to ask how you prevent outing yourself?

[NarkyKnockers]

I've posted on here for quite a few years now but namechange regularly just because I sometimes post personal stuff and I don't necessarily want ppl in rl to know all my business if they recognise me. I've noticed some people on here for years though. Do you accept being recognised? Do you just make sure you only share stuff you're comfortable with people in rl knowing. I've thought about changing minor details about my personal situation but I doubt I'd be consistent and the troll hunters would have a field day with me I think. Plus I like thinking of new names. Means I am always a newbie tho...

I recognised someone this morning.

What I would ask is if you do recognise someone on here and in real life then please don't ask about it on their fb page. A lovely friend did that to me and then HQ had to delete my entire posting history and I had to have a new name. I don't namechange on here, I change the details of what I post to make me less identifiable (like my children's ages or the sex of my siblings). What I write here is my choice and I choose not to share it with my fb or, real life acquaintances. People use the anonymity of this site to help them deal with serious issues sometimes.

Name change regularly, the only thing to do. Just can be a bit difficult when entering competitions as I can't remember my current name ;). Bye. Off for a change!

don't slag off my friends. DP or family on MN.nor share TMI about my sex life and personal grooming habits so I'm not fussed if I'm outed

I used to respond to these sorts of threads with "never say anything I wouldn't say in RL, so not bothered even if I am outed"

And then I was outed.

It left me feeling very exposed. There was nothing I'd said that I would mind if people in my RL came accross. But there was a rank unequalness of my now known identity, whilst in a sea of anonymous posters.

A combination of me being googlable by any MNer/lurker who fancied a nosey (not that they'd find out anything that exciting about me) and what it said about the very unpleasant nature gitfacedness of some posters/lurkers left me feeling far more upset than I'd immagined I would be when being outed was just theory, rather than practise.

At the time I laughed it off and "am I bovvered" fairly convincingly.

But I was bothered.

Several years later and I'm still plenty bothered enough not to risk a repeat experience.

Some people would find it a non issue if it happened to them. But I doubt I am the only person who assumed it would be no biggie, but found the reality to be a lot less benign. Which might be worth some posters bearing in mind given the exposure that some threads have been getting recently.

I don't think I've ever written anything that I'd be embarrassed for anyone in real life to see. I have had two name changes (over a period of probably about 2 years) but only because I'd thought of a name I liked and wanted to use!

Thanks Narky yes loads better and maybe i have x3girls

If it happens it happens. I cant see much difference between talking online and talking in real life.

Frequent name changer here.

I use new NNs if I want to start a post with any identifying scenarios or anything personal. And I frequently change irrelevant details like marital status, sex and number of DCs, area where I live - if it's not relevant to the post.

I never say anything on here that I wouldn't say in RL, but that's not the point. I would be embarrassed if my RL friends knew I posted on here .

I once had a near miss where I'd posted a funny story about something that had happened to me. Then I was telling a person about it in RL, and she said "Have you posted that on FB, because I'm sure I've heard it before, particularly your use of the phrase [insert phrase]". I knew that the only place I'd written about it was on here, and my blood ran cold. I NCed after that.

I NC very regularly.
I never post my children's names or mine.
I occasionally slightly change details (ages of DC by 1-2 years) or keep these details vague in order to be less identifiable.
I don't post anything here that I've discussed with anyone IRL or in non-anonymous places like Facebook.
I never, ever interact with mumsnet on Facebook etc.

I'm so boring on here and in RL that I don't think I could be outed

I name change regularly.

This thread has made me think

iPost, lots of people on MN are FB friends with other MNetters, I don't think many people on MN are truly anonymous anymore.

Yes. I was too.

But it felt very different. Chosing to reveal my identity to people who were doing the same, was one thing.

Clicking on thread on MN to find myself outed on a thread, populated by people posting with pseudonyms (most of whom I could not match to a SM profile to) had an entirely different effect.

Like I said, before that I was pretty blasé about the concept of being outed. It's not like I reveal deep, dark, "unknown to my RL people" secrets/opinions on here. So I didn't feel like I had any reason to be particularly cautious.

What I wasn't prepared for was the disquieting, emotional impact of unwanted, unchosen exposure by the hand of another who did it with ill will.

It was a fecking horrible feeling, which has lingered.

I change ages, dates, timelines...

Which probably means I've contradicted myself at some point when I've rehashed a story somewhere down the line.

I don't name change apart from seasonally (or something really identifiable, twice I think) and have been here over ten years

I've had a few weird messages over the years but I don't think I'm identifiable as I have no social media presence.

I think social media including Mumsnet has changed over the last few years though. I remember thinking that trolls were a bit sad, had some serious issues, were emotional vampires etc.

Now the trolls seem much more malicious, much more personal.

It's a growing area of serious harm and I imagine it's just going to get worse with people being stalked and killed.

X2boys I sent you a pm

I agree with pp, I'm mostly too boring to be outed! I've never name changed but I've never posted children's names/where I live, though I have said I'm a teacher. Doesn't narrow it down too much though!

I really wanted to ask if I was BU about a parking situation a few months ago but I'd told a few friends in RL the story so I didn't post it here. (They said I wasn't but I'm still not sure!)

I've only started threads that are general questions (eg AIBU not to be excited about second pregnancy?) (he's 1 now and amazing so yes, I was BU!) would never post about a real life scenario if I'd discussed it with anyone in RL.

I mean did they post your RL name on MN

Yes

Some people would find it a non issue if it happened to them. But I doubt I am the only person who assumed it would be no biggie, but found the reality to be a lot less benign

I would hate to be outed, I just can't think of who could do it. They'd have to be on here for a start. I've posted quite a few personal things. Things I wouldn't want revealed in rl, so I'm thinking that I am going to need to be more careful.

I NC regularly and change ages / sex of DCs - I don't care if that makes me troll-hunter fodder - if they follow procedure and report to MNHQ rather than troll hunt then there is no problem.

I change some innocuous details. Eg talk about DD when I mean Ds or whatever. Say I'm 35 when I'm 33, stuff that doesn't matter but is enough to keep me anonymous. I name change fairly regularly too. Have never ever lied about anything serious, or any big details or anything for any kind of gain.