Are we a nightmare to live next door to?

[squinker45]

Me and d h child mind from home. We have d s 6 and d d 4, plus up to 5 other under fives. Nice weather means the kids are in the garden every day from 830 to 930 then 3 to 5, then 5..30 to 6. The rest of the time we are out at groups, or eating or sleeping etc. Neighbours hate us! They came round to complain saying this is a nice quiet area and her kids, teenagers, could not revise under these conditions. Also that she knows the other neighbours, who have barking dogs,feel the same as she does. They are old friends and their kids are the same age. Bet it wasn't a nice quiet area ten years ago when they got the paddling pool out. Aibu to think they are being overly arsey? We have only been here six months. Semi detached house. No complaints about the noise from within the house but a clear expectation to keep noise in the garden to a whisper. We work four days a week, neighbour works 2.

Yes you are being unkind. Your neighbours teenage children need only these few weeks of quiet so you could be a good neighbour and go to the park in the afternoon. You could arrange structured play with artwork, do storytelling, making a den pretending to be hibernating bears practicing for the winter, gardening, cooking. They don't have to be running around the garden screaming and shouting do they?

I know it's legal but yes, I would find this awful - I really value my peace and quiet.

YANBU. It's 3 hours a day for four days a week, ie 12 hours a week. There's still plenty of hours in the week when the neighbours can have their precious silence. Even for revising teenagers, if they think those 12 hours are going to make all the difference to their exams then they have bigger problems already,. Living together is all about give AND take. It sounds like you neighbours want to only take. Children have just as much right to enjoy the outdoors as anyone else.

I'm a childminder too and my lot are out in the garden a lot too, however not before school as 1 of my neighbours is a police man and works shifts. I also try to take them to the park a lot, in fact the past couple of weeks we've been at the park every afternoon after school with another 3/4 childminders and their kids too so has meant they all have loads of friends there and all love it. Gives my neighbours ears a bit of a break. Is this something you could consider? If any kids are getting picked up while we are there I just text parents to meet us there.

I realise that these situations are always relative to the person affected, but find this really quite petty tbh. We have horrendous neighbours, you name it - they have done it! Shouting, swearing, loud (wall shaking) music for hours on end, kicking balls against the wall & fence, deliberately blocking our drive, disgusting state of gardens (including cat excrement that stinks), motorbikes revving, dirty looks, as soon as the sun is out they have constant bbq parties, broken windows, constant smoking of cigarettes and weed, slagging us off on social media..... the list goes on.....and all because we dared to try and address their anti-social music and all night parties (when we first moved in). It is hell on a stick, 4 days a week of several children in their garden for only a few hours a day would be a dream!

I feel for your neighbours. I have 3 DC's and have often felt sorry for my neighbours as they are lively and noisy but 7 very young children every day for hours on end starting at 8:30am in the morning. I think YABU. I think you should take the children out, I think it's selfish to just use the garden all the time. This is not just family noise as the children will not grow up they will be replaced by a new group as you are running a business. I would also check that there is nothing in your house deeds, covenants etc to restrict you from running a business like this from home. A lot of my previous properties restrict this.

Also as you are semi detached, they probably have the constant noise coming through the walls when you are not in the garden.

I definitely think it is all relative. Where I grew up our neighbours would regularly have screaming fights that spread on to the street. Our other neighbours kids would set fires in the alleyways and vacant properties on a nightly basis. The dad clearly dealt drugs from the people who used to knock there day and night. If you think that someone having a childminding business living next door to you means you need to move then you need a reality check. You could end up with much worse neighbours. The op has 5 children there 4 days a week and 6 for one day. Not 7 or 8 (the number seems to be getting bigger as the thread goes on). The children are out there for 3 hours a day and not excessively noisy. The op is doing nothing wrong.

I thought op looked after 5 and had 2 DC's of her own, One of which is at school so thought she had 6? Must have read it wrong.

She said that on the 1 day she has 6 they are collected at the school when she gets her ds. All the mindees don't attend every day.

One of them is collected at the school that should say.

I think it's fine tbh. It's a garden, children should be outside, and childminders are needed

However I suggest maybe trying to activelh reduce noise levels. If there's 2 of you then one can always be outside with them, and any screeching can result in being bought inside for a few minutes ( especially if it's your own 4 year old mainly)

8.30-9.30 , do go outside, but use that time for quiet outdoor activities like chalk drawing/ playdough on garden table/ in sandpit/ looking for bugs etc. Not so much running around which generally increases loudness

Then again in the afternoon. 3-6 is great that children there get a long outdoor play. However I don't think they need to be running around screeching for that time. Try and split it up so they have 30 mins to run about and climb and play freely. Then get them doing an activity outdoors again for an hour. Followed by another 30 mins running about. After they eat 5.30-6pm again outdoors but could that be outdoor reading time or similar. They can all be outside on blanket and pillows, one of you reads to them, one of you tidies from dinner and open door for parents as they arrive. Children go home calmer after 20-30 mins of stories

My OAP parents tut and complain at any slight noise from neighbours coughing to children laughing, when my brother and I were young we were out of the house from 8.30 am everyday and told to play and I can remember we kicked a football around for hours everyday..... I remind them of this but they truly cannot see the hypocrisy in their actions..... Also my mum thinks nothing of mowing her lawn at 8.30am on a weekend..... NO you are NBU the hours the children are playing seem acceptable to me, live your life and ignore them, they are bullying you.

Nothing wrong with the times.. But if your kids are like my neighbours, they can't seem to control the noise they make...totally unnecessary roaring, screaming and shouting. Then there's the footballs that come over the fence several times a day. (It's not Wembley, so why kick so high and hard???)And I'm a TA and used to playground noise! It does my head in, but my neighbours think we are unreasonable. My youngest is doing GCSEs at the moment, and even he complains!!!
I always taught my kids to have respect for neighbours and keep the noise down.

Dh and I childmind up to 12 children at once. We have planning permission and have had environmental health round to check noise levels.

We don't allow them to play in the garden before 9am, they know they're not allowed to kick balls against the fence and shrieking is actively discouraged. We sold our trampoline, because we realised it was a source of noise.

We speak to our neighbours regularly and they let us know if someone is ill, working shifts, got an elderly relative to stay, etc, so we can be as considerate as possible.

One neighbour has also commented how the three children who live on the other side of his property are much noisier than ours.

Playing outside does not (necessarily) mean lazy childminding. It can be a mixture of free play, stories, mark making, mud kitchens, etc etc. All things children need. Children learn much more when they are moving at the same time.

I think it's a bit give and take. I live in a row of houses, I love it when no one else is in their garden & I enjoy quiet. However when you don't live in the middle of nowhere other people's noise is somewhat inevitable. If your neighbour had come round not all guns blazing and said "is there any chance at x time the noise could be kept minimal as my kids are revising, thanks I appreciate your understanding" maybe you'd feel less stressed by the confrontation? Everyone has different lifestyles and tolerance levels but personally I use to live in a block of flats above the cast from shameless so I really would take living next to you rather well.