Are we a nightmare to live next door to?

[squinker45]

Me and d h child mind from home. We have d s 6 and d d 4, plus up to 5 other under fives. Nice weather means the kids are in the garden every day from 830 to 930 then 3 to 5, then 5..30 to 6. The rest of the time we are out at groups, or eating or sleeping etc. Neighbours hate us! They came round to complain saying this is a nice quiet area and her kids, teenagers, could not revise under these conditions. Also that she knows the other neighbours, who have barking dogs,feel the same as she does. They are old friends and their kids are the same age. Bet it wasn't a nice quiet area ten years ago when they got the paddling pool out. Aibu to think they are being overly arsey? We have only been here six months. Semi detached house. No complaints about the noise from within the house but a clear expectation to keep noise in the garden to a whisper. We work four days a week, neighbour works 2.

becky as I thought a lazy childminder who obviously can't be bothered to do anything else apart from shove the kids in the garden, no finger painting, play dough, Lego etc...

But hey if that makes me hatey so be it!

I've three teens who are all revising for GCSE and ALEVEL exams at mo.....we are surrounded by families making noise..it's hard for them to concentrate...but they manage..we wouldn't dream of complaining of children happily playing...plus ten yrs ago it was my children making all the noise...what goes around comes around😀

You can come and live next to me op.

I can't believe people quoting their mates playing loud music full of swearing and "the N word" in the middle of the day with the windows open in order to drive childminders out if business as if that is a big and clever way to get one up on people who annoy you with the sound of playing children

TwatBadging yes they are family homes, but how many families have seven children under 6?

That is way beyond normal expectations of what sort of noise can be expected from a family.

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

But apparently I am the neighbour from hell for not wanting VERY loud lawn mower noise from one particular neighbour. (See recent thread I started).

Please do not park the kids infront of the telly to appease your neighbour!

I'm back, thanks again. No you're right not really hatey. I guess I just want everyone to agree with me! But I can see things from her pov. Just bit upset by rl confrontation, and actually any confrontation, soz xx I need to woman up x

If kids are outdoors 3.5 hours a day the childminder is doing other activities for 5+ hours a day, which hardly suggests a childminder who can't think k of any activities except garden play.

My kids are outside at least that long most days unless it's raining as are most kids in our neighborhood.

And I didn't answer yr question op....sorry......anyway......in answer....no.not at all.

cries a bit at being called lazy

Doesn't the early years curriculum actually require constant access to outdoor space, or have I misunderstood that? I wouldn't have wanted my kids locked indoors if they'd gone to a childminder.

I found this which suggests that if you have 6 kids you're in the clear but if you have 7 or more then you ought to have planning permission - and at that point all sorts of things kick in like your neighbours get the opportunity to object etc.

Just saying you might want to get it down to 6 kids as soon as you can...

Oh and in answer to the question... Sorry but I would hate to live next to you and I've got 2 young shrieky kids myself. I know I would have to suck it up (unless you breached any regs and I could complain...) but doesn't mean I'd like it.

I'd be tempted to be out even more after reading what the OP's neighbour said about not having the two year old saying her name!
And I'm a primary teacher who sits in the car at playtime and lunchtime, just to get peace and quiet on my own!
I have quite a big garden and two noisy ds and I want nothing more than to come home and sit down quietly myself for a while with a large glass of wine
However, the local kids seem to congregate here on our trampoline and swing it's like a busman's holiday!
I'm great at tuning it all out

I don't get the comments about what the kids do in winter, or that the OP should bring them inside.

Fact is, it's gorgeous weather, it's their own garden, they are kids and they should have the same right to play there as any other kid.

Chill OP, you are getting a wide mix of opinions here which is what you asked for.

I would much rather you were my neighbour than the guy a few doors down from me who is constantly having bonfires or doing loud diy every day. I also don't think you're out too much. I'd just cut back on the 8:30 one as that's a bit early.

Thing is, if the 2yo is out there yelling 'Muuuuuuuummmeeeeeee!!!!!' 25 times in succession, that's going to get pretty annoying pretty quickly.

I think it's great that these kids get to be outside so much, but as there has been a complaint it needs to be addressed. Particularly if you've got more kids that you should have, if the neighbour finds that out she could get you shut down. So I would work out (for the rest of term, perhaps, anyway) some kind of schedule of indoor and outdoor play times.

You're not lazy, unless you dump the kids out there and leave them to scream and screech unchecked for any length of time.

If I wanted a childminder the right one would have many arributes, one of them being lots of outdoor time.

I would check where you stand with any sort of permissions you need and then, if I were in your shoes, as long as everything was above board, I would speak to the council myself, tell them how a normal day is structured, what your neighbour has said and see what they think.

I am not sure yabu tbh (although the noise might grate after a while). If you have to change for your neighbour's sake perhaps you could encourage your oldest DC to take up the voila or trumpet in the evenings .... In the garden of course, 30 mins minimum each night!!

It is your home too though (as opposed to your neighbour owning the road) and obviously you earn your living from home. I can imagine lots worse than a childminder with a few under 5s.

CatherineDB I have horrible neighbours, really awful spiteful old bastards - I send my son out to practice his trumpet regularly

If you're running a perfectly legal business YANBU.

There's not much you can do to control children making noise - it's their second raisin d'etre (first being making a mess)

They're learning.

I'll bet the neighbour's children were just as noisy (assuming they were not in straight jackets under the stairs)

Ear plugs, library etc for the teens.

Everyone has to run along and they are BU to expect pre-schoolers and primary aged children to be quiet.

I think we are friends already Zoo, if not will you be my friend?

Oh carry on crying OP!

If you were my childminder and I discovered you were letting my kids play and annoy others at 8.30am I'd be annoyed, I'd also be annoyed that you just threw them outside in your garden to play and couldn't be bothered to do anything else with them. Sorry if the truth hurts.

Yes of course, and you can borrow my trumpet playing son whenever you want to annoy people. It works a treat.

I can see both sides tbh, so I suggest a compromise. I definitely wouldn't start playing in the garden til after 9 and maybe put some quieter activities in the garden in the hopes that some children choose them. I wouldn't stop outdoor okay all together.

The double standards MNers have between their special snowflakes attending home based child care, independent schools, gardens so they don't have to mix with the great unwashed versus their insistence on neighbour's living like Victorians with children seen and not heard never fails to amaze me.

Quite right That .