Are we a nightmare to live next door to?

[squinker45]

Me and d h child mind from home. We have d s 6 and d d 4, plus up to 5 other under fives. Nice weather means the kids are in the garden every day from 830 to 930 then 3 to 5, then 5..30 to 6. The rest of the time we are out at groups, or eating or sleeping etc. Neighbours hate us! They came round to complain saying this is a nice quiet area and her kids, teenagers, could not revise under these conditions. Also that she knows the other neighbours, who have barking dogs,feel the same as she does. They are old friends and their kids are the same age. Bet it wasn't a nice quiet area ten years ago when they got the paddling pool out. Aibu to think they are being overly arsey? We have only been here six months. Semi detached house. No complaints about the noise from within the house but a clear expectation to keep noise in the garden to a whisper. We work four days a week, neighbour works 2.

Well my DC used to be that age once and I don't miss the noise.
8.30am!!!
Under 5s do tend to shout and squeal and shriek.

My teenagers are revising but at 8.30am they are fast asleep and so am I
I wouldn't dream of mowing the grass before 11am.
I think a compromise is in order here.

But people need childminders! And the op could feasibly have 6 children under 5 herself (maybe with a set of twins thrown in). Would anyone be suggesting she needed to take them to a playcentre every afternoon to keep the neighbours happy. There's been no suggestion that the children are making anything other than regular playing noise - I'm assuming as a cm she would deal with silly screaming etc.

Aibu to think they are being overly arsey?

YABU. People do like peace and quiet at times. I would be very annoyed at the level of noise made by that number of kids all day.

I knew someone might say the OP could have a crazy number in her own family. But that still least would put a time limit on things, now the neighbours are faced with professional childminders in a residence, this could go on for 20 years.

I would feel the same as your neighbours, 7 children every non-rainy day is way beyond what I would call reasonable in a semi detached house, I know they won't be making a lot of noise all the time, but it is going to be a lot of the time. Most families have fewer children in their gardens and for shorter or less frequent periods of time, you have effectively set up a nursery in your home. There is presumable quite a bit of disturbance with them all being dropped off and picked up again too. YABU.

Thanks, mumsnet, extremely wise advice. We do go to the park of course but if you are cooking tea etc we need to be here. I tried to ask (during the extremely passive aggressive bollocking I got) whether there was an acceptable time to be children in the garden but she implied that there was not. Also, I am to tell my two year olds not to say my name repeatedly. Why don't I have a rule about that? Oh yes, never thought of that, that's sure to work

The children we look after,in general, don't shriek. Most of the noise comes from my four year old unfortunately

If your neighbour set up a doggy daycare from home and had 8 dogs in the garden all day, how would you feel?

I'm not sure how the op having a 6 yo, a 4 yo and a MAXIMUM of 5 under 5's who are out there for SOME of the day has turned into 7 kids screaming all day. The 6 yo is probably in school so that would be a maximum of 6 kids on days she is full and she has an assistant so they won't necessarily all be out at the same time. Mo mention of screaming which any good cm would deal with. Strange how another very similar thread on here has had the opposite response.

But people need childminders! And the op could feasibly have 6 children under 5 herself

If the OP had that amount of children, she would probably be living in a much larger house. Larger houses tend to have more space outside and are further away from other homes. Shoe-horning all those children and childminders into an average 3-bed semi every day is not reasonable, and it's not what the house was built to accommodate.

Actually the neighbour with the barking dogs is a dog rescue centre, but I would never dream of complaining, even if the noise was driving me nuts, for the following reasons which all by the also apply to me: you cannot stop a dog barking (child talking loudly) ; she (me) is providing a much needed service; if I complained to her she would hate me forever until I either die or move house

I think I'd have to move. I sometimes have to work nights and it'd be impossible to sleep even with ear plugs. Plus its too hot to have all the windows shut.

It's a 5 bed semi. Not my fault modern developers sell off gardens for housing

Do you rent or own?

Personally I'd just sit in my garden playing death metal and misogynistic rap really really loud to drown out the noise of the kids.

But I've got a headache and I can be a petty miserable bitch when I've got a headache.

Sounds like a nightmare for your poor neighbours.

7 children of 6 and under would be pretty noisy and listening to that day in day out would piss anyone off. Y may NBBU in the eyes of the law, but I think YABU as a good neighbour.

I know there is an supervising adult to child and the more adults that work in your business the more children you can have, but I have no idea what the cut off number is in a domestic premises rather than a business premises that runs as a nursery/creche.

Personally for domestic premises I think it would be reasonable to cap it at 6 children total including your own, but I suppose it also depends on the age of the children and your proximity to neighbours etc, and perhaps should be assessed on an individual basis.

It's a tricky one. I probably wouldn't complain if I lived next door, but I would swear under my breath a lot about it.

sorry that should have said supervising adult to child ratio

Ooh... and I'd have my nieces and nephews round at 6am on a Sunday morning and have DP smoking so the smoke drifts in to your house and garden.

I would struggle to work from home next to all that. It would sound like an infants' school most of the time. On the other hand I wouldn't want the kids to be cooped up in nice weather either. I think you need to have set playtimes, say 10.30-11.30 and 3-4, and decamp to a park the rest of the time.

If I was your neighbour this would drive me nuts. If you live next door to a family you understand that you may get some noise at weekends or you can at least console yourself that at some stage the children would be at school during the week. But in these circumstances your neighbours will know that the noise will be never-ending because the children you are minding will be replaced by others on a non-stop basis. 8.30 is certainly too early to let them into the garden and I imagine that this number of children will be making an awful racket. I think I'd have to consider moving and would feel very resentful that I'd been driven out of my home so you can make money.

YABU. To be honest with you yes your kids are making noise and certainly at those times it could be considered disruptive if you don't monitor them screeching etc.

Add in teens wanting to revise with windows open and unless they can screen out noise I can see they'd find it hard.

having said that - my mum was telling me the other day she often had us (me and brother) plus up to 3 friends of mine (2 x sisters and maybe another friend) and 1 or more of brother - we had paddling pool (swimming pool with sides at one point) and I'm sure we weren't quiet...

I like your style MilkTwoSugars