this into a battle.